内村鑑三全集36書簡一､岩波書店､578頁､4700円､1983.8.24
書簡一
目次
凡例
一八八〇年（明治一三年）………………………三
一八八一年（明治一四年）………………………八
一八八二年（明治一五年）………………………二四
一八八三年（明治一六年）………………………四九
一八八四年（明治一七年）………………………九三
一八八五年（明治一八年）………………………一二三
一八八六年（明治一九年）………………………二二四
一八八七年（明治二〇年）………………………二五五
一八八八年（明治二一年）………………………二七二
一八八九年（明治二二年）………………………三一〇
一八九〇年（明治二三年）………………………三二〇
一八九一年（明治二四年）………………………三二九
一八九二年（明治二五年）………………………三四七
一八九三年（明治二六年）………………………三六六
一八九四年（明治二七年）………………………三八九
一八九五年（明治二八年）………………………四一一
一八九六年（明治二九年）………………………四三一
一八九七年（明治三〇年）………………………四六二
一八九八年（明治三一年）………………………四六七
一八九九年（明治三二年）………………………四六九
一九〇〇年（明治三三年）………………………四七二
一九〇一年（明治三四年）………………………四八八
一九〇二年（明治三五年）………………………五一一
一九〇三年（明治三六年）………………………五四四
書簡一【一八八〇年（明治一三年）より一九〇三年（明治三六年）まで】
(3) 一八八〇年（明治一三年） 二〇歳
7月28日【太田稲造殿 陸中盛岡 札幌農黌 内村鑑三】
July 28th，Sapporo．
To Paul I．O． Dearly Beloved Brother：
Most heartily we have received your letter from Hakodate，and are greatly rejoiced for your safe journey，prosperous on land and not very unpleasant on sea．We expect that your further trip was also a safe and agreeable one．When yourletter reached the College，we seven（except Frederick）were absent on Jozankei．We spent about four days there，and though suffered much from heavy package which we had to carry．and the attack of all-jaws，yet the excursion was a pleasant and quite a successful one．Being attracted by ambition，Charles made two excursions to the source of the Toyobira，and though unable to arrive at his long-craving bed of dear arsenic he found a large block on the bank．What I suffered the most is to prepare our daily food．My（and our also）bitterest enemy was therefore our Great Eater，who，lazy as he was，was the greatest and awfuI consumer of others' energy，if I may use an expression from Physics．Thanks be to you that you were not one of our companions．
I know that you are now an only Christian star among the dark abyss of heathenism．“Only (4)in the rigor of winter，we can distinguish the ever-green pines”are the words of ancient Chinese．When we are among Christian brethren where love，peace，and good will are the things ardently desired for，where rose and primrose，camellia and geranium，furze and cyclamen，are all blooming upon a common bed，and constantly exposed before our eyes，we，from our weakness，are prone to become tired of their beauties，to neglect to water them，and encourage their growth with diligence， EFFORT and sincerity，−nay，far from this，−we treat them with harshness，and not infrequently，even with austerity．But imagine a tiny primrose blushing among the choking weeds，where chickweed and mugwort，sedges and rushes are the predominating vegetation．Then we admire its relenting beauty，remove the obstruction to its growth，soften the ground，give Supports，and encourage its development．I believe，brother Paul，（as I had experienced last summer）that the more you think about your Christian brethren in Sapporo，the dearer you become of them；and so we，the more we think of you，and of our want in love and kindness toward you when you were with us，the more regret we feel，the stronger becomes our attachment toward you，and be it a comfort to you，the more fervent becomes our prayer for your sake．Blessed be His name，who has thus furnished us with unfeigned love among us．The chain which joins our hearts should be ever incorruptible，“being much more precious than of gold that perishes”．Great is the distance，and wide is the sea which separate us from you，but stronger becomes our attachment and feeling as the gap increases．Blessed be His name．
We are now all in peace and ordinary health．Surveying is not very successful on account of my feeble health，and therefore，be not too anxious for my hoarding treasure．Fujita however is very hardy，and will be enormously wealthy at the time you will get to Sapporo．The Botanist (5)debilitated a little．The Chemist，a little headache，the Engineer（ambitious）reduced to great poverty．The Pig-ologist，reading novels.The Gymnasium and Kahoe，all right.
Good-By till next opportunity.
Your old brother and friend，
JONATHAN．
P．S．Give my best and sincere regard to your mother，and to your father also if he is now in Morioka．Do not forget to pray for us，we also pray for you constantly．
8月3日【太田稲造愛兄 陸中盛岡 新渡戸様方ニテ 大至急要書 八月三日発ス 札幌農黌 内村鑑三】
Aug．3rd，1880．
Sapporo．
Dear Brother Paul．
Your letter from Morioka arrived at us yesterday evening，and it gave us a great shock，−a shock which inhibited our sense of taste，and relaxed the opening of the moisture of sorrow．General silence prevaiied through our ever-merry companions．We placed ourselves in your situation，−and Oh！ what a grief，an unbearable trial！ Your sole hope in visiting your native town was undoubtedly to meet your mother，but ah！ ah！ She had already gone before you reached your destination．Brother，I know not how to console you．“Weep with them that do weep，and rejoIce with them that do rejoice”were the words of an apostle．I shall not here endeavor to tell you what was and still is，my feeling and strong sympathy for you，but shall give you accounts of grief of (6)my Christian brethren in Sapporo．Edwin refuses to eat since last evening．He is still weeping．So is Frederick who since a week ago is suffering from pain in head．Francis laid himself prostrate on beds in full grief．Hugh，imagining himself what he will do when his old parents shall fall into same fate as your beloved mother did，dared not to go a surveying this morning，in which work he has been enthusiastically engaging．Charles tried with his manly character not to show his grief and sympathy in his face，but he is quiet and contemplating，manifestly showing his intolerable feeling for you．Brother，the above statements may not suffice to do anything to succour your sorrow，but as I truly approve that they are not out of hypocrisy or for the sake of outward appearance，accept them as signs of true friendship and brothership which God，our gracious Father，made to dwell in our hearts．
Brother，God's ways are no our ways．Thou knowest about the patience of Job，how he endured under continued sufferings．Thou rememberest about Moses and Elijah how they oftentimes were compelled to do many things contrary to their desire，but were ultimately crowned with happiness，hope，and prosperity．Are we not a chosen generation，a peculiar people endowed with privilege to have our eternal hope in God，the Creator of Universe，in vastness，greatness and power，but also friend to orphan，and afflicted in his mercifulness？ Might it not have been His arrangement that if your mother died after hearing gospel from you and yet did not believe，and then sleep forever，she must meet greater and fiercer punishment than if she go，as she did，without being flashed with a gleam of gospel？
Let your trial，O！ dear brother Paul in Christ，be“found unto praise and honor and glory at the appearing of Jesus Christ”．It is a great，yea，the greatest trial for you，but the“trial of your (7)faith is much more precious than tbat of gold that perishes”．
Be not，brother，overwhelmed with grief，because it is a great injury for your health，for the recovering of which you visited your native land．Your deceased mother cares for your health than she did for her own body．Be courageous and try to become a strong and healthy man，and endeavor to please your departed parents by good and serviceable works for your country，for God，for the name of your dear family，for your own sake．（身ヲ立 道ヲ行ヒ 父母ノ名ヲ後世ニ挙ルハ孝ノ至リナリ）．We never neglect to pray for you．Brother，dear brother，I sincerely expect，and pray you，that I may meet you again，healthy in body，vigorous in faith，abundant in hope，and full of grace．
Your most beloved brother and friend，
JONATHAN K．UCHIMURA．
Give my best regards to all of your relatives.
(8) 一八八一年（明治一四年） 二一歳
9月30日 【宮部金吾殿行 下谷徒士町 小石川上富坂町 内村鑑三ヨリ】
Sept．30，1881．
Tokio．
Dear Frank：
Gladly received your short note respecting your great probability to stay in Tokio．I do rejoice with you．God，who has been our constant guide of our Lives，has allowed you to fulfill your hope．I thanked Him，and you ought to do sol also．Let our bodies and souls be intrusted in His hand，and there shall be no failure．Let us not try to obtain honor or wealth，or prosperity by ourselves，but trust them all to the hand of our God，for“in due season we shall reap，if we faint not”．We have already experienced great failure in some of our friends，trying to obtain honor by themselves．“Let the brother of low degree rejoice in that he is exalted：but the rich in that he is made low”，teaches St．James．Oh！ what a joy to you，to your parents，to your family members，to me，and to all your true friends，that God has so abundantly blessed you．I do and ought rejoice with you when you rejoice．
But brother，you must not only rejoice，but weep with me when I weep．My family trouble is (9)growing greater day after dav．Oh！ what an awful scene to me to see my uncle and his children all coming to my little cottage，there to enjoy the freedom from hard labor，because I can feed and clothe them．Approaching of my departure，failure in business of my father，intrusion of strangers to the already filled-up cottage，all make my home dreary，awful，＆ cheerless．Food tastes bad，brain almost deranged，and for the sake of avoiding the bad scene，I have to leave my dear home and rumble in streets during this rainy weather．For me it is all right；but how can my mother avoid the scene．Can tears，regret，meditation？ i twill be easier to conceive the scene than for me to describe．My heart strives me to hasten toward Hokkaido，but the affairs of the home obscure my peace，as I leave behind me such a great obstacle．
But i trust in God both while rejoicing and weeping．I trust that God’s ways are not our ways．He who gave me abundant blessing will never leave me alone and comfortless．All will work for my good．Pray for me，brother，as I pray for you．May I be strengthened to endure through this trial，and may count it all joy when I meet with diverse temptations．
I am yours，
JON．K．UCHIMURA．
P．S．Departure will beon the 3rd October by Kokonoye-Maru．
10月14日 【宮部金吾様 東京下谷徒士町 札幌 内村鑑三】
Sapporo，
Oct．14，1881．
(10)Dear Kingo：
Much thanks for your prayer．I have arrived yesterdav after a long journey of ten days．The sea in general was calm and pleasant，and though accompanied by some danger，I and my brother are now here safely．The voyage from Yokohama to Hakodate was a very pleasant one．The weather exceedingly fine，the moon very bright，the sea calm，the ship large，passengers few，and not a meal was lost during 3-days voyage，I had also enjoyed the society of Mr．and Mrs．Squire，and also an American whale-fisherman from whom I obtained much knowledge．At Hakodate I found all Christian brotbers and sisters welcome me with great kindness，and 5-days' sojourn there，not a day was spent without joy and pleasure．On the 8th I was happy enough to attend the first 親睦会 Of Hakodate Christians in which my short speech was received with great pleasure by all．I found Mr．＆ Mrs．桜井 very active in Christian work and I entered into great intimacy with them．I found Mr．成田 very active as usual．Happy for me，just when I arrived at Hakodate I met a great storm，and though I was not able to start for Otaru as soon as I expected，yet how much was I benefited，you can easily imaglne．
On the morning of 12th I was on board the little Yoshino．At first the sea seemed to be calm，and for about 4hrs．I was perfectly strong．But gradually the waves commenced to become higher and higher．松前 came to sight，and the ship commenced to roll about as a little strip of wood．Eleven times I vomited，and O！ what an awful scene was it to me．Not a grain have I tasted，and when I was on land I and my brother were like ghosts．Severe gale from west however hastened our boat，and we were in the harbor of 手宮 after 22hrs．of rolling and pitching．
On the same morning we got on railway car and arrived safely at our journey's end on 13th．(11)At the station I was welcomed by brothers Ota and Watase，and was led by the former to his residence，in which a special room was provided for me．Kindness，friendship，congratulation，O！ what a great joy to me．Thank God for his abundant mercy．He who taught us“to care for nothing”has provided for all my wants．“Come！ whatever may come！”My strength will be in God．
Am rather busy now．Will write you soon．Best complements to your mother，brothers，and sisters．About your destination Mr．Nakashima must have told you．It is a success．Mr．Oshima says he ought have telegraphed to you，but he is not very certain．Mr．Mori says，you can stay，of which Mr．Nakashima must have told you．
The Residence of Mr．Oshima's family is 厚木在中新田，and I wish you would take the trouble to visit them at your opportunity．I found that I was rather very unkind to my beloved brother，and he wa smuch disappointed to hear，that I did not visit his family．I shall pay the expense if you would be kind enough to make special visit．
I found that my department is 漁猟科；hence it includes not only Fishery，but also about birds and animals，and I found that my present business is the overseeing of the Economic Zoology of Hokkaido．Hence all books about birds，mammals，reptiles，and fishes will be welcomed．I have now in hand about 10yen which I can spend in books，and if you had an opportunity of meeting second-hand books of such nature，be kind enough to keep them．I will send the money to you presently，and must ask your kindness in taking trouble in book-buying．The following books I want to have；
Spencer's Biology，2voIs．
(12) Figuer's Birds ＆ Reptiles．
Mivart's Genesis of Species．
Treasury of Natural History，
etc．，etc．
Of course small sum of 10 yen cannot buy all these，but I will try to send the money as soon as possible．
Just now（evening 7 o'clock）three of us went to Mr．Machimura for the special purpose of seeing his new wife．Ota made two bows，and burst into laughter，then Hiroi commenced to laugh and probably struck his body．Mrs．M．was much ashamed and immediately retired．O！ bui-ki-bui-ki．
We ate feeding upon squashes every day．Fuita and Hiroi made measurement of the capacities of each of our cups，and amount of rice eaten was determined as follows：
No．T．Adachi，（Largest cup）
U．Hiroi
V．Fujita
Myself and my brother
W．Ota
We struck カナダライ at every meal and we have very jolly time at meal-time．
11月10日 【宮部金吾宛 東京】
(13) Nov．10，1881．
Sapporo．
Dear Frank：
More than 40days have passed away，and I have not received a letter from you．You have already broken your promise．O！ Kingo，Kaboten，Dekomaru，be prompt in letter writing to your brother in Sapporo．（失敬）
Since my arrival in Sapporo，there are many-things which I want to write to you．As to myself，I am going on in my business very pleasantly．The work with which I am intrusted，――Fishery of Hokkaido――is too big for me alone．The production of a country worthing more than 3,000,000 yen is in my hand．BIess me I am an officer of 30 yen，whose business is to oversee such a grand work．On the 26th of last month，I left Sapporo to observe the fishery up and down the Ishikari R．I stayed in Tsuishikari for 2 days，and went down the riverin an Aino canoe，touching at every points where fishery is going on．At Bannaguro I stayed for two days，and then went down to Ishikari on foot．While staying there I visited many of the eminent fishermen and learned as much as I can about salmon fishery．I also took an Aino canoe up and down the river．After staying there 4 days，I started for Atsuta，and examined pretty minutely all the fishing grounds along the coast．Everything was very pleasant，and I felt as if I am getting the most valuable part of my knowledge．I returned to Sapporo after 12 days' journey．richly stocked with valuable information．I have already finished my report to thegovernment and I am now preparing to start to Tokachi and all along the Eastern coast。Is it not very pleasant？ The Sapporo Youngmen's Christian Association which has long been anticipated is now instituted。The first meeting is going (14)to take place on the 12th inst．The Christian work is going on now very vigorously．The greatest difficulty is in its financial condition，and many sources from which we received the request for donation，make it rather difficult for the aggrandizement of our own church．This is however rather a secret matter，you know．
I cannot say nothing definitely about Mr．S――．In fact，I am rather doubtful whether he can serve Christ witb much fidelity，if he cares so much about society．I have already experienced the fact that flattery and bribery are the predominating elements in the official life．“Conform to the society，and you can have the popularity of all”is the maxim of the society in which I am now livjng．But“ムenceforth I know no man after flesh”taught the Apostle Paul，and the only way to combat with this generation of vlpers is by“armour of righteousness on the right hand and the left”．
Thanks be to God that I have received two letters from my father，stating that he is attending Mr．Hiraiwa's church every Sunday．I am now greatly encouraged and I feel I am nearing to God day after day。God who wrought this selfsame thing must be aliving God，and able to lead me through my life。Visit on my bouse frequently，I pray you，brother．Let your brotberin Sapporo soon hear of the most joyful news that his father is accepted by the Church as a good soldier of Christ．Imagine me，I am in ecstasy of joy．Come，whatever may come！ God who has so frequently heard my prayer will always be on my side．
Mr．A．is already drownedin Miss M・He is said to be the present 深草少将，because he is almost always visiting his Love，and return home very late at night。He will probably be buried up in snow this winter．Long-nostril-gentleman，he must be．Many interesting facts about him．
(15) Messrs．Iwasaki and Machimura have brought their“Sources of Sorrowing”．30 yen not sufficient．Very sorry，yet was very merry during marrying．
Exceedingly sorry to tell you that Brotber Ota's eyes are very bad now．He is now almost a blindman，and is staying at home．He will probably be in Tokio soon．His Christian views are exceedingly confusing，and all my consolation to him was in vain．Pray for him．
Best regards to Your mother，brother，sisters，and nieces．
Yours most beloved brother in Christ，
JON．K．UCHIMURA．
12月15日 【宮部金吾殿行 東京下谷徒士町 札幌北四条東一丁目壱番地 内村鑑三】
Sapporo，
Dec．15th，1881．
Brother Deko，
Mr．Miyabe：
Dear Sir，
Health，wealth and prosperity to you．
Many interesting things to be written．Where is your letter to any one of your Sapporo friends？
Your forgotten friend，
(16) J．S．K．U．
The above is the form of the postal card which I was on the point of sending to you as a substitute for December letter．To say the truth，Miyabe，we were rather enraged for your negligence，and almost determined to cut up any communication with you．To ask apology by your temperament is unexcusable．But，NOW，you are a good boy，a faithful brother，as ever．Your good letter arrived yesterday，and I am now in ease by feeling that I am not your forgotten friend．I feel as if I am now with you．I feel now that same earnest love and brothership for you，which we have experienced during 4 years as peaceful chums．I must say here，that，though your temperament is such as to neglect letter writing，my temperament（as you Well know）is such as to feel very gloomy and anxious when an expected communication from a loving friend does not arrive．He must be wicked who knowing this to be true，has neglected the great duty of friendly communication for about 60 days．But NOW“I am to live and die”with you．――U．Cor．
You are now having good companion in Brother Ota．I went as far as Tomakomai with him，and we had a very gloomy time there，when he went south，and good-bye．A day and half of our society on horseback was a hard time for me．His gloomy and I went north，bidding a kind reflecting habits made him exceedingly sorrowful，and I was unable to console him with all my might．His hope obscure，his future undecided，and with confusing idea about Life and Salvation，I left him．His sight was dim，and so was his hope．I intended to go with him as far as Mororan，but thinking that this will make him still more sorrowful，I made up my determination to leave him at Tomakomai．Brother，I have already used up all my might in consoling and strengthening him，though without any decided result．It is now your turn to try your best，and though by the (17)will of God，his bodily sight is gone，may his sight of faith in Eternity，remain strong and unchangeable．
Leaving Tomakomai，I travelled north，alone on horseback．By the sea-side，among the mountains，I had to pursue my lonely journey．None to console me，save that same Consolator of the “cast-down”．Rolling waves，hissing winds；echoing forests，thundering cataract；kingly salmon and beautiful shells；though nonsense to men of without God，were，thanks be to God，vivid scenes of might and beauty，love and grace to me．Thus I went on as far as Porobetsu，about 3ri，east of 浦川．I ascended the river of the same name，and it was a pleasant time for me，as I was able to see the true condition of the Hokkaido salmon fishery．A net，rudein construction，and few kens in length worked by 3 men，can catch salmon as many as 50-100．The river is literally filled with fish．Can you imaglne me in such a position？ But more joyful was I when by ascending the river still further，I met a Christian brother，Who with ecstasy of joy，Welcomed me，and received me as his warmest and most truthful friend．Among the mountains，far from human habitations of the coast，and among the“generations of vipers”，I found a repose．Oh！ what a joy to me．I shall not try to explain the scene by pen and ink，for they are in vain．He is Mr・Kato of Seki-shin-Sba．Porobetsu was the farthest end of my journey，for the season of salmon fishery east of it，had almost gone．After lonely journey of 18 days，I was again received to the arms of brotbers and sisters in Sapporo．
The Sapporo Y．M．C．A．is in very promising condition．About its first meeting，Mr．Ota must have told you sufficiently．Its second meeting was no less interesting．The speakers were as follows：Adachi，On prostitution；Oshima，on Christian Love；Myself，On the use of AIcoholic Liquors(18)（physiological）；and 永井碌 on 時事小言．Many unbelievers are much interested in this work，and already there are 4 applicants for admission，anunbelievers．
But the most encouraging of all is our church work．The regular attendants on Sunday is about 50，and we see every time new comers．All are much intereste din the matter．Some（良吉 and my brother）are interested in selling Bibles．They sold books，wOrth of 2.50 yen，a day．Mr．角谷 will start for village preaching，the next Sunday．Mr．大島 is very earnest in church-matters．My chief business at present is not so much official as in church-management．The works among women seem very hopeful，on account of the recent arrival of a good Christian lady from Tokio．The works among children are being now undertaken．I assure you that when you will come to Sapporo the next year，you Will find our church entirely different．Pray for us，and also for me，who with his deficient ability，and yonth，is intrusted with duty，which is the noblest of all．
Of the abundant blessing shown to my home at Tokio，I have received frequent informations from many of my Tokio brethren．What shall I say here？ Can you imagine my joy at present？ It was about 2 years ago，when you received an information about the conversion of your brother．At that time I was entirely hopeless of the conversion of any one of my relations．To confess the truth I coveted your positio nat that time，and an earnest prayer which I offered to God at that same occasion I very well remember．I also am now a strong man．I feel my prayer has been accepted and answered by God．The spirit of propagating religion is now increased．“Freely ye have
received freely give”says the Master．When disappointment come，I call to my mind the mercy of God．When wealth and prosperity tempt me，I do the same．Oh！ if I were to express all feeling at present，I had better meet you and talk with you，heart to beart，as we had often done so．(19)Visit him at your leisure，I pray you．Speak to him what I now write to you．Pray for him at your opportunity．
of Mr．Adachi，I sent words to you by Mr．Ota．Please to tell to Takatsuka and Adachi's parents that I can do nothing except to communicate to him their opinions about his marriage．I shall have no relation hereafter with that matter．
“For Love's secret pleasure，let no counsel take”，should be my motto，I think．Pity me，――brotber，I am in a position between affirmative and negative．To please one，I must displease the other．I am afraid that I must enter into bad terms with Mr．Adachi．But for me，“Whether I be outside of myself，I am to God”．
Hiroi is now in Poronai．Mr．Arakawa married Miss Dzusho．Tanouchi and Uchida not yet returned．
I am in leisure now．I have to start for the western coasts on about 10th of Jan．for observing cod-fishery．I am 当直 to-morrow，and also on Christmas．
May Merry Christmas and happy New Year come to you all．
Your most beloved Brother，
JON．K．UCHIMURA．
Best regards to your witty motber．good brotber，kind sisters，and to others．Also to Mr．Uyemura．Tell him I will write him soon．
Thanks for the book you have bought for me．I am now in financial crisis，caused by the last journey，and will not be able to send you money till February．If you can find any othe rbooks which cost 5 yen〔原文不明〕two zeros，please to get them at any time．
(20) 12月□日 太田稲造宛 東京
Dear Paul：
That sorrowful scene which we experienced at Tomakomai，some one month ago，is now fresh to me as it was then．You go east，I go west；you in illness，I in strength（by the mercy of God）；you wept and I also wept．There are something in this world which we cannot express by language；and that feeling which I had in leaving you in the hotel and in going to 郡役所 was of such nature．You have often said that such a scene is very pleasant，but，ah！ brother，though it may be so with you，to me it was a hard time．You might have thought that I had but little sympathy with your misfortune；but，to me I had to waste my whole energy to console you．The night at Chitose was a hard night；I asked you questions，and you answered me but little．You know all about me．You know my temperament．You know how anxious I am，when others seem to be not pleasant with me．If I were to be asked of the hardest and most sorrowful time I had experienced during long brothership with you，I would answer that it was during our lodging at Chitose．
Of my lonely journey along the eastern coasts，I have already wrote to Miyabe．We are now waiting for information about your journey on land，and voyage on sea．
The disposal of your December salary has been done as proposed by you，and in addition to that，sum of 64 sen was paid to Gonbei to close your account with our Central Treasury Department，and 6.5 sen to the college for interest to be paid last month．Now，taking of these sums from 12.86 yen，the remainder，we have
(21) 12.86−（.64＋.065）＝12.155.
Paying 15 sen for postage I hereby send you 12 yen as the total sum．
How is your illness since your arrival in Tokyo？ I am constantly praying for you．Be strong，brother．If I was not successful to console and satisfy you by my weak logic，let my earnest request be received．Be free from all vain thinking．John St．Mill，you often put belief on；but remember，even he himself was not at all satisfied with his established opinion．Rev．Judson was a man who was tormented by his conscience as to what would make him satisfied．At first his philosophy seemed to be well-grounded，but a death-bed scene of his friend soon brought him to Christianity．Men without future，and without savior must be an unsatisfied men．If you try to satisfy yourself by any other means than by the Gospel of Christ，you goi nto confusion more and more．You have once been called to the grace of God，and we pray that that calling be not in vain．Rise up，brother；have your bope higher，deeper，and wider．Open your eyes upward；have your sight clear，and do not mar it with“false science”as it has been called．
We are going on pretty happy．I have now no business to be done in the office，and I therefore applied to Mr．Hosokawa to send me to the college museum to study fishes there．My request was granted，and I am now daily going to the college again．Dr．Cutter will assist me in Microscopy．I shall probably attend the College museum till about the middle of January when I must go to the western coasts again to observe cod-fishery．
The yearis ending and our finances are not good．Fuel becomes dearer，and so does rice．“Mochi”must be tsuked，debt must be paid back．Shoes must be bought and clothes must be mended．Hiroi puts his boots upon his head，Fujita cares his lamp with all possible care．Only (22)Adachi is active in his daily visit to his temple at Motomura．Winds and snows he cares not，but his conjugal love impels him to untiring pilgrimage．Nine bundred and ninety-nine nights he must go，and at the lOOOth night probably，he will be glad to be buried up in snow like that old ハナタラシ，深草少将．
I wrote to Miyabe about a week ago．Tell him that a letter addressed to 札幌諸君 is not sufficient to release him from his obligation to write frequently to us．Tell him also that in case he neglect to write me once a month，I shakk drive a nail into a piece of paper with his name written in Italics．Tell him that to ask excuse because of his temperament is too ヲーチヤク．
I wish that you would give my special regard to your father．I intended several times to write to him directly about you，but I am still in negligence．I will try to do so soon．Tell him that I greatly sympathize with him for the illness of his son．When I consider how much my father feel anxious in care of my illness，I can easily appreciate his care．All consideration seems it advisable for you to be a “perfect”man．I say this not from joke，but in truth，this I think should be done with proper precaution，however．Be not ashamed；it is for the sake of your body and soul．
The Christmas is at hand，and new year is drawing nigh．Wish you have pleasant time in warm winter．Let Dekokin be your constant companion．I wrote to him about you．The church and S．Y．C．A．very good prospect．We have determined to have a great 親睦会 on the 29th inst．and the opening service of the New Church on the 8th of Jan．I was appointed as a committee as usual，and am very busy now．Will write you soon，again．
Your ever obliged brother，
(23) in soul，body，and spirit，
JON．K．UCHIMURA．
IF WRITINGS BE TOO MINVTE，LET DEXOKIN READ IT TO YOU．I CANNOT AFFORD TO PAY MUCH FOR POSTAGE STAMPS．
(24) 一八八二年（明治一五年） 二二歳
1月1日【宮部金吾殿 東京下谷徒士町 明治十五年一月一日 於札幌 内村鑑三】
Merry Christmas and Happy New Year to you．Abundant in grace，unfeigned in hope；strong in body，as well as in Soul，the year 1882 finds me in vigor．May the Love and Brothership between us be as deep and faitllful this year as ever．This day is not only a joyous day because of its usual merriness，but to me because of many recollections of past year during which un fathomable mercies were shown to me from our God．
JON．K．UCHIMURA．
1月20日【太田稲造・宮部金吾宛 東京】
Sapporo，
20th Jan．1881［sic］．
Dear Monk and Deko：
I have many things to write to you，but I shall first commence with church matters．
From the very first day of the year，we received announcement from Mr．Davison，stating that (25)if it be possible we should return any portion of the church fund to him by telegraph．His cool and full-of-meaning letter was closed by a short statement of his disagreement with regard to our church procedure．You know，it is not very pleasant to receive such in-gi-no-waru-i letter from the very first of the year．We were all excited，and a cry“return the money as soon as possible”came from every one of the church members．We had at that time 178 yen from Pres．Clark，and this sum together with 35 yen for the price Of books which some of us obtained from him，we immediately dispatched to him by telegraph．But that letter made us a great good．The members of the two churches have been more firmly united，and all conjoined to pay back the money as soon as possible．Even“unproductive”members determined to give up their widow's mite．Already Fujita and R．Nakamura paid up their portion and all are striving to imitate him within the shortest possible time．I must here urge you to join with us in this work．You，Miyabe！ do not think I am richer than you，because my salary is twice that of yours．We are everyday crying for poverty，but still we must work for the sake of the Lord．I want to buy books as you do：but which shall Ibuy first，books or United Sapporo Church．You，Ota！ we sympathize you for your misfortune，and we shall not urge you to spend as much as we do．Still if 中村良吉 who has no income，if 藤村 and my brother，who are“professors”of district schooIs are going to join with us，may I not also ask you to do the best you can？ We have to look with great earnestness upon the union of the two churches in Sapporo．We had long been expecting for it，but without any possible hope．But now unexpecting，the union has been affected，and the only step for the complete union is the paying back of our debts．If you have money to spend for idle books from the shelf of old book store，spare it for the sake of Sapporo Church．Our church is now in great financial distress．Beside (26)our common church expenses，we have often been called to contribute for the sake of other purposes，as for Mr．Hosokawa of Shubetzu，and for the sake of one sister from Tokio，who is now suffering from Uteritis，and whom，this day，we sent to the hospital．Do not think that we 10 productive members can contribute so much．Am I a fool to announce you about our sufferings？ Brothers，be kind enough to consider our positions．Put yourselves in my place，and consider．But God who can raise dead，can also raise our poor spirit．Pray for our church brotbers．Pray for me，who being younger than most of the members，and also“a prophet in his own country”have to forbear pretty severely．When I try to please one，another came to change our procedure．Oftentimes I have been thrown into total disappointment．Some said that if we follow the system which I have urged upon，the church will go to pieces，and himself will separate from the church．Shall I，brother，resign my office？ But then who will manage the matter so as to please all the members．Come，Whatever may come；I have to work for the sake of the Religion and work according to my conscience．May God bless and comfort me．
On the 29th of December last，we had a great Shinbokukai of the Sapporo church-members．The meeting was of very great interest to all，and especially to me，inasmuch as it was a meetiug which we have never experienced before．The members of the two churches uniting into one，together with brothers and sisters from other parts of the Emplre，and long expected 田内 and 内田，who recently returned from their intrepid expedition，――ali joining in“Praise God from whom all blessings flow”．We had a pleasant play on that night．The actors were John，Adachi，Dzuku，Watase，and myself．What it was it is too long to describe．The personages were one druggist for selling Buddhism．Sintoism，and Confucianism，two for selling Christianity；one was a common (27)puffed-up materialist，believing in Mill and Spencer，and one was a deeply affected patient．You can tell from this what the play was．Tanouchi described and practised an Aino-dance，Uchida told many fanciful stories about his expeditions．O！ it was a very pleasant time for us，and I regret that you two had not been there．
On the 8th inst．we dedicated our new church to God，and invited many to hear our speeches．The audience，about 50．The speeches were as follows：1．Watase，On Religion；2．Oshima，The Existence of God；3．Myself，On the Relation of 帆立貝（pecten yessoensis）to Christianity（a queer subject）；4．I to，French Revolution，Or the fruit of Atheism；5．Kadoya，The power of the Gospel．Glad to tell you that these speeches had good effects on hearers．Since that time，audience in Sunday and in S．Y．M．C，A．is increasing．
After informing you，thus much about the church，I will proceed to another subject；that is，the mode of our living．We know in animal physiology that when an animal comes to heat，it becomes very irritable，and constantly seeks after its mate and rejects others．If this is so in low animals，why nOt in man？ Who is Hiroi？ A very large buttocked fellow，not very nicely built．Who is Fujita？ A very large eared 入道，not a beantiful young man．Who is I？ Why，a black slender gentleman，an ugly fellow．Who is that beautiful gOddess at Motomura，every way lovely，gentle，buttock Kamakuraishi，body well proportioned，face cherry-like？ O！ who is that beautiful nymph who is to be adored as the best and the most beautiful lady in the world？ Forsake ugly fellows，and cleave to this imaginary woman．Do not want live with them，talk with them，play with them．Every night repeat the pilgrimage to the temple lest she will forsake――，Cardinai Bimbo，Large-eared Nu※［uの上に長音符号］，Black Longshan，are only outward friends．My true heart-to-heart friend is but (28)one in the work，a“Sumotori”，“a little school maam”．Bachelors form one society，the married the other．
One night，at about 12 o'clock，while I was studying．different forms of theistic evolution，a faint sound came to me．It was somebody ordering our servant to do something for him．With stealthy step，I approached the place，（being careful to hide myself from their view，）I found a poor Hiroi ordering the servant to boil potatoes for him．I immediately returned to my room，and at about the time the boiling was completed，I quietly went to the room；and after waiting a little，Hiroi，a pretended Kwazoku，came in，and hastily took hold of ナベ，and tried to run back to his room．“Dorobo”I cried out．“What are you carrying？ What is in your ナベ？”The Pretender stopped，and asking me to pardon him because he was very hungry．I asked him why he would not buy cakes，and not to use our common property．He implored me to be silent，promising me to let me partake of the potato dish．He confessed his financial condition，which he said，consists of only 30 sen，which is to continue for about 15 days more until the next salary．I pardoned him，but went to his room with him to have a nice potato-lunch．But now，I commenced to be イジキタナイ，and we two were careful not to disturb the sleep of the Greedy Fujita．We opened the cover，and commenced our lunch．“Nanda”cried the sleeping 入道，in the neighboring room．“Shimatta”cried Hiroi，and immediately 藤田大入道 made his appearance，whose empty stomach can only be filled by a bushel．But considering it our fate to meet such a great misfortune，we all made peace and proceeded in our night dinner．“ナニガデキタ”，Was another cry from our“Pilgrim”．I answered honestly，“potatoes”．“マダアルカ”was anotber question．“Yes！ but all rottened”，I answered．Meanwhile Hiroi，being anxious that another intruder will come，hastened to swallow in (29)as much as he can of recently-boiled potatoes，and on that account he severely burnt his tongue，from which he suffered for many days after．“塩ガアルカ”was still another question；but Fujita putting all the salt there immediately to his mouth，cried out“No！”Thus closes the scene，and the whole was caused by a great poverty of the Cardinal Bimbo．Have mercy on us，brothers．
Thirdly，my official duty。――I commenced to be a little busy，on account of the exhibitions to be kept the next year．I shall probably be out the whole of this year for collection．
Fourthly，My study．――I am now very much interested in evolution．I want to have many books if my finances allow．I shall be very much obligedt o Miyabe if he can dispose his Descent and Darwinism to me at liberal prlces．If you pick up from book-stores，cheap books on evolution，Miyabe，be kind enough to keep them for me．I think，the Bible can be beautifully explained by Evolution．May I be able to show that Evolution is not atheistic，but a grand theme of the Almighty God，whose plan extends for eternity，and remains the same through all ages．
Hand is now tired，and I must stop here．Can you Miyabe write such a long letter tome？ I gave you FOUR letters last year，and you gave me but one．You，Busho！ Temperament is not good excuse．Busy？ So amI．You，Dekomaru，though you are near-sighted，your eyes are as usual．Answer me to this letter，and greatly oblige and comfort．
Your beloved Brotherin body and soul，
JON．K．UCHIMURA．
Do not forget，
Ota，to present my best regards to your father．How is your eyes now？ I am daily praying for your recovery．Be strong，serve the Lord，look to heaven！
(30) Miyabe，to present my special regards to your mother，brotber，two sisters，and Mr．Uemura．Mr．Utzumi coxcomb，presents his regard to you．How is Nakajima？
To Ota，
I herewith send you 25 yen，from which I wish you would pay to 青年会 for the subscription of 六合雑誌 this year．Order it to be forwarded to Yamashita，Ay．College．The paper is for church purpose．
6.50 To college．
.30 Rent．
.20 Postage．
30−7.00＝23 remainder．
Of 85 sen which I owe you，I paid 40 sen to a college servant to whom you owe on account of washing your cIothes．AIso 40 sen more for transportation of a small baggage forwarded to you from your native province，5 sen remaining which I will pay in Devils' fat，afterward．
1月30日 【宮部金吾宛 東京】
Jan．30th，1882．
Sapporo．
Dear Frank：
Only a few days ago I wrote to Ota and you a very long letter．If I were to write you all about Sapporo and myself，a volume will not be sufficient．But our authorities on letter writing (31)recommend us to be short in business letters，one of which kind is the present communication to you．
I sent a promissory note to Mr．Hiraiwa to pay to him till the 1st of February，the sum of 13 yen for the sake of improving 六合雑誌．I used all my energy to persuade our brethren in Sapporo to contribute as much as they can，and in doing this，I must confess，I had a pretty hard time．And this not without reasons．You know the present financial pressure of ALL the members of the church；you know，We had to contribute regularly 1−2 yen a month for our church-purposes．Besides these，about 40 yen were used for the sake of our brethren and a sister who have been in needy！ About the same time，came contribution for the monument of Mr．Ideta．Mr．Tsujimoto does not pay his debt to the church，and our expenses are unexpectedly great．To tell the truth，we are in great financialdistress．I herewith send you 12 yen，wishing you to hand this sum to the Treasury of T．Y．C．A．Tell them about our condition，and though it may seem to them the addition of only one yen will fulfil our promise．Yet at present，I cannot do so．We have done all what we could，and I wish you be kind enough to communicate the depth of my heart to the Association．Tell them that we want to assist our sister-society with all our power，and if the members of that dear Association forgive us of our too trifle a contribution，we shall be under very great obligation to them．
Our association is growing in importance gradually．At present there are many new attendants and I think，we can do much good by this means．This day（30th inst．）it is reported that the opening ceremony of a New Society caued 北海講学会 is kept．The nominal project of this society is to teach Hokkaido people in sciences；but their true motives seem to be to propagate arbitrary (32)views on government affairs and，also to speak against Christianity．Its principal members are the most anti-Christian students of the college，and some graduates（all unbelievers！）and many prominent officers and citizens．Christians are not allowed for its membership．Mr．S．S．――however is its member．I cannot see the reason，because the society keeps its meetings on Sundays．His attendance in church on Sundays are very irregular．The society seems to stand in direct opposition to our Y．M．C．A．Daniel Defoe is right in saying．
“Wherever God erects a house of prayer，
The Devil always builds a chapel there；
And it will be found upon examination，
The latter has the largest congregation．”
Come，you little Mills，embryo Spencer，inconspicuous Buckle．You intend to disprove Christianity by Science．What？ By Science？ By what Science？ By Botany？ We have your counterpart in Tokio，who will soon return to unite with us．By Astronomy？ We have your match．If you come in the name of Vogt，and Moleschott，we will answer in Herschel，Young，and Brown．By history？ We have one to answer you，who though now in illness of sight，will soon return to combat with you．By evolution and materialism？ Though ignorant，there are few who can answer your common-sense objections．By Chemistry，by Mathematics，by Philosophy？ Come，COme，from our S．Y．C．A．stage，we will give our return discharges．Let us all hail for the establishment of this materialist's（too big word）society．“He that wrestles with us strengthens our nerves，and sharpens our skill．Our antagonists are our helpers”says Ed．Burke．You，Frank，sharpen your armor of［半角の空白］faith，and aid us in our interesting battles．Watch the end，and see where the victory falls．
(33) Books，Books，Books！ Ye are our essential weapons in our present warfare．I Jonathan，wish you Francis，to buy for me either Mivart's Genesis of Species or Lubbock's Origin of Civilization，preferably the former．I am now very poor，and cannot forward you the money till the time of my next salary．Can you dispose of your Schmidt and if you can，by how much？
Here I must end my business letter．I shall not say this time about your negligence in letter writing．But allow me to add，Mr．Miyabe，that I have forwarded you already SIX letters（this inclusive），and received only ONE，and but ONE for return．Keep in mind，I am in earnest when writing this．Mr．Katayama has not favored me in any letter since about 3 months ago．I cannot think of the reason．Am I a forlorn this year？ A very comfortless year，it is true．We have driven away our servant，and Fujita and myself are cooking our own food．Poor in money，poor in letters，and poor in favor．God grant that I am poor in spirit also．Just returned from journey yesterday；wll start very soon again．
JON．K．UCHIMURA．
The remainder till the next time．
―――――――――――――
（After writing the other）．
Jan．30th，1882．
Dear Kaboten：
To-day is a holiday，and the post office is closed．
Your letter of only two pages arrived this afternoon，and with great joy and thankfulness，I read it over and over again．It gave me a very great comfort，to remember that I am in your (34)bosom as usual，and to be informed of your healthy spirit and body．Your account of my father has impressed me with fervent hope and gratitude，and what shall I say but this，that I am growing more and more in faith in God and his Son，Jesus Christ？ Please to visit him，if you had opportunity．Tell him my feeling．Tell him that my constant prayer is that he will no more return to the rigid Confucianism．
This day，I went to hear the speeches of 北海講学会．The audience was about 200，but the speeches，I judge，were not of first class．丸山，a preacher once in Hakodate is its principal manager．He does not come to the church，and is entirely inclined to unbelief．Is not Sapporo wanting in Judas Ischariot？ A few hints were given against religion but not much at present．
I am going to Shikudzushi（2 ries from Otaru）to-morrow for observing cod-fishery．It is very interesting．Specimens abundant，dissections free，and many interesting facts are to be learned from practical fishermen．Intend to stay there about a week．
I am now cooking my own food with Fujita．We found that it requlres at present about 8 yen a month when we hire a servant．Hiroi was the first to put forward the opinion of self-cooking，and next day，he removed to our church building，and is there cooking a dirty meal．His method of boiling rice is said to be as follows：First take a donabe，put a handful or two of raw rice（without washing）into it，and push in a heap of snow upon it，because it is too troublesome to use water．Then place a mass of miso upon the snow，put the whole upon the fire，and all is ready．Busho，――Busho！ Adachi is wide in society．He is now eating with the 中村 family．
Imagine brother，Nu※［uに長音記号］and myself，standing before our little stove，With a pan upon it，whose contents are bony tekkui，――with no benches，but standing，cold rice，dirty utensils，promised to (35)wash them only once in four days．Too low condition for officers o 30 yen，you may say 銭取ル病ト死ヌ病−to have money，We must work hard．Tell Ota that though we have driven away our servant，we will give him no inconvenience when he will return to us．
Much thanks for your constant endeavor to assist me by getting good books for my sake．I know not how to express my gratitude to you，but by my deepest feeling for your usual love for such an unworthy one as myself．Brother，if I can see you now face to face，at least 3 days will be sufficient to talk to you about my present condition．Among the joys and comforts，I am not wanting in troubles．Looked upon as an adulterer by the public on account of my intervention in marrlage matters of Mr．A．and as an envying friend of the conjugal mates，I had to struggle pretty hard for the obliteration of such public opinion．I have determined not to speak any thing about that matrimony，――for it has been inconveniences both to him and myself．But God knows my hearts，and I know that I was working with pure conscience．Church matters are very perplexing．I am in condition not to separate myself from its official affairs．I must not murmur，but to you，my dear brother，I confess that at present about the hardest of all church business comes upon myself．I am eating the hardest kernel．The same may be said of S．Y．M．C．A．I know that I am working for the sake of God；but dear Francis，you know me better than any other．You know the amount of my ability，Of my knowledge，and of my age．To these，is added another trouble with regard to the matters of Fishery Exhibition of the next year．It may be that I shall withdraw myself entirely from that matter，for which I have long been anticipating．God made men of different characters，and though all are His children，it is better，if possible，that only those who have the same character will work together．I have already tasted the same in the con(36)structions of the Horse-Skeleton．Looking on one side，everything is dark and misty．I know not what will be my future．Whether I be afisherman of Hokkaido，or a fisherman of Galilee，I cannot tell．The will of God be done．Ah！ brotber，I am now alone，sitting before my lamp（10 1/2 P．M．），thinking of preparation for to-morrow's journey．Your image is now vivid before my eyes．Let your ever brightening countenances cheer my heart．Ever remember that I am always open to you．May God help you in the execution of your task，and take you safely to me，healthyln body，and in splrit，full of hope，unfeigned in love．I lose no opportunity to pray for you．Do the same，for my sake．Write me frequently at your leisure，and let me know of you and your family more．
Your ever beloved brotherin Christ，
JON．K．UCHIMVRA．
Best regards to your good brother，two sisters，and your beloved mother and all your family．――Tell Mr．Katayama and Mr．Ito that when I went this mornlng to my office，I found their kind letters in my chests．Tell them that I were filled with joy by them．Will write to them after returned home．
3月21日 【宮部金吾殿 東京下谷徒士町 札幌南二条西六丁目十二番地 耶蘇教講義所ニテ 内村鑑三】
Mch．21st，1882，
Sapporo．
Dear Brother Miyabe：
Some days ago I wrote to Ota that I have determined not to write you any more until you (37)give yours regularly．Brotber，forgive me．I was wrong in that respect．“Do to another as you would have another do to you”is the fundamental doctrine of our dear Religion，and since inexpressible joy and consolation come to my heart when I receive your kind letters，I am certain that you feel the same on the same occasion．I will continue to write you at least once a month，though you do not favor me with your letter．O，how impatient am I to receive one from you！ Every announcement of the arrival of the mail brings hope to my mind，and I hurry to the post-office to see your letter．But，alas！ I must always return in disappointment．Have you not，dear chum，promised me while I was with you in Tokio，that you will write me at least once a month？ But where is your promise？ It may be that you are very busy，and you have no time．If that be the case，simply a postal card will be sufficient．But simply let me know whether you have received my letters or not．Some of my previous letters are of great importance not only to myself，but to the church at large，and I being responsible for the same，am very much troubled on account of your silence．I do not care whether you will write me long letters or not，but brother，have mercy enough to answer me as soon as possible in the following matters．
1．Have you received a telegram from me about money to buy a present to Mr．Harris？
2．How that was done？
3．Have you received a draft of 12 yen to be donated to the T．Y．M．C．A．？
4．Have you received a postal card from me，in which I requested you to subscribe some medical paper（Japanese）for Dr．Cutter for this year？
5．Mr．Oshima also wants to know whether you have received another draft from him or not．
If you are busy enough to inform me about these，I shall be very much obliged to you if you
(38)be kind enough to ask your brother to do the same for me．May long friendsbip between us prompt you to favor your brotber in Hokkaido with a short answer to this letter．I am sure that I am still remembered by you，though you do not seem to grant my frequent requests to you．I remember you frequently in my prayer，and this letter，though not very agreeable for you to read，is intended to be a token of my unceasing love and remembrance of you．O！ how happy I shall be if I can receive answers to my letters promptly and punctually！ You may laugh at my impatience，but I am writing now with sincere regret and disappointment．
Some time ago I wrote to you and Bro．Ota about the money to be returned to Mr．Davison．I received an answer from Ota，but not from you．Now all of us except Mr．Takagi agreed to pay，each 14 yen，till the 20th of October．We are all very poor，but on account of necessity，we are compelled to do our best．I hereby request you，brother，in the name of Sapporo Christian Church，to unite with us in contributing the said amount to the church treasury，during 7 months，――April to October，――paying regularly 2 yen a month，or at once．If it be convenient，you may pay the sum of 14 y．for some biologlcal works which you think profitable for me to obtain，and then I shall pay that amount to the Treasury here from my pocket．If there be no inconvenience on your part，I will be very much obliged to you if you would be kind enough to take the latter course．
I heard that you bought some books from Mr．Harris，and I am very sorry that I could not obtain some．The books I mostly want to have are of Religio-Scientific kind，and if you can find some bearing similar topics，be kind enough to get some for me．Money I can send you at any time．
How is my father getting on？ Is he still faithful in his church-attendance？ I wrote to him (39)that whenever he has any difficulty about cburch-matters or those pertaining to religious instruction，he may go to you，and consul twith you as with his son．Be kind enough to look for him，and though it may be very troublesome for you，I wish you to treat him according to his need and circumstance．
Mr．Ito got a son one week ago．The name of the babe is 信一．He is a strong child，and Ito and his family are very glad to have a male child．When and who will be the next child-bearer？ Adachi？ He may，but my physiologlcal hypothesis is that he will have a female child．Ask Ota about his opinion．The want of a good Christian lady is strongly felt now in Sapporo．The work is very hopeful．Sunday-schooIs are attended by large members of boys and girls，and though we can easily manage the former，it is very difficult with regard to the latter．To make bellies distended is not the only duty of women，and then what do you think of marrying“will be”wife or indolent，in active worker？ Very much more to be written，but these till the next time．
Your beloved in Christ，
JON．K．UCHIMURA．
4月12日 宮部金吾宛 東京 〔もと英文〕
一八八二年四月十二日，札幌にて
愛する兄弟
太田に托してくれた親切な手紙多謝。すぐ返事を書きたかつたが，明日また東部海岸ぞいの旅行に出かけるため用事に追われているので，たゞ簡単に君の親切を感謝するだけに止めなければならない。君の事は太田からたくさんに聞いた。(40)僕の旅行は室蘭から十勝まで二十五日ほどの予定である。
僕の父の信仰は引きつづき進歩しているだろうか。ドーカ君の｜親戚〔付ごま圏点〕として世話してやつてくれ給え。今は感想をのべていられない。たゞ君の想像にまかせる。
医学雑誌の購入手続ありがとう。しかし残念ながらまだ一冊もつかない。ドーカ事情をしらべてくれ給え。代金は君あて弟から直ぐに送る。
君の友なる
ヨナタン・ケー・内村
4月12日 宮部金吾宛 東京下谷徒士町 〔もと英文〕
一八八二年四月十二日，札幌南二条十二番地にて
愛する宮部君
ハガキをしたゝめている間に事情が変つて，僕の出発を十四日に延ばす事になつた。それ故《医事新報》の予約購読料の領収証に対し三円七十五銭を同封で送る。カッター博士は，僕と共に，君の親切に対し心から感謝している。しかし残念ながら同誌はまだ着かない。それ故君に為替と一しょに領収証を返送して，定期的に送られて来ない原因を君に調べてもらいたいと思う。そして原因が分つたら，モー一度受取り証を送り返えしてくれ給え。そうすればカッター博士から代金を受け取れるから。
兄弟太田に托して送つてくれた書籍有りがとう。一円二十八銭は直ちに君の名で教会の会計係へ渡す。札幌キリスト教青年会の会員は君に心からよろしくと僕に言づてし，教会の図書室への君の犠牲的寄付に対し非常な喜びを示している。
旅行から帰つたら暇を見て手紙を書く。
キリストにあつて君の友なる
ヨナタン・ケー・内村
(41) 君のお母さん，姉さんがた，兄さんがた及び御家族一同にくれぐれもよろしく。
6月15日 【宮部金吾殿行 東京下谷徒士町 札幌 内村鑑三】
Sapporo，15th，June，'82．
Sap．Holiday
Dear Brother Miyabe：
It has been along time since I wrote to you．As you know I made a very long journey along the eastern coasts for the collection of articles to be exhibited to our Fishery Exhibition next year．The trip was one of unusual interest inasmuch as it gave me much experience with official matters，and also ample opportunity to study the human Nature．The physical nature was also endlessly beautiful．When I started Sapporo，I had to go over about 2-3 ft．depth of snow．I left the basin of the Ishikari valley，and at once I had the virgin Spring．Galloplng on poor Hokkaido steeds，I soon found myself in the peninsula of Mororan．There I got the first sight of flowers and blossoms，and more than all，was greatly pleased with the melodies of nightingales abundant in these regions．It would be too long to give a full description of my travel．Snow-white Magnolia contrasted with crimson-red buds of Cercidiphyllum，two species of Primula（which I now send to you，as I consider them to be different from that common in Sapporo）adorning the stillsterile passages of mountains，dark-green hills in Samani and Horoidzumi thickly covered with Yesso-pines，are among those fresh enchantments which I can derive from my study in Botany．Roarlng snipes，melodious thrashes，tiny muscicapa（2 species），blue-birds，and red-breast were my charms in Ornithology．Sea abounded (42)with flowery Coelenterata，Actinizoa and Echinodermata was endlessly beautiful． but，while the physical Nature was thus emphatically splendid，full，and complete，that most exalted part of Nature called human nature，was in my sight，corrupt，degraded，and I can say positively，brutal．Buddhism and Prostitution are two inseparable associates found everywhere in my journey．Deception was common in hotels，駅逓，and even in village offices．We can see the corruptions everywhere in our country，but to feel and have experience with its most degraded forms，there is，I think，no place so favorable as Hokkaido．
The journey ended favorably，thougb after much difficulties．Exposure to one of the strongest storms ever occurred in Hokkaido（5th，May）did me much injury．With exaltation I reached my dear home，and scarcely had I time to eat my supper when my left lung got in strong congestion．I thought at first to be simply a result of too-much exertion on riding，but at about 12 o'clock at night，it became so acute that I could breathe with great difficulty．But through the kindness of my friends and Dr．Cutter，I was able to pass the night，though with much pain．Dr．Cutter seemed to consider my disease to be rather dangerous at first，for he thought that it would pass to acute pneumonia．His care for me was ceaseless and punctual．But next day，on his evening visit he was glad to see that the result was simply a localized pneumonia．Still I had to endure acute pain for 5 successive days，but thanks to God，I am now perfectly well．I stayed in bed for 23 days．Think brother what would have been my fate had I returned Sapporo half day later！ Suppose disease struck me at Simamatzu，and with no physician，no friend to see me，you can easily conceive my case．But God's way is wonderful．My prayer，and these of my relations and friends were not in vain，and I was saved．Thanks be to God！
(43) My present official position is loatbsome，oppressive，unsatisfactory and corruptive．I have almost nothing to do at present．Our head officers do not know the utility of science．They consider those men useful who can use their tongues and pens skillfully．We the Christian officers in Sapporo-Ken are great stumbling-blocks to the oppressive and arbitrary administration of 県．Men with pure conscience，high aspiration after truth and honesty，cannot endure sucb．Do not consider me mad or lover of novelty and cbange，for I can tell you the facts afterward．I must go to Tokio this autumn to consider about my future．――Wish to study honest Science？ Away with SapporoKen！ Wish to propagate Christianity？ Away with officialdom！ 30 yenis too much for doingnothing officers．
I regret much that I was not able to hear Joseph Cook．I have been very much interested in his Biology which I bought in Hakodate．I heard Mr．Ishikawa is golng to speak against him．I am very much oblied to you if you send me Mr．Ishikawa's opinion if you can．My principal study since I came here last autumn was the relation of Biology to Christianity．My favorite authors are Lionel Beale，Dr．Carpenter，Winchell，Dana，and Mivart on Scientific side，and Cook on the otber．“Truth like torches，the more 'tis touched，it glows．”Non-existence of souls，human-life merely complex organs，What a hopeless，base idea！ If“thought is phosphorus，the soul the complex nerves，and our moral sense a secretion of sugar”，and if such be the result of Biological study，let Biologyv be ont of wrorld：it is too destructive to society．
I am now very poor，because I must send to my home regularly since this month．So，if you have already bought any books for me，please not to buy any more for I can not perhaps pay you．Please to send your cash directly to our church-treasury．
(44) Shall I continue more？ About our church，and its members，very interesting．
Y our beloved brotherin Christ，
JON．K．UCHIMURA．
Best regards to your mother，brother，sisters，and all――to-day is Sap．Holiday．Very noisy．2 dancing vehicles．I spoke last night rather forcibly against idol-worship at our regular church meeting．
Is my father still faithful？ Please to look after him as after your father．Write me if you have time．
11月23日 【宮部金吾殿 東京下谷徒士町 札幌 内村鑑三】
Nov．23rd，'82．
Sapporo．
Dear Chum of Four Years：
Much thanks for your letter sent by Mr．Wada．Very interesting，invigorating，and touching．Glad that you are ever faithful in your work．Am praying for you regularly．Sundays and Wednesdays are my special prayer days for your sake．
The year 1882 has been a travelling year for me．I travelled till this day about 300 ri along the coasts，and the rivers．Had I not been troubled with disease this sprlng，I would have been able to travel more than600 ri，I think．The day-before-yeSterday I returned from Ishikari，the last trip，I think，for this year．And what a charm to be out for more than a quarter of a year！ (45)I have been thus far impressed with the idea that Hokkaido is wanting in good sceneries．But，you，whose hours of recreations will pass under the dark shades of pines on the beautiful hills of Uyeno，or on the flowery banks of Sumida；you，whose ideas are hightened under the civilized influence of learned men and societies，and whose spirit is invigorated with the preachings of eloquent speakers，and consoled with the loving voice of mother；I say，you under such conditions，can have but little idea about my hours of recreation，my intellectual and spiritual schooIs under which I have been trained during this year．Sometimes on a top of a hill，casting my eyes southward，over a range of undulating hills uniformly mantled with a green sheet of bamboo variegated with crimson Cercidiphyllum；sometimes，as when plying upon the placid water of the VoIcano Bay，uplifting my eyes upon the snowy peak of Shiri-Beshi-Dake；on the ruggy rocks of Takashima，peeping into crevices to notice the movements of tiny marine creatures；on the summit of Inao-Toge to take a bird-eye view of the autumnal scene of the Yoichi Valley，――my limbs were strengthened，my intellect broadened，my spirit purified，and my soul invigorated，and repeating as I went，that famous words of John Gay，which he put into the mouth of a philosopher talking to a“farm-Sage”：
Pride often guides the author's pen；
Books as affected are as men；
But he who studies Nature's laws，
From certain truth his maxims draws；
And those，without our schooIs，suffice
To make man moral，good，and wise．
The year 1882 is almost near its end．
(46) The most interesting work upon which I engaged myself，this year，is an experiment upon the reproduction of Haliotis Japonicus（アハビ）．You know this is a very important question both scientifically，and practically．I learned many things new to me，（and I believe new to the world）．I have in my disposal a microscope，and other necessary apparatus．The Government furnishes me with sufficient pecuniary means，and Mr．Dzusho agreed to continue experiments at least for 3 years．May He，whose works we are seeking with earnest prayers，may reveal to me His secrets，which He has kept unexplained until this day．Many of difficult questions with regard to salmon and other fisheries have been carefully attended to，and I have now many facts on hands，which I can report to the Fishery Society，this winter．
Fishing on the sea has been a success so far．But“Fishing of Men”，that grand privilege which I have enjoyed during little time I had left out of my official hours，has been blessed with due fruit．Last night，committees have met together for the consultation of our future work，and has estimated that in the coming Christmas，at least 15 new meals must be provided in addition to the number present last year．15 new comers，already to join our community！ A small number you may say．It is．But，brother，consider what kind of men we are，and how helpless and solitary have we been！ Thanks be to Him who has ever been on our side to assist us！ The Church debt is now to be paid back．The contribution this year，probably not much below 400 yen．
You wrote me about your noble plan to stand up in defence of the Cross in the name of Science．Bravo！ Brother！ The same has been my object．Let us now in our youth，put on the whole armour of God，girt about our loins with truth，shod our feet with gospels of peace，and when the time come，let us stand up with vigor and spirit，and carry onward the unconquerable (47)“Way of Christ”，Whose holy hand uplifts in its center its characteristic sign of CROSS；and you，（and may I be also，）guarding this holy sign with the ramparts of knife，scalpel，and microscope，can keep at distance those barking“children of man”，who under a weak and friable guidance of such names as Hackel，Buchner，Tyndal，Spencer，etc.,（themselves mortal，）are trying to disgrace the“Holy of Holies”．My leisure hours are spent by studying works on Biology，and I intend to buy some more books this year，when I go to Tokio．
Now to turn to our friend affairs．Adachi，swallowed by his wife，most say，−always in home with his new bride．Uchida，secretly marrying，is waiting for the arrival of his bride．
For the remainder，wait till I see you，which will be about the Christmas this winter．
Your most beloved，
JON．K．UCHIMURA．
To your witty mother，kind sisters，gentle brother，my hearty regard．
Do not laugh at the awkward English of a Hokkaido fiserman．Please to ask Sakuma，whether he has sreceived a telegram from me or not．If not，please to tell him that I want to have papers with his stamps on，for I lost those he left me，as soon as possible．
12月20日 足立・藤田・大島・内田宛
Hakodate，
Dec．20th，1882．
Messrs．Adachi，Fujita，Oshima，and Uchida：
(48)Dear Brothers：
Leaving Otaru at 1 P．M．on the 14th，we reached here after very hard voyage of 32 hrs．I vomited 5 times while John was perfectly healthy．But everything was all right．Soon after our arrival here，we visited our Christian friends．We first met Mr．and Mrs．Green，two green workers from America．He commenced to yawn before us，with very little talk，about their“all-right”system of evangelization；sO We left him at once，and went to Mr．Squier．The latter treated us little better，but not with Christian brothership；so we left him also at once．Then went to Mr．Andrews．He was more interested with us than either of the above gentlemen．He talked much，gave us tracts and a book and promised us to call on him agaln．Mr．Narita is as active as usual，and Mr．Ogawa is aiways very eccentric．They were very glad to hear of our proposal．
The Hakodate Methodists are soundly sleeping，and dreaming many strange dreams．The interior js full of disturbances，petty strifes，and general coolness．The girl-school is working very badly，and its teachers are extremely cold and insulting toward us．I was disappointed to observe such brothers．Six splendid buildings belonging to M．E．Chuurch，in which are residing drones，separated from the congregations，and proud，and delicate！ We two went into tears when we carried our thoughts to our dear church in Sapporo！ Our finances，how poor！ Our Church building，how dirty and small！ But let us not envy them．Their church buildings indeed are more beautiful，commodious，and convenient，but the “church” is small，cold，and disagreeable．
I called on Squier on the afternoon of 19th，and
〔以下欠〕
(49) 一八八三年（明治一六年） 二三歳
1月6日 太田稲造宛 札幌農学校
Tokio，Jan．6th，'83．
Brother Ota：
Happy new year to you．How are you going on？ Do not use your eyes too much during the vacation．Met your father，all very well．He is active as usual．I entered into very close conversation with him about Sap．Ag．College and Hokkaido．He was much excited，and promised me to make anohler meeting to consult about the same subject．As to the salmon which I was ordered to present your father，I am very sorry to say that I was able to bring only one to your home．During voyage rats made great injury to the salmon bags，and thus decreased the number of those which can be utilized as presents；and on this account I had to distribute them rather differently from what I expected to do．Please to excuse me．The fish was unexpectedly large ones，and all are very glad to receive them，especially because they were caught in the ground to which I have great relation．The same has been the condition with regard to Mr．Fujita's present，and I wish you to tell him my same apology．
Is my brother obedient to you？ Be kind enough，brother，to look after him，notwithstanding (50)his craziness and general want of intellect．
Many things I have already to tell you；but wait till my return．How is your spiritual welfare？ We are always longing to hear from you about tbat matter．May God clear away your doubts，and bring you to the light and satisfaction in Jesus Christ，Our Lord．
Your beloved friend，
JON．K．UCHIMURA．
長足拝ス
謹賀年之新
在札幌 問苦先生
2月19日 【藤田九三郎殿行 北海道札幌 東京小石川上富坂町 内村鑑三】
Tokio，Feb．19，1883．
My Dear Friend，Mr．Fujita：
Before describing anything which I have seen and l heard in Tokio，I must express my sincere gratitude to you for your kindness in looking after my brother．His usual slowness together with his little ability to conform with others，must be of great trouble to you，and must tax your patience considerably．But believing in your kindness and love for me，I do not care much for my brother；and for future all what I can do for him is to ask the supervision of you and other brethren upon him．My parents join with me in sending our best thanks to you．
You all are very happy in Sapporo we think．Here in Tokio，we Sapporo Christians are received kindly by many of the best Christians．We are pretty active，visiting all the different (51)churches in Sundays to study their conditions and the forms of their government．The Sapporo church is very well spoken of，and many are expecting for the future prospect in the labors of the Sapporo Youngmen．You，being the treasurer of our cburch，will be much interested in the financial condition of different churches．The Asakusa Church having the congregation of 200，contribute about 18 yen a month；that under the care of Mr．Uemura contribute about 10 yen on average from about 30，which is the best contribution of all the Tokio churches．Methodists ＆ Episcopalians seem to be very low in this respect．Many admire the procedure of the Sapporo Church and our frequent“preaching on Sapporo Union Church”did not a little to stir the zeal of Tokio Christians in the direction of Independence．
How are you all going on？ Console Oshima not to disappoint in his work；urge Adachi to take up the pulpit work；and persuade Uchida to use his talent and eloquence freely．Let us all work，for our responsibility is grand．
Hiroi came recently to Tokio，and is as usual grappling to strike some gold-vein，and daily and nightly building up many air-castles．I cannot understand his procedure very well．Some brethren are very busy in hunting up something（inverted m）．Zealous，adventurous，exceedingly bold in this affair．Frequent failures do not disappolnt them，but urge them the more to accomplish their object．
Recently，we brought the matter of our promise made to Kaitakushi，before the best lawyers，who gave us his opinion as to our responsibility in this matter．His 鑑定 is that lawfully we are inexcusable，and must fulfill our promise under any department to which the old Kaitakushi disposed us．Please to inform this to others．
(52) I called on your home twice and had much interesting talk upon Religion with your father．He is a fine and earnest Christian．
Being very busy，please to excuse me for this very short letter．
Yours in Christ，
JON．K．UCHIMRA．
Please to tell Mr．Hasebe：−His prospect with regard to 水産博覧会 is failure，because our 出品 is too little，and we require no special men to guard them．−I am very sorry for him，but I cannot help．Much thanks for his care for the Church，for my brother．
3月20日 【太田稲造殿行 北海道札幌農学校ニテ 三月二十日夜十時発ス】
About Keisei-sha I report as follows．About 200 shares have alreadv been raised in Tokio，and about 100 in 神戸 and its vicinity．When the number reach 600，the work will be commenced．Messrs Kozaki，Uemura，and Takemura will be the chief writers．−The reason why I deferred the writing about the Society to Sapporo，is because I wanted to know more about the spirit and internal affairs of the same．You see that all the advocators and supporters of the society（except myself）are churchmen wbo are mostly poor，and we had but little prospect for the successful procedure of the work．Indeed I was appointed to take all the matters with regard to the Sapporo Brethren，and I take great pleasure to hear that you are now so much excited with this noble plan．I now send you several copies of 仮規則 which I wish you to distribute among the Christian brothers．I must ask the sincere pardon of you all in deferring to write you about this important (53)matter．I am much enjoyed not so much in public business as in my own affair which consists“in due consideration how，when， and WHERE will I be most useful both for Christ and for country”．As soon as shares are collected，please to forward the same to me．−Called on your home last Thursday；all well．
Yours，
JON．K．UCHIMURA．
4月22日 太田稲造宛 札幌
Tokio，Apr．22nd，83．
Brotber Paul：
To-day is Sunday，and I must be short．Two days ago Fujita came to us and we were all much comforted to meet him and to hear about the welfare of you and your fellows in Sapporo．Thanks be to God，I am all well here．I have heard something of your present position，and am exceedingly sorry for your case．But“there is Divinity which shapes our end，rough hew it how we may”．My position is as much confused as that of yours，and though every thing is dark and hopeless，I take joy and peace in Him who taught me that even every one of myh airs is counted．After much consideration I came to the conclusion that I had better remain in Tokio sometime at least，and a little improve myself．What I fear most is not the poverty which will come upon me inevitably，nor the ill-health which will be my great obstacle in attaining my deserved end，but a business which I believe，was intrusted upon me；i.e. the church-work in Sapporo．The corruptions (54)of the officers in KEN，little partiality，and want of opportunity of studyin Sapporo，repel me；but that hearty friendship firmly nit together after the mutual contact of more than 5 yrs，together with the little tabernacle from which I poured my faithless sermons，attract me exceedingly．Hatred and love，enemy and friend，−which is stronger，repulsion or attraction？ For more than 100 days I have been tormented with this momentous question，and though the solution in not yet fully finished，the proposition seems to bear a little weight upon the side of repulsion，not because I love the Sapporo Brotbers，less，but because I love Sapporo more．To-day，I am golng to present my resignation to Mr．Sato，who is now in Tokio．He has already accepted my request，and Mr．Hosokawa also．
Thousand thanks for your great kindness in teaching my brother．My parents join with me in presenting their gratitude to you．
Carlyle's Misc．Essays I will give them up to you，and will send them to you with Mr．Tanouchi．I should have given them to you，but my present circumstances compel me to ask you 2 yen for them．The orlglnal price was 2.50 yen．I read them but little．Please to give the money to Mr．Oshima as my two montbs' contribution to the Church．
Tanouchi married the day before yesterday．He will go to you by the next ship with his wife．
Yours in God，
JON．K．UCHIMURA．
4月22日 札幌友人諸氏宛 札幌
(55) Tokio，April 22nd，1883
Dear Brethren of Sapporo：
Greeting！ I Jonathan K．U．hereby inform you that one of our well-beloved brethren has done something which I think you hear with surprise．“Vacant vessels sound the most”said Shakespeare．You have heard something about little rumours which rage around most of our friends when they are going to hunt out wife；but a well-filled vessel seems to be exceedingly quiet in such a serious matter．When all attention was directed toward the secret movements of others，when every thing was peace and scientific in his behaviour，when his usual calm temperament was absorbed in roots，leaves and flowers，−ay，when he seemed to be perfectly innocent in W matters，a well-decided information came from him that he has already made an espousal with good Christian lady，strong in character，versed in Literature and competent in spiritual work．He was，and has been since，perfectly honest and used no privacy in this matter，and he candidly requested me to write about it to our Sapporo brethren．I heartily rejoice with him for his good future in finding out such an unprocurable mate，and should we not，brothers，all pray for the unbroken nuptial union，which he proposes，however，to postpone till about 4 yrs．later．But who is he？ you may ask．He is a fat gentleman，specialist in weeds and logs，and well known under various nicknames，such as Shaboten，Dekomaru，etc．
By the special request of him，
I remain，
JON．K．UCHIMURA．
(56) 4月□日 【広井勇宛 東京より〔もと英文〕】
……………、
友よ、余は近来余の宗教に就て新らしき観念を得、以前に此して一層の歓喜を感じつゝあり、余が基督教に関する従来の見解は変ぜられて、更に新たなる光明の余が上に輝けるなり、余は深く従来の信仰の条理と行為との誤れるを悔ゐ、今は只わが信の増さんことをのみ神に祈りつゝあり、オヽ、余は速に君と相見えて、此霊の祝福を頒たんことを切に望む。宗教は理屈にあらず、又哲学にもあらず、吾人が脆弱なる人間の推論を以て之を説かんと試むる時は、必ず失望と無益なる神学論とに陥らざることなし、余は信ず、聖書は吾等自身に依つては解し得べからざることを、実に吾等が聖書の真の意味を解し得るは、専ら神の聖霊に依るものなることを。
5月5日 宮部金吾宛〔もと英文〕
一八八三年五月五日、東京小石川にて
大親陸会の講演準備をほゞ終つたので、明日午後君に会いたいと思う。君の家で二時ごろ会えるだろうか。その時植村君に会えれば非常に好都合である。というのは、札幌県をやめてからの僕の職業の件が、ある思いがけない「事件」（物質的にではなく）によつてウマクはこんでいるので、その事を君と同君に告げたいのである。
ヨナタン・ケー・内村
5月24日 【宮部金吾宛 下谷区徒士町 小石川上富坂町 内村鑑三】
(57) May 24，1883．
Dear Bro．in Christ，
Since last Sunday，I feel myself a new born man．God's love，I can now truly appreciate．Christ's cross and blood are reasonable and precious．As for me，that night was a climax of joy since I came to this world．Very，very much thanks for your consolation and exhortation．But，my body is very weak．I intend to go to Atami soon．
Coming Saturday at 2 P.M. we youngmen of Faith（工部大学生徒，etc.）are going to hold a prayer meeting at 新栄会堂，and we must have you in the same．Can you not sacrifice your Botanical meeting for this sake？ Come and see me in your leisure，and I will tell you some precious truth．
JON．K．UCHIMURA．
5月28日 【太田稲造子行】 四ツ谷タンス町 五、廿八 小石川上富坂町 内村大君】
Dear fellow from the Land of Amos：
Thank God for His Mercy upon thee．I intended to start for Atami to-day；but circumstances compelled me to postpone till Thursday．I must see thee as soon as possible．I will go to thee tomorrow morning at nine，and thou shouldst stay in thy home at the time．
Is it thy intention to surprise us by thy sudden visit on me？ Fu！ Before thy feet was in the Sapporo Station，I knew thy proposal．For what purpose hast thou come？ For hunting something？ Games are almost exhausted if it be thy purpose．Thou art now my only bachelor friend，and if thou wouldst become my enemy，I am disappointed．
(58) At any rate，Wait for me to-morrow at 9A.M.
Yours sincerely，
JONATHAN K．U．
5月31日 【宮部金吾殿行 下谷徒士町 親々殿 小石川上富坂 内村鑑三】
Tokio，
May 31st，'83．
Dear Brotherin Cllrist：
How bis thy health？ Take best care of it．In thee put I my trust．If thou art unwell，I am unwell．We are one，in Christ，in Spirit，in object，and in heart；and if any portion of thine is unwell，the impulse is transmitted to meimmediately．We want to be strong，not because we can thereby enjoy health and prosperity in this world，but because we wish to work for the Glory of Christ．Our education is above the average in the Christian Society．Our responsibility is immense．A part of my daily prayers is as fokkows：
My Lord，My God，My heavenly Father：If it be Thy will，restore my health．My present illness is the result of my manifold sins，and I have no right to ask Thee for recovery．But Thou art the Merciful Father，and to Thy Mercy alone，I look for help．My body is now Thine，and whether it will grow strong or crumble to dust is in Thy will，and I will not murmur．But Father，consider my heart．Heretofore，I have been workihg，mainly，if not wholly，for my own glory and honor，and as such my works worth nothing．I want to serve Thee more，to promote thy Glory (59)hereafter．I have works pressing upon me，and“though my spirit wills”to do，“my flesh is”exceedingly“weak”．Thou hast power to change little stones to sons of Abraham，and hast also promised to give whatsoever Thy children ask Thee．My flesh is now far from being curable by the hand of physicians，and now the only way left for me is to go to Thee，the great Physician of both soul and body．Have mercy upon me Father．Etc．
I need not proceed more，for I believe you can look to my heart by the above short prayers．May I ask thee to pray for me also？ When I see thee again，may my body be better prepared for works pressing upon me！
One thing more I must say to thee before my departure；and that is about jokes on your connubial relation．I know that though I sin against thee，thou forgivest me，however great that sin may be．I speak jokes，you know，believing in myself that it will not harm you．But if jokes of“W”matters are loathsome to you，I will stop them at once．I do not want to harm you，to an extent however small it may be，by my useless bubblings，and you must not be shy to refrain from reproving me in such occasion；for such is friendsbip，brothership，Christianship．
God will be with thee and Ota，the dearest mates upon the earth．
Yours in Christ，
JON．K．U．
6月8日 【宮部金吾宛 東京下谷徒士町 テヅカラ開クベシ 豆州熱海富士屋方 汝愛友ヨリ】
Atami，
(60) Jun．8th，1883．
Dear Love：
Away from friends，I am now alone．No consolation，many useless vaticinations．Darwin and Winchel are my only comrades．Scenery very beautiful，fish abundant，air fresh，climate delightful．And how art thou，−thy illness？ Well already？ Am praying for you daily．And how is Bro．Ota？ The day before my departure，I entered into close conversation about his spiritual matters，and he expressed his earnest wish to be a Christian．Let us both pray for him．
Being alone，it is natural that a train of thoughts comes upon my mind continually．Repentance follows joy，the former usually exceeding thel atter．But amidst all my sorrows and pains in this world，I have an overpowering joy that I have friends which are closer than brothers，−ye，sometimes than my father and mother，−friends who weep with me and joy with me，−friends who know me better than myself．To me，this world is nothing save these friends and my close relatives．A weak crumbling body，a little nervous intellect，cannnot have any further hope in this“sensible”world．The hope and joy of Spirit are liable to be tempted and lost．Oh！ I may cry with St.Paul and say that I have a“desire to depart and to be with Christ，which is far better”．Thanks be to God，however，that my heart is not so weak and hopeless as my body．It is still warm with friendship and desires to seek Christ and His salvation．Yea！ I am taught that man's ages are not to be counted with numbers of years，but that he lives most who thinks the noblest and acts the most．Every throb of the heart adds more to the age of man than a ringing bell of one additional year．God's will，not my will，be done．
Considering about my dark future，I am lost in sorrow and disappointment，save in that coming (61)world，where
From sorrow，toil，and pain，
From sin we shall be free；
And perfect love and friendship reign，
Through all eternity．
I consider the coming of Ota to Tokio，at this very time，a special blessing of God upon me．If thou goest to Sapporo this summer，and I am left alone with none to cheer my down-cast heart，it would have been a fatal blow upon me．At present，there is none in this world so dear to me as thee．My father and mother，even，are not so well acquainted with me as thyself．I need no wife，so long as thou art with me．Thy prayers，thy advice，thy consolation worth more than all I can get in this world．It may be very hard，for thy mother and thy“dear one”to have thee sent to Sapporo at this very time；but for me it is harder still．May God keep thee till Ota be a Christian，for then he will be not only my dearest earthly friend，but a consoling angel to me．His return to Christianity is my daily prayer．May it be yours also！ Let us make ourselves a Christian triplet．Consider meek John，careless Peter，and once-doubting but bold determinate Paul．Uniformity is not God's will，and the above three each having his individual defects and advantage，−were they not the tripods of the apostles？ Can we not three act as they？ Can we not as the comrades of Sir John Herchel did put our shoulders to the wheel of the world，and leave it in a condition better than we find it？ But，stop！ We，ourselves，cannot do this，and as for me，I have but very little hope to act Peter's part．But if God will allow，let it be our ambition．Miyabe，be steadfast in thy course of study；Ota，let thy heart be opened to Christ；and My Self，−care for thy weak (62)flesh；and ALL，quench not the spirit，despise not prophesyings；prove all things．
Now TO JOKES，I mean innocent jokes．I travelled with Mr．Tsuda．He is you know a very queer gentleman．He is very excited at present．Now，at the time of his departure，he was in so much hurry that he left his“fundoshi”at home．Thus we went on．He brought TEND※［Oに長音記号］SOGEN with him saying tbat he must study something while travelling in Jinrikisha．My Jinriki went in head of his，and I went on hearing Mr．Tsuda reading his book with a loud voice．But I noticed that every passenger we meet with broke into laughter by coming near to us．At first I could not understand the reason；but being very curious，I looked behind，and lo！ I discovered the cause．Something which should be kept hidden，was exposed．Then，I broke into laughter also！ but he was senseless，reading his book as before．Thus you see a fat gentleman showed his“something”for many ries．I intended several times to speak to him；but what and how could I address him？ This is a pretty good joke，and will assist little of your digestion．But be it remembered，that Ota and thyself only can share of this pleasure．Neither thy relatives nor any one else are permitted to hear this story．
I intend to return as soon as possible，I am little better，and I hope that by staying about two weeks more，I will improve very much．Being too much in leisure I wrote such a long letter to you．You need not answer me this time．
Yours in Christ，
JON．K．UCHIMURA．
(63) 6月28日 宮部金吾殿 下谷、徒士町 〔もと英文〕
一八八三年六月二十八日、麻布学農社にて
兄弟
熱海から帰つて以来、君に会い、いつものようにわれわれの心について君と語り合いたいと願つている。僕の心は今、愛と慰めに「みち足り」、僕の今の喜びは余りに大きくて食事さえ満足にとれないほどである。僕は今、実に、｜実に〔付ごま圏点〕愛にみち、特に君が、恐らく間もなく、札幌へ行くと聞いて一しお、そう感じる
7〔左に＊あり〕月｜25〔左に＊あり〕日 【太田稲造殿 四ツ谷タンス町 アザブ 学農社内 内村】
My Pseudo-CarIyle：
Come，but not to-morrow，because I am exceedingly busy about my school matters．Mr．Tsuda starts for Corea at 12 o'cl．and in some cases，I must go to Yokohama with him．AIso，I received an invitation from the Methodist girl School!!!!!! A fair chance for hunting．
Since I met thee on last Saturday，my heart longs after thee exceedingly．Be then sure to be in my Azabu mansion on Thursday forenoon，and we will have something to consult with each other．
LON．
(64) 7月31日 太田稲造宛
Ozaki，
July 31st，'83．
Monk：
For thy pleasant society last night，much thanks．Stopped here last night，−a petty obligation though it be．
Now as for Ikawo going．I thought it over about it，and the following is my judgement：
1．Shall I wait till about 20th of coming month？ The benefit of this lies in thy society，which will perhaps outweigh all the disadvantages that will be brought for七b．But here are some losses；viz．that we shall probably and necessarily be absent on days of the departure of Kabo；and that as my schooI commence on the first of Sept.，I shall be able to remain in Ikawo only a few days．
2．Then must I go in the early part of August？ The want of friends is too heavy to balance all the benefits which are connected with this plan．But I am afraid that I will lose the opportunity to visit my dear J※［oに長音記号］sh※［uに長音記号］by waiting till thy convenience allows．Moreover，I know not how to spend the coming 3 weeks；and in addition，to clear myself from all“petty obligations”，I thought it expedient to start at once，and be absent from Tokio about 2 weeks．Allow me，Monk，to pursue this plan．I think we shall be better able to consider about our cherished subject of“Peeps into the condition of the Poor”，by being placed asunder．
(65) There are many difficulties on my part to start at this very time．I have to leave in home，my sick mother，who，however，out of her love，wishes to have her son be strengthened than to have her eye-sight clear．Brothers and a sister（in Christ）express their thoughts that they do not wish to have me apart even temporarily．Returning to myself，and considering about my characters and condition，I always fall into tears of gratitude that God has given me such worthy friends to such a one as myself．Being bodily weak，and intellectually poor，I am unable to return such inexpressible friendship in worldly honor or wisdom，I will try to do my best with my weak“heart”．
“Throb，thob，my little heart”，
yes，throb in tune with my friends' hearts．
Will see thee at least once before my departure．Perhaps，the Sap．triumvirate will take place to-morrow if possible．
Your
JON．K．UCHIMURA．
Very best regards to your parents，BECAUSE they gave me a supper on my last visit to thee．
8月19日 太田稲造殿 東京四ツ谷タンス町
ヲトヽヒ コヽヱキタ ナンヂハ イツクルカ クルナラ キツトタヅネロ ナカ／＼ヲモシロイ カボハイツタツカ（？）
上州伊香保 永井喜八郎方
内村鑑三
(66) 8月21日 宮部金吾宛
Ikawo，
Aug．21st，1883．
Chum：
Ever since I left you，I have been perfectly happy．I have been received with cordial and Christian kindness everywhere，−all greeting me with hearty welcome．I have been acquainted with many Christian brotbers and sisters．I preached twice in Annaka and once here on last Sunday evenlng．I came here on 18th，and to my joy and astonishment I found Monk here．There are about 15 Christians staying here，and we are enjoying both in bodily and spiritual recreation．The Annaka Church is very different from those of Tokio．They are warm，affectionate，brotherly；and above all active．I was reminded of the Sapporo Church．Pleasant was it for me to enjoy a society among warm，lovely Christian community after long exposure to the coldness and indifference of the Metropolitan so-Called“brothers”．
I think I can scarcely expect to see you before your departure．I have now no special business to talk with you．You now go home，to our Jerusalem．I envy you for your lot．I have to remain here with but few friends，though these few be the dearest among all friends，SAVE THEE．Now in parting，I can say to thee with St．Paul，“God is my witness how I love thee”．Oft in solitudes of Ishikari valley，upon the top of the Ishiyama，in the jungles of Toyohira，I remember，I kneeled down before our God for the special purpose of imploring His blessing upon thee．Joy which I (67)enJoyed when I received thy letters，no one but myself knows．Ah！ Sometimes thou wert my only being，my universe．My imagination，heart，intellect，whole-self were absorbed in thee．When I wrote letters to thee late in night with joy and tears，and prayers and supplication，my bystanders doubted whether I was an insane，As thou knowest very well，I have not left anything hid from thee．Thou knowest my whole-self−my body，soul，and spirit．If，as some has done very mercilessly，I be blamed for my excessive love，because my temperament is such and is inclined to insanity，I can say this much to thee tha this is my love and no more．I have not loved anyone more than thee．Brother，brother：this is my heart and my faith that though thou killest me，I will forgive thy fault and still love thee．Though all will forsake thee I will love thee．Please ever remember，brother，that there is one whose heart is always pouring unfaltering prayers to Almighty God and Creator for thy sake；who always mourns for thee at thy misfortune，and rejoice for thy success．Now，in going north，take with thee everything thou wantest；but one thing I want you to leave in Tokio：and that is，the fault of Jon．K．Uchimura．Among the multitudes of my faults，one is most conspicuous；and that is，（thou knowest very well）my MOUTH．I take into it too much，and cause my stomach complaint．I take out of［半角の空白］it too much，and offend my friends．“Out of the abundance of heart the mouth speaketh；So when I offend my friend with my mouth，it is an outpouring of my heart”some may say．But with me，this is not the case；and I think I need not give any apology for this；because I believe thou hast granted me this my error．If brother，anything remains in thy ear from my mouth，which still lingers and does not depart from thee，please remember that the same offender is he who loves thee exceedingly，and prays for thee daily．O！ take nothing which pertains to me save my little throbbing heart to Sapporo．My weak，struggling body，thou (68)needest not love，nor put much value upon it；my ever changeable intellect and faltering spirit，please ever pity and pray for；but brother，take my little heart with thee，and this is my only present to thee．A poor useless gift，thou mayest call it．A friend who can give no assistance in matters of domestic life and comfort；a friend who can give no advice or idea about scientific or philosophical matters；a friend therefore，useless for common worldly men；for what benefit is it to have a friend who can only say he go loves，and cannot show it by action？ Ah！ greatly mistaken am I，when from the coldness and unfriendliness of many whom I sought for my friends，I fell into disappointment ＆ blamed at their faults，without considering my own self，−what am I，how much do I worth．Nay，rise up my soul，and be exceedingly thankful that God has given thee such heartknitten brothers as Francis Miyabe and Paul Ota and such tender and loving sister as Mrs．Ozaki！ I am to be contented；nay，more，−I vshould throw myself in the presence of the Heavenly Father and say“What am I that thou art mindful of me．Thou hast given me something more than mere friendship”．Where shall I seek for brothers and sister such as I have？
“Come thou fonnt of every blessing
Tune my heart to sing Thy grace．”
Poor in treasures，poor in intellect；poor in health，poor in faith；but rich in friends though little in number．I AM FULL，I WANT NO MORE．What benefit it if I gain the whole universe and lose thee？ Yea！ I can say more“I could wish that myself were accursed from Christ for my brothers and sister”−Rom．\．3．My endeavor after intellectual attainment may fail；but solong as I can love them，I take joy
“Forlove must need be more than knowledge，
(69) What matters it if Inever know
Why Aldebaran's star in ruddy，
Or colder Sirius white as snow．”
With this，good-bye，dear！ Go north，take care of thyself．Show thyself as a man of pure Christian type．I pray for thy success in Science；not in preaching or any gay work before the public．Let thy peaceful life continue．Press toward the mark，leaving all things behind．
But，dear，while continuing in thy work，please ever remember of thy weak struggling brother，without any future special hope；whose life is like a voyage in very boisterous sea，struggling hard in dark，only trusting in our skillful Captain for his safe arrival in the haven．It may seem to thee that I am very careless，and fool in not caring to select any special course of study．Indeed，I do not feel easy to spend my precious time，groping hopelessly without any special aim．Now，to expose my whole self to you，I now write to you ratherin detail．
1st.−Shall I take Biology？−I like this branch most，and happy will I be if I can know something about it．Indeed，I will study it more，and though I would be unable to pursue it as my special branch，I will ever cherish it，and will be its most interested virtuoso．Still there are many disadvantages on my part to pursue it as my life-course．Now，in selecting an occupation，I believe it should be our duty to ask ourselves，“How can I be most serviceable for the 5ake of God and mankind？”And to solve this question，we must know THOROUGHLY of ourselves．Our characters，abilities，physical and spiritual health must be carefully considered，which are I believe prime-factors whose careful solutions we call the voice of God．And now you know me better than any other，and I believe if you think of me as if you were I，then you would surely say，as you said some time (70)ago，that Scientific Biology is NOT the study which God has ordained me to study．The same mayb be said of Physiology，Zoology，and Geology，which are nothing but different brancbes of Biology．
2nd.−Fishery，−This is very interesting and to feed myself，this will be my only resource．I intend to study it more and practice it more if possible．If I can，I will again unite with Government to improve my fishing knowledge．But the question comes，Is fishery my ordained work；i.e.my aim of life to do my service for the society？ My poor health steps in，and says No！“Thy health is too weak to sound，and fish，and work on the waves；and unless thou wilt take a peaceful habitation on land，thou wilt surely kill thy body”．Then what shall I do？
3rd.−Ministry？−No，I think．My too great nervousness，rough character，deficient eloquence，as well as weak sensibility forbid me to take this work as my life-service to the society．Moreover，my large family to be supported with my weak struggling health is a grand obstacle to this work．Indeed，I am interested in soul-matters，and I will try with all possible means to bring souls to ligllt．
Then what shall I do？ Of course I have to overstride many mountains of difficulty in accomplishing any great work．Have pity upon me brother，and pray for me in your opportunity．When I consider of my future，I always go into tears．I weep in time of sickness，not because of my bodily pain，for I can endure them，but because my sin is manifested in my weak health，which prevents me from working as much as I wish to work．But I believe in God who can raise pebbles to the sons of Abraham，and if it be His will，I wili be useful to the society．If not，and I die without doing any thing，I will serve at least as a specimen，first to the Christian community to show that though a man preach frequently and seems to work much for the sake of (71)church and Christ，if he has no true faith，he is an outcast of God and men；and secondly to society to show the evil effect of sin as manifested in weak body and intellect，and foolishness of studying too much to be honored as a valedictorian in colleges．God's will be done．Whether my life be taken for the purpose of fertilizing farms to yield crops to be masticated，digested and deflated；or my body be utilized as a sacrifice for the sake of mankind to save them from sin and trouble，to be an honor for country and mankind，I do not，cannot know．I would rather choose the latter，and not the former；but what matters it if I cannot do according to my wish．Accordingly，I now follow Longfellow's advice
“Learn to labor，and to wait．”
At present，I will do whatever I am commanded to do．This autumn I will commence study on Fishery，and if possible in Physiology．Preaching I will stop till I go to Sapporo．My religious studies will be the teaching of my parents and few relatives，and of Sister Ozaki．I will learn more of society．
Now in parting，Chum，I wish you to ever remember Ota and myself．We are to enter again into student life with no money and no home．We trust only in God for our success．Kabo，good-bye，I will always pray for you．Today，I can again sing very emphatically our favorite hymn，and I wish to reflect upon every line of the same，for nothing explains more fully our feeling．and our friendship．
Blessed be the tie that binds
Our hearts in Christian love，
The fellowship of kindred mind，
(72) Is like to that above．
（Scene of 1st April on the Bank of Mukojima．）
Before our Father's throne
We pour our ardent prayers，
And often for each other flow
The sympathizing tears．
（Scene of 5th May，in Dokanyama．）
We bear our mutual woes，
Our mutual burdens bear，
Our hopes，our ends，our aims are one，
Our comforts and our tears．
（Scene of Mch．24th，in my home．）
When we asunder part，
It gives us inward pain，
But we shall still be joined in heart，
And hope to meet again．
（Our feelings of to-day．）
(73) From sorrow，toil，and pain
From sin we shall be free；
And perfect love and friendship reign
Through all eternity．
（Our expectation．）
Remember me brotherly to your Dear One．Let her visit me if she wish．I have now 3 female friends．I can talk with her very freely．
Your most loving friend and Bro.,
JON．K，UCHIMURA．
9月12日 【太田稲造君行 四ツ谷タンス町 九月十二日 小石川上富坂町 内村】
I was little ill to-day，and was at home all the day through．Mr．Kato's position is not fixed yet，and Mr．Kozaki told me that when it is fixed，he will inform me about it as soon as possible．I have been waiting to-day for the information；but seeing that it is not yet arrived，I want thee to see Mr．Kozaki by thyself at the office of the Keisei-sha to-morrow．I am sorry I have delayed to inform thee soon；but I wish thee to pardon me，for my negligence was not to put the matter aside，but to save one postal-card，which is a pretty considerable sum at present．
J．K．
(74) 9月14日 【太田稲造君 四ツ谷タンス町 九月十四日 小石川上富坂 内村】
Dear Brother：
I am sorry that our object to“feed”thee has failed．I am astonished at the heartlessness of one so-called Christian；but brother，let us bear，for the Lord will not leave us hungry．
The moon is getting rounder and rounder and I want to enjoy it to-morrow evening with thee．I have Biological Society to-morrow afternoon，and will be at home at 6P.M.Wilt thou not come to me at that time，and go to Ueno with some“dango”to let our
“Friendship as the moon's bright light remain，
To cheer our hearts oft and oft again．”
Yours beloved
JON．K．U．
To be sure，weather must be clear．
9月21日 太田稲造宛
Night of Sept．21st，'83．
Brother Ota：
Much thanks for thy consolation to-day．When I returned，just as I expected，I was sharply reproved by my father and mother of my conduct，to an extent which was almost unbearable (75)without tears．But thy last advice greatly strengthened me，and though I feel very heavy to-night，I will not be crushed．It is a great consolation to think over that thou，who hast been my heart and most intimate companion for these last six years，is now sailing in the same boisterous sea as myself．Both of us are now without special means to support ourselves，and are suffering from various circumstances，which，−blessed be our friendship，−we only sympathize with each other．Let us ever be firm，brother，for our future work is one which requires much of our drills in this school of experience，and we should always count that opportunity as precious which gave us a lesson with regard to humanity．Brotber Paul，I love thee，and trust thee as my only old friend at present．To thee only，I can fly for strength and hearty advice，and in thee only，I can find good and safest refuge．
I herein request thee to visit Ozaki family to-morrow，and tell them about my condition at present．I will not be able to visit them on Sunday，neither can I write letters frequently，especially Sister Ozaki．Tell them I will never forget them and am always praying for their sake．Tell them I greatly sympathize with all the tribulation which they are suffering．Tell them that as long as my parents live，I cannot commune much with female friends．These I wish thee to tell tbem to-morrow，if not on Sunday morning．
Brotber，was it my fault to have sought friends and consolators in female circles？ If I wish to be a Shaka，shall I be like him on my relation to female sex？ What a fool am I？ Led my passions，I have fallen into many useless troubles and anxieties！ Ah！ me！ have I played a novel？ Ah！ these are pettinesses；they are not which we have been called to consider much．More important business is left for me and you．
(76) Come，Whatever may come．I will estrong．I will work hard，and wait for the time appointed by the Lord，Bro．God will be with thee．
Yours ever trul1y，
JON．K．UCHIMURA．
10月5日 宮部金吾宛 札幌〔もと英文〕
一八八三年十月五日、東京小石川にて
愛する兄弟フランク
君が去つてから、われわれ二人は忙しいが、非常に幸福である。二人が会うごとに、君の名前が必ず出る。われわれは孤独だが、お互いに非常に朗かである。パウロは僕の唯一人の相談相手また慰め手である。すでにポケットがさみしくなつたので、二人のポケットを共通にしている。われわれは今、非常に似通つた道を歩いている――お互いの家庭内の仕事でも、お互いの勉強の方法でも、またお互いの将来の志望のあらましでも。フランクよ、僕らの状態と君の現在とを比較すれば、君は幸福である！ 大家族が僕によりかゝり、多くの親戚が僕の助けを求めるので、僕は外面的にはかなり重荷を負うている。僕自身、例の如く肉体は弱く、感情はそこなわれ、知的には小人で、暗黒と濃霧の中に苦しみ、ハッキリした将来の希望もない。たゞあるものは全能者の救いの力だけである。しかし神は僕を一人ボッチにはすておき給わない。伊香保から帰京して以来、僕の精神は日に日に成長するように思われる。神のみ手が益々僕の上にある事が分る。今、僕はキリストの栄光が弱きうちに完成された事を知る。
「耐えしのぺ、これらのきびしき悩みは
大地よりはえ出でしものにあらず」
神は僕を将来のために準備し給うであろう。現在の肉体の弱さは、僕のこの世的の野心を喰いとめる為のものと考える。そしてこの世的の名誉や富貴に対する凡ての誘いが取り除かれる時、神はこの「我をうつサタンの使い」を取り去り給う(77)であろう。「神は強き者を辱かしめんとて弱き者をえらび」、み心ならば僕をもそのように使い得給うのである。或は、もし僕が一生涯この地上でこうした事に苦しまねばならぬなら、僕は自分の生涯はほゞ三十年を出でないだろうと考えて自分を慰める。
「われら互いによぎるべき
流れの岸にたどりつく時
汝われをば安らかに導き渡し
この世のけがれより洗いきよめ給わん」
故にフランクよ、僕が失望していると思わないでくれ給え。暗黒の中を帆走りつゝ、僕の目は上なる或る者の導きを見る事が出来る。神が何の目的で、今、こうしたこの世的の欠乏や苦難を以て僕を試み給うのかを、かすかながら解する事が出来る。僕は強い。前より強くなつた。｜働きつゝ待て〔付ごま圏点〕。これが僕のモットーであつて、今、すこぶる幸福である。
津田君の学校は閉鎖の運命にある。札幌を去つて以来の僕の第一の《失策》である。これが人生である。次にはどこへ行くべきか、僕は知らない。多分《水産会》へ行つて会誌の編集者になるだろう。どこかで喰える。
君の教授ぶりはどうか。
札幌は今、若い妻と夫とで一パイの事と思う。今から三年後に札幌へ行く時の光景をハッキリえがく事が出来る。若い氏《ミスター》と夫人《ミセス》が教会にみち溢れることだろう。僕は藤田を一番気の毒に思い同情している。彼以外の者は皆僕の敵である。彼だけが信頼するに足る。他は皆反逆者（君もその一人）である。
君に僕の弟の世話を頼みたい。彼は、君の知る通り、物を理解する事が非常にのろくておそく、牛のように頑くなながら、正直者である。君を僕のように思え、と手紙で言つてやつた。彼は、君が僕の唯一人の友であり、僕にとり一番親しい兄弟である事を充分よく承知しているので、最善をつくして君に待つようにすると返事をよこした。兄弟よ、親切にして、必要に応じて話すなり叱るなりしてくれ給え。もし不平を言つたら、君がするように僕もする、と彼に告げてくれ給え。
も一つして貰いたい事がある。君の知る通り、僕は札幌教会に関するあらゆる事に強い関心をいだいており、その為に祈る事を怠るような事はなく、その繁栄に関する何かのニュースが来る毎に、僕は神のみ前に感謝に溢れる。しかし昨今(78)はそれに関する特別のしらせが少しも貰えないのに尾崎氏のところへは絶えず連絡があるらしい。もちろん、この事についてつぶやいてはならないのだが、しかし、もし、教会――その為に度々泣き、怒り、その為に絶えず祈つて居り、その為に僕の将来をさゝげようと願つている教会の新しい動きは、何でも、出来るだけ早く知る事が出来たら、実に幸いである。愛する兄弟よ、君のひまの折に、度々、教会について、君の好意で、知らせて貰えないだろうか。そのため長い手紙を書いてくれとは頼まない。たゞハガキに簡単に書いて貰えば充分だ。
大島兄弟と大島姉妹とはどうしているか。大島君は僕について怒つてはいないだろうか。同君は二月二日以来少しも手紙をくれない。僕が同君と、僕の弟に対する同君の大きな親切とをいつもおぼえている事を、同君に告げてくれ給え。渡瀬、伊藤、足立に特によろしく。人の善い、愛すべき藤田に僕の心と同情とを伝えてくれ給え。田内はいつ父親になるか。
この次は君の手紙を貰つた｜後で〔付ごま圏点〕書く。それまで、兄弟よ、サヨウナラ。
君に最も愛される友にして兄弟なる
ヨナタン・ケー・内村
二伸 この手紙をしたゝめているところへ、ハリス氏から手紙がついた。氏と夫人とから札幌の兄弟へよろしくとの事。
10月30日 太田稲造宛
Oct．30th，1883．
Dearest Friend：
How can I express my gratitude to thee for thy depth of love and kindness shown to me recently？ I am at a loss how to return my sincere thanks to thee．Please，ever remember，brother，that thy present kindness will ever remain indelibly upon my mind．
Now，yesterday evening，I had a talk with my parents about the matter．The father was calm and meditative，and quite contrary to my expectation，I was able to talk with him calmly and un(79)derstandingly．But the mother was not so．But her grumblings are so childish and groundless，that I do not think worth to be used as to cause a disappointment on the part of sister Asada．Such murmurings as，“She is too wise，too learned，too intelligent”，etc．are very unreasonable．These ought to be used as favorable grounds for giving me affirmative answer．I think she will understand soon．But I have determined to send a“cutting”letter to Yokohama，and already wrote a large part of it，when my father stopped me，saying that I ought to consider more，and to talk once more calmly to my mother．I am waiting for a letter from Yokohama to-morrow morning，which will be an answer for my rather harsh cold letter，representing all of my black sides．If she send me a lettetr，in which I can find her reluctance even to a slight extent，I will use that as my“argumentum versum”，and will cut up all the source of future trouble.* As it now is，I will remain silent．
Brotber，am I not a complete fool？ Ridiculing till yesterday for the blindness of others in wife matters，I myself am finally fallen to the pit．Very，very membokunai！ But I know that all things which are beneficial to me will come to pass．For these long years，I have been praying that I may be useful in the Lord's field，and ∴ I do not think He will disappoint me by such a petty matter as one at present．I am calm and peaceful．The Children of God are the happiest set of people．To them only the benefits come，no injury．Only let me work，and all will be right，I believe．
To-day I commenced to write essays on the topics of life，Which I want to compose in form of letters to be addressed to thee，Miyabe，and perbaps to sister Asada，because I can thus express my ideas more perfectly．Perhaps letters to thee will occupy the largest part．Went to Ueno to-day，(80)and returned with much spiritual benefits．
Yours coworker and fellow-soldier，
LON．
* Do not think that I am too cold toward her．I still love her，admire her，and because I love her，I want to cut the source of her future troubles also．AIso it may be God's will，if that be the case．O！ what a wicked world is this？
10月31日 【宮部金吾殿 北海道札幌農黌 植物学先生 小石川上富坂町 内村鑑三】
Tokio，
Oct．31st，'83．
Dear Chum：
Without much wonder，I received your short（as usual）but deeply affectionate letter through your convenient living letter，Bro．Fujita．Ota told me that I ought not expect answers from thee to our letters，and that we had better to write“Charity letters”on the very top of the page，hoping no answers from such a meagre letter-writer as thyself．
Glad to hear that thou art fat as usual workiug upon weeds with thy calmness．Call no work“mean”．Whittier sings：
“The truth the English poet saw
Two centuries back is thine−
Who sweeps a room as by God's law，
(81) Makes room and action fine．
And in thy quiet ministry
To wants and needs of ours I see
Howg race and toil may well agree．”
As for ourselves，we are improving in everything daily．We meet only once in about 10 days；but we feel very near，and I thank God that He has left one great consolator and counsellor with me．His cold intellect，my reckless spirit，are well arranged to compensate with each other's actions．We learned great deal about the“real life”．'Tis nearly a year before when I left my dear Sapporo，and I look with regret for the time wasted since I came here，when I consider how much intellectual progress I have made．But intellect and spirit do not always go together．Do not think that“spiritual progress”is simply a non-ethical emotional excitements．Emotions are not the heart．The heart with which Huss and Luther pushed their tremendous work，the heart with which apostles followed Christ，leaving everything that was dear to them，−they were not mere illusory emotions，but strong wills，deliberately directed against the evils of the world．So called enthusiasms which frequently flash upon us to pursue reckless course of“dying for the world”，though noble，but are weak and unreliable．Religion requlres strong wills．Let the sea of emotions rage；but the converted Will will move his sceptre to soothe the excited self．So I learned，recently．and I think，thou agreest with me in this respect．Loving and be loved，do not constitute the life．It is indeed sweet to be“petted”by“spiritual sisters”；but to be absorbed in it is not Christian manhood．
“'Tis a vile life that，like a garden pool，
Lies stagnant in the round of personal loves．”
(82)For me，is left a hardier，nobler，sweeter work，and thank God，He has thus shown me the way．A tiny Hydra or a microscopic fungus may be worth a life of one Christian hero，to reveal its beauties and mysteries as stamped by the Christian's God；and in a similar manner，this little speck of dirt called the Earth is worth a while to be studied as a hamlet of featherless biped，with its innumerable vices and filthinesses of all descriptions．Let us then，brother，work．Just while writing this letter，a letter from Ota arrived in answer to mine sent yesterday，in which he gave me his verse．It is，
“All things which are beneficial”
Thou sayst，“to me will come to pass．”
Well said，Brother；for we're special
Children of God；and as He was．
So will He ever be our Guide and Guard．Thus he comforts me，and thus I will exhort thee．
I am now in leisure．I will probably be engaged in Fishery Department from about the middle of Nov．But my leisure is spent very profitably．The calm Autumn lends me much of its serenity to soothe my harsh spirit，and to model my character for future．I often go to Dokanyama，and on that little Artificial Fuji，where we enjoyed often our“Blessed be the tie”，I spend hours in meditation and prayers．I feel so joyful in happy communion with my Father，when I pour forth my hearty requests one after another．Remember thy name is never forgotten in my“twice prayers”of the day．Especially when in the solitude of Uyeno，where we so often spent some of our sweetest hours in our life，thy image is vivid to my mind，and when I recall to my mind how thou hast consoled me with thy usual tenderness and love，my tumultuous heart melts away and is lost (83)in the serene Autumnal eve，when
“All so still！ So still the air
That duty casts the webs of care．”
Pardon me，brother，I have been too poetical．As usual，I am studying Fishery and Darwin．From this week，Mr．Whitney of U．S．Legation promised me to teach in Physiology twice a week．He is you know，a M.D．and a specialist in Electricity and Microscope．A good teacber，I have found out．I am now a frequent lecturer in scientific societies，though I am perfectly silent among religious gentlemen．
How is my brother getting along？ Be kind enough Brother to look after him．I have now a little trouble，which I may，（and must）tell thee；but since the matter will be fixed within a few days，I think，I will then report to thee．Ota is only one who knows about it．Many more to write；but stop till next opportunity，fearing that such a good letter will receive no recompense from the Founder of“Miyaberism”，whose friend，brother，and lover，I am
JON．K．UCHIMURA．
11月27日 【宮部金丸殿 札幌 東京 論的主人ヨリ 十一月廿七日 藤田ニタノム】
Tokio，
Nov．27th，'83．
Dear Kabo：
Though thou art siIent as usual，I hope thou art well．As for me，I am growing in bodily and (84)spiritual strength．My occupation is not yet fixed；but I am now writing about herrings and cods，and I shall be able to dedicate to thee my first productions within soon．Three positions await me；one from Noshomu，second from Sui-San-Kwai，and third from Doshisha．I do not know which is the best，and I am praying God that He will show me my way．
Fujita，whom we now send back to thee to be thy consolator，will tell thee something about me．Thou art the only one who can cheer me in that respect．Of course，whatever I have done，I have done for the sake of the Lord．But ambition and the world do not go together，and so I have almost decided to cut off all such relations．One thing I have observed recently in my life；i.e．my life has thus far been one of constant turmoil，both outward and inward．Never a case can be mentioned in which my will was carried into effect．Everywhere obstructions．But I thank God that He beats me frequently．I firmly believe that He is preparing me for His work，and I can bear His scourgings with joy and peace．
“Often the clouds that wrap our present，
Serve but to shine all our future days．”
What if my whole life be one of constant troubles and sufferings！ Thirty years more，and my task will be over．Let the world seek after satisfaction and“happy homes”upon this earth；we Christians need have no home here．I am perfectly satisfied with my present．I have never been so rich as now．Pray brotber，for me．Do not pray that God may give me a good happy family and a prominent position in society；but pray rather that God may use me in His work，and enable me to bear all the sufferings which He may give to me．
“Jesus，I my cross have taken，
(85) All to leave and follow thee”
is my favorite hymn at present．Ota is my constant companion，consolator，and adviser．We have enjoyed many pleasant meetings since thy departure．Thy name is always mentioned in our conversations．
I am now a popular lecturer in Biological and Fishery Societies，but none in Religious society．Fishing occupies most of my time．“Sister society”−I do not enjoy much at present．Mrs．Hada is now my good consolator．Remain mostly at home．No money；but Ota consoles me by quoting Aristotle，“Nature abhors vacuum”．So it is，and I have an abundance of post-stamps．Receive about 2 letters on an average a day．Brothers and sisters from all quarters write me．Very pleasant．Thou art however very slack to me in this respect．Saved two cents by Fujita．Abundant to write，but no more heart，than is contained in these two plates．Waiting for thy answer．
LON．
12月16日 【太田稲造宛 十二、十六 小石川上富坂 内村】
Monque：
On Friday，became a“robber”again of No-sho-mu．The last week was a woeful one；anotber severe struggle with P-ts.，To-day，I am sick of exhausted brain．
I am ready with thy 3 yens．Thou canst have them at any time．Call on me at night．
LON．
(86) 12月□日 宮部金吾宛
No-sho-mu Office，
Christmas，1883．
My Dear Maru Kin：
Thy epistle brought by Mr．Watase was duly received，and much thanks for thy unchanging love and sympathy toward me．To-day is Christmas，and I believe thou art enjoying a happy society with our beloved brethren and sisters of Sapporo．I long for thee，and thy society，on this memorable day of the Christendom．Last night，I was alone，watching the sickness of my mother，and being intrusted with two children．The matter which thou hast sympathized me so greatly is in still very unsettled condition，and the turmoil which raged for several weeks in the selection of my occupation still relgned in my heart．I was moreover affected with little bronchitis，and felt very gloomy and disagreeable．But being taught never to doubt of God's dispensations，I remained quite happy，and though it was not at all a merry Christmas eve，I spent it in writing to Miss Asada about my future and my prospect．Many friends came to me to ask my assistance，and I have to empty all of my pocket．Yes，brother，I am sent here not to spend my life for my sake，“for that life is most nobly spent，which is spent for the sake of others”．I thank God that I have such a feeling at present．Though waves are high and the path dark，still there is left a safe Anchorage for me，where，“From sorrow，toil and pain，I can enjoy my true rest．Till them，Iet me not expect any rest．Let me bear as much burden as I can for the sake of others．“Manifold (87)family relations”，Well hast thou described my condition．Truly it is manifold，and how it is，thou knowest very well．When I consider that I have been blessed with a heart，who，with true Christian piety，bravery，and womanliness，promised me to bear all burdens with me，I feel exceedingly thankful．But，if Iconsider how she must suffer with me，my love toward her causes me to urge her not to unite with me．Let me bear these burdens alone，and let not another soldier of Christ come and suffer with me．I remember the case of Sanada Yukimura，when he was going to die for the sake of his master，his son came to him to die with him；but the father rejected the son，because he thought that the son may serve the master after he is gone．So，it is with me．It is sufficient that I should suffer alone．Others need not taste of my trials，willingly．Moreover my bealth demands that I should be alone through life if God allows．I do not want to leave my dearest sister in Christ，a poor widow．Not ad ay passes at present without some severe throbbings of my heart．Looking at beggars in the streets，“prodigal sons”in my friends，etc.，all carry their respective vibrations to my weak heart．Poor heart！ Canst thou cease to be so sensible to such petty affairs of tbe world？ Be thou little sturdy，and brave．
But，chum，be not troubled with thy Lon．He is happy in Christ，Christmas is merry，though not in its common sense．It is merry，because，on that-day，my Consolator，Savior，God was born．True thankfulness fills my heart，When I consider what a mercy it is to send to this world，His Son，to die for me．“The noblest place where man can die is the place where he dies for man”．Since my Master died for the sake of man，let me，as His disciple，die for the same sake．The greatest event in the world's History，−the birth of Christ，and the condescension of God to earth！ O！ brother，let us not spend such a day in jollity and common gaiety；but with thanksgiving and (88)prayers．What caused Christ to come to earth？ It is our sin，OUR SIN，remember．Had we not sinned，be need not come to us．Human depravity caused Shaka to forsake his royal throne；the same caused Christ to leave His Heavenly Home．O！ brother，let us be thankful．
I thank you very much for your care upon my brother．Be kind enough to look upon him as myself．
About my occupation，I wrote to my brotber and I ordered him to tell you and Bro．Fujita．
With regard to Miss Asada's affair I am not yet fixed．The real difficulty is with my mother，Who objects greatly at her learning．She is a pretty accomplished lady，sharp，though calm，passing through several hard experiences，and full of spirits to work for Christ．She is 21 years old，of intro-mental temperament，writes Japanese well，though poor in English．Her feature is far below the average，still her spirit and faith are rarity，Bro．Ota knows her as much as myself．I believe she will be a very useful woman at any rate．One point thou mayst object at，i.e．she is also a 上州者．
But the matter is very uncertain and I do not know what will become of it．If it be fixed under God's guidance，I will write thee more about her．At least，She is a very useful friend to me．Her frequent letters are really Christian epistles to strengthen and ennoble me．Her poetic minds greatly console me．It may be that it is too“mottainai”to have such a noble heart for such a buiki”fellow as myself．
I am pretty busy at present．Am entrusted with the 水産慣行調，principally Natural History Dep't of the same．The next year，I shall probably be out the whole year，if God will give me sufficient bodily strength．I am also preparing the catalogue of Japanese fishes，to be inserted in (89)Dr．Chamberlain's New Dictionary of Japanese and Englsh．It will probably take a year at least．I also wrote a 70 pages book upon Fishery，which will be published next January．A student comes to me every night to write out my lectures．
Mr．Harris arrived on 10th of this month．We were very glad to see him．
Very much more to be written but being very busy，and writing this by stealing official hours，I will bid thee good bye．May a thankful Christmas，and a happy New Year visit thee．Salute Fujita with my Christian love．Riokichi，I frequently remember in my prayer．
12月28日 【太田稲造殿 十二月廿八日 小石川富坂町 内村鑑三】
No-Sho-mu Office，
Dec．28th，'83．
Dearest Brother：
How should I to thank thee for thy inestimable love shown to me recently？ To-day I met sister Asada，and had long talk with her．Her idea seems to be to bear all sufferings with me；but with me the matter went on harder and harder，and I was compelled to cut up the relation．She wept bitterly，and so did I，but what shall I be to do at present？ Parents' reluctant“yes”are much harder to bear than their definite“no”．I would rather live alone through the life than to have my home set upside-down with wife-matters．Such is life．What，if we can have what we wish to have upon this world？ If that be the case，we need no future．The best evidence of the presence of futurity is the existence of sorrows upon this world．Thank God，I have a pure love (90)toward her．Thank God，I can dare to bear all my present troubles．If I look down，I become tear-blinded；but by“looking up，my tears flow in long streams down the cheek，and have the vision clear for the stars and sun”．When I meet thee again，I will tell thee minutely．
Yours ever beloved，
JON．K．UCHIMURA．
P．S．To-morrow is 当直 again and I shall not be able to attend Mr．Watase'swedding．
12月30日 太田稲造宛
Tokio，
Dec．30th，'83．
Monque：
Come，brother；here is a heart which yearns after thee．There is a heart“who lonely makes his moon”，and which only thine can strengthen．The yearis closing with tears and regret；but thougt the path be out of sight，I believe that there is“a star to guide the humble”．Whatis the real value of 1883 to us both？ Let us carefully balance debts and credits，and see whether our transactions have been profitable or not？
Profitable it must be，for whatever has come to us this year，has been，and must have been“sifted”through God's eyes．I opened my old note-book，and found in it an extract which read as follows：
The Closing Year．
Faster than petals fall on windy days
(91) From ruined roses，
Hope after hope falls fluttering and decays，
Ere the year closes．
For little hopes，that open but to die，
And little pleasures，
Divide the long，sad year，that labors by，
Into short measures．
Yea，let them go！ our day-lived hopes are not
The life，we cherish；
Love lives，till disappointments are forgot，
And sorrows perish．
On withered boughs，where still the old leaf clings，
New leaves come never；
And in the heart，where hope hangs faded，Springs
No new endeavor．
Brother，this expresses exactly my condition and my heart．How many hopes withered away“ere the year closes”？ Certainly I have passed a stormy year，the last part of which being most tempestuous．My weak vessel has been tossed almost beyond its power of endurance，and unless thou (92)wilt come，and take me to thy dock，and add considerable repair，it will not be able to commence another voyage through the tumultuous sea．But I pray God that He will give me some rest next year．Calm usually comes after a tempest，and I hope that peace and tranquility．will bless me in the new year．Waiting for thy coming as soon as possible．
Yours，
LON．
(93) 一八八四年（明治一七年） 二四歳
1月27日・29日 【藤田九三郎殿 北海道札幌南二条西六丁目 耶蘇教堂内 東京小石川上富坂町 内村鑑三】
Jan．27th，'84，
Tokio．
Brother N※［uの上に長音記号］，
Your unusually long letter written during the time when other boys and their wives were engaging in cards，was received with great pleasure，and thankfulness．Glad to hear that you are enjoying joy and peace in the Lord．As for me，I am quite well，though several tempests attacked me in succession since you left Tokio．Several times“I sunk”；but God took me up．Never have I in mylife，appreciated the value of true friendship so much as I did during the last severe attack of troubles．His words were only refreshments to my starved soul．Perfectly unselfish，he bore my burdens，and with tears and patience，guided and consoled me during my whole trouble．His heart and love were too dearly manifested，and all that I can do in future for the requital of the benefit received，is by doing all I can for such a friend．I think you can guess what the trouble was，and Who the friend is，you know very well．I need not tell you all about my trouble，for it is at any rate a petty matter if regarded out of myself；but with me，it was something which concerned me (94)very much，and I had to use my brain to a considerable extent．Thank God，however，tears and anxiety were not in vain，because my parents and friends seem to have granted now that I worked with my pure heart and nothing uncleanliness existed in the matter．I do not know how the matter will go．God will dispose it just as it pleases Him，and only thing I can do，is to trust Him firmly．This communication is only to you and Miyabe and to nobody else．
I now send you several copies of papers of application to the connection of International Bible Union．It is a good system，and will be very useful to those who are liable to neglect Bible reading．It was projected by Dr．Whitney，my teacherin Physiology，and has already membership of over 800，all over the country．I also send you 目録，so that you may use them．At any rate，send applications to the address on the envelopes so that we may know how many are going to unite with the Association．It is doing a grand work here．Many of our ladies and brothers among laboring class will be willing to unite with it，I think．Be prompt，brother；it takes no trouble．Only send names and 2-cents stamps，and the Association will give 会員之証 to those who are going to unite with it．
As to your idea of our Church question，I agree witb you precisely．Mr．Wataseis here in Tokio，but I seldom see him．I called on him several times，but he never comes to me．As to hire Mr．Honma of Hikone，to Sapporo，I have many objections，and if such a procedure is to be taken，I wish that Sapporo brethren will write to me，and order me to investigate the matter minutely．But as I heard from Mr．Sudzuki，he seems to have been requested to send an invitation letter to Saikio at once．I think that is a very reckless way of doing a thing．You know it requires some 70 yen to call him and his wife to Sapporo，and what shall we do if we find that he does (95)not suit us very well？ Shall we request him to return to ※［Oの上に長音記号］mi by giving him 70 yen more？ 140 yen is pretty a sum to our impoverished church，and we ought to be very careful in calling a man from such a distant district．I have heard something about him，and I do not think he is well fitted to be intrusted with our church work in Sapporo．This I write to you for your consideration．
How is your office work？“A soldier”as before？ I am also in leisure at present，and have ample time for study．I have heard recently that Minister Ito who lately came back from Germany is now already a Christian．He is said to put a great stress upon the importance of promulgating Christian scientific knowledge，in connection with practical social improvements．He is very anxious about the early evangelization of the whole Empire．Promising！ promising！
Brother，I never forget to remember your name in my daily prayers．I remember your words which you gave me in Yokohama．'Tis indeed hard to see some of our friends betray us from some petty causes，and we are involved in useless difficulties；but when I remember that there still remain few，to whom I have been a friend and a brother for these seven years，and who，I believe，are ever willing to do their best with tears and sympathy for me，joy overcomes sorrow，and murmurings disappear before abundance of gratitude．Christian friendship is something which even Xtians can seldom taste．What a blessing that we have this precious privilege．What Carlyle calls“blending of spirits to spirits，”−can such a joy be found elsewhere？
O！ Friend of friends，for you I give
My prayers，my hopes，my service free；
For you，your brother shall nobly live，
And at your need shall die for you．
(96) Clock struck 10；I bow before my God，and shares with you in communion with our Heavenly Father．
Good night，dear brother，
JON．K．UCHIMURA．
29th．
The matter which troubled me thus far seems to go not peacefully．I have tested her heart to the minutest points，known the dark sides of her character，as well as the bright sides．At any rate，she may be a fair match to me．
□月□日 【太田稲造君 四ツ谷タンス町 小石川上富坂 内村鑑三】
Friday，Morn．
Monque，My confidant：
I recall to my memory the experience of the past 5 months，and as I count many tears and joys which accompanied me，I cannot but burst into gush of tears，deep remorse upon my conscience，and regret for my failures．Some energy is necessary to convince me that I have been under the guidance of the Merciful Father，and only dark future is left to solve this mysterious problem．But amidst all myi nternal hardships，only thy heart which I have now for the first time，FULLY appreciated，has been my strengh and consolation．Considering the dark side of the whole matter，I sink into tears and disappointments；but its brighter phase strengthens and uplifts me to an extent hitherto unknown．May I be able to appreciate how much I am blessed by having (97)as my friend such a heart like thine，willing to do all thou canst for the sake of such a worthless fellow like myself！ Brother，I fully acknowledge the hardships through which thou hast been kind enough to pass for my sake．Truly，thou lovest me more than my“love”，and in thee，I can trust with all confidence．Tears for regret，tears for gratitude！−my weak system shrivels under tears and as I consider that there is in this world，one Who knows me when all others doubt me I can not but feel exceedingly thankful to God who gave thee to be my“bosom friend”．When my father and my mother will leave me，thou wilt still be my friend；and as such in future，I will cling to thee for thine assistance．What shall I do for the return to thy kindness？ Worthless in every respect，I am at a loss how and when I can work for the requital of the benefits I received from thee．But，brother，whenever thou considerest，that thou hast spent useless energy amidst thy work，for an useless end，I request thee that thou wilt remember，at the same time that thou hast strengthened one weak heart，and impressed it with thy heart，−with impression he will surely carry to heaven．In life and death，I want to be thy friend．O！
“Friend of friends，for thee I give
My prayers，my hope，my service free
For thee I will try to nobly live，
And at thy need shall die for thee”．
With all the power of language I have，I do not know how to express my sincere gratitude to thee，and the only way to show thee how I feel for thy kindness，is to invite thee to my bed-side，when，at my Father's Mercy Seat，I am thanking Him with tears of gratitude that He has given thee to be my friend and brother．Accept my hearty gratjtude，I pray thee，dear Paul；and in (98)future，as heretofore，be my counsellor，helper，friend．
I am ever，ever，thine，Brother，
LON．
P．S．Storm is not yet past，and I believe the“remnant waves”still attack me．Pray that my weak vessel be not affected by few more turmoils．
2月12日 太田稲造宛
Pebble Stream，
Feb．12th，1884．
Brother：
Much thanks for thy society yesterday．Whenever I talk with thee，I return home with new inspiration and an enlivened spirit．Thank thee for thy advices，and much more for thy lovely heart toward me．Ever remember brother，that my home will be thy home，and thine will be mine．God forbid that either envy or doubt，or anything of that nature should disturb our friendship which has been formed after many a year of love and contention，joys and tears．May neither life，nor death，things present nor things to come，nor height nor depth be able to separate each of us from the other．
I have asked thy favour to be at my home to-morrow evening，which request thou hast kindly received．But，brother，Wilt thou allow me to change the day to 15th，though it is extremely arbitrary，for the following reasons：
(99) 1．I met Mr．Niijima to-day，and he said that he will start from Saikiyo very soon，and he want to have a company with me to consider deliberately about our future，and especially about the Sapporo church．He said that he is very busy，and that he is very willing to have me tomorrow afternoon at 4 P．M．I think I had better meet him，for the meeting will give manifold benefits to me．
2．My relation with Miss．A．Will be fixed on 15th probably，and it is a fit opportunity to have thy friendly society，as it is a turning point of my life．
3．I was born rather nearer 15th，than 13th，and this may be one good reason to ask for thy patience．
Thus enumerating a few reasons，I ask thee to show thy amount of forbearance when thy friends commit insults to thee．One thing more I must ask thee to do for me．Thou must not only forgive me for telling thee a sort of［半角の空白］lie，but also，thou must come on Friday afternoon at about 5 surely．
Yours，
LON．
2月18日 【宮部金吾宛 札幌農学校 托片山氏 東京小石川上トミ坂 内村鑑三】
Feb．18th night，1884，Tokio．
Chum：
Thy stamped letter，（first one I received），came to me duly．Pardon me for my delaying (100)answer．
In the first place I must introduce to thee，the carrier of this letter，Mr．Katayama．He goes to Sorachi to be a practical farmer．He was my student in Gakunosba，and I found him an obedient，promising youth．I lectured to him freqnently about the God of Nature，which he seems to have accepted．I request thee，chum，to receive him as thy friend，and treat him as my beloved student．By a judicious guidance，I believe we can win him to Christ．He is going to within the immoral sets of men，and he requires much of Christian admonition．Be kind enough to look upon him when he comes to thee．
Now，dear chum，I must tell thee how my relation with my beloved sister went on．Long has been the storm which raged in our hearts till we have been brought to a peaceful conclusion．I found in her a noble Christian spirit，combined with her sharp discriminative power and pretty extensive social experience．Still she had one great defect in her characters，−and that is either her extreme innocence or her recklessness．To Love's eyes which are blind，it seems to be the former；but I cannot say which．Be it the case whatever it may，I received many useless suspicion about her from tもe world；and on that account，after full considerations，I determined to cut all relations with her．This I really tried twice，to our sadness beyond expression．I saw her cheeks drowned in tears，and for the first time noticed that tender angelic love which is the sweetest remnant in the daughters of Eve．
“Rose is sweetest when wet with dews，
Love is sweetest when wet with tears．”
AIso，
(101) “I have shed hot tears for her，I love”，
But
“Nought but our Master could my heart remove”，
and with full determination，I forced her to leave me，and seek other“objectionless”mates．Against my will，against her will，but believing it to be His will，we parted nobly，and we had almost given up any hope for union，when my parents，apparently seeming to have realized the purity of our hearts and desires，took up the case，and thanks be to God，after common Japanese ways，the matter has been fixed on the 15th inst．Calm comes after the tempests．Now，
“Joy comes，grief goes，We know not how；
Everything is happy nbw，
Everything is upward striving；
Who knows whither the clouds have fled？
In the unscarred heaven they leave no wake，
And the eyes forget the tears they have shed，
The heart forgets its sorrow and ache．”
Now，brother join with me、in my joys and sorrows．I have talked with thee considerably about this topic．To thee everything is open，especially with regard to this matter．Whether as ones or two-ones，we should be friends，brothers，coworkers，and if I got a sister，thou hast also got one．Be assured，thy home will be my home，and mine，thine．
I intended to live apart from her for about a year more at least；but several circumstances compel me to get her within soon．Her parents are very poor，and it is pretty hard for them to (102)put her in school．AIso my mother is very weak now，and it is a great help to her as well as to me to have my mate in my home．
Now，chum，comes an important question．We are entering upon new era of our life．A wife well used is a decided help in our future career；misused，a grand obstacle．One day I noticed a cooly drawing a wagon with a pile of pebbles upon it up a dale，and I saw his wife assisting him from behind．The scene was a fine specimen of a connubial relation．Are we not also coolies，who，with Prof．Herschel，pushing the wheels of the world，to leave it in a condition better than we found it to be；and in this daily labor，what a grand assistance to have a force applied，to encourage，invigorate us？ Whether I have been blessed with an“ato-woshi”，or simply a“sune-kajiri”can only be ascertained after real experience；but this much is certain，that since my relation with her has been peculiarly”brought about，−peculiarly met each other in a peculiar place，peculiarly became friends，peculiarly passed through peculiar trials together，and finally pecdiarly brought about into peculiar effect，−I believe that God answered my long made prayers，and furnished me with a mate，which is beneficial to me．Pray for me，brother．
Chum，I have now so many things to talk with thee that I like to be with thee very much．I often thought during my last trials that how much would I have been relieved，had thou been with me．Ota sympathized with me profoundly；he showed me his heart of deepest friendship．He is now my grand counsellor．Thank God that He has left such a one with me，though He took thee from me．
How art thou going on？ As for me，I am spending the time very pleasantly．I go to Noshomu-sho at 9 A．M.，stay there till 12 o'clock，mostly studying foreign fisheries．Then I go to (103)Medical Dep't．of Tokio University to study fishes with Mr．Matsubara．I am now studying Elasmobranchii．Just to-day，found out a new fish，which must probably form a new family by itself．My“unnatural”scientific bow seems to be yielding now，and I think I can study little now．Poetry，I study in leisure，and Darwin as a home reading．But fishes and fishing occupies most of my time．My body is very stinky now．
Let us，brotber，cling not to the dusts．Plants，fishes，are dusts by themselves．Let us always be“dolphin-like，and soar above the element we live in”．From Nature below，let us always soar to Nature's God，and there always learn，the holy oracles of God．Brotber，I must stop here．10 o'clock now．My prayer hour．Will bow down before God，and mention thy name．Good night．
JON．K．UCHIMURA．
3月28日 【藤田九三郎殿 北海道札幌南二条西六丁目十二番地 東京小石川上富坂町 内村鑑三】
Mch．28th，1884，
Tokio．Dear Brother in Christ：
A message through wires must have informed you of the most sorrowful news which you have to hear during your earthly pilgrimage．The news struck me with an electric shock，much more when my imagination carried me to the midst of your internal emotions at this critical moment of your life．Those tender eyes which were moistened with tears both when you came to and went out from，her house，are I believe now returning to your memory with tenfold vividness；and，(104)brother，I believe，I am not mistaken，as I picture to myself manifold emotions of your heart，when I state that the present is a moment of most serious meditations and prayers on your part．As soon as the news reached me，I at once called on your house；and the next day（22nd）I went with Mr．Ota to attend the burial of your mother．The ceremony was not Christian；but be assured，dear brotber，I am not oue of those who refuse to bow before“dead bodies”，considering “outward doings”to be the violation of Religion which is of spirit．I bowed before her coffin both when it was placed in the hall of a Buddhist Temple，and when it was lowered to the earth with appropriate funeral services，I bowed，however，not as others bowed．My homage was paid not to the coffin and its contents，but to your mother，who is not in the coffin，but somewhere in unseen land，free from sorrow，toil，and pain．All the while，myself was carried to yourself，and every funeral duty I performed，I performed as if I were you．Your mother，then my mother−at least in spiritual sense of the term；and I thanked God that my eyes were not dry when sextons lowered the coffin to the prepared square hole，thinking tbat I am still a brother to you in Christian sense，“bearing one anotber's burden，and so fulfilling”，though to a very small extent，“the law of Christ”，Gal．Y．2．Weep not，brother，your mOther is not dead．Our God is a righteous God，and His judgment is past understanding．He is not only a just God，but a merciful One．It is assuredly too harsh a conclusion，that since one has not been baptized，therefore，be（or she）must go to hell．At least，a merciful lawyer does not judge thus；how much more must the Lord of Mercy and Justice．Rom．U．14．
Ours is not to ask why and wherefore，
Ours is but to work and die．
(105)Let us not fall into vain imaginations about uncertain futures of human life，for God only knows this．He will work for us as He seeth fit．All that we have to do，is to praise Him for His abundant mercies，and ask him for His further guidance．So，then，brotber，I exhort you to be calm and strong in this moment of great trials upon you．
“Let us be patient．These severe afflictions
Not from the ground arise；
But often celestial benedictions
Take this dark disgulse．”
It may be rather a heartless step to unite a wedding announcement with the death-knell．But I maybe excused from doing so if you grant with me marriages and funerals jn the sense our Lord taught us．Both are sacred in Xtian sense，and if considered from the point of“true faith in Jesus”，the latter is as much as，if not more，solemn and sublime ceremony．To-night，I have to go to clasp hands with“one whom I love in Lord”，and I wish you to turn a part of your“heavy tears”to a tear of joy，for us．Long and tedious is the story wihch led us to the present；but the Lord is good in everything，and the matter came to a satisfactory conclusion．Be kind enough to be my guest when this letter reaches you，and as you bow before the Mercy Seat，be kind enough to remember us before God，that we may be useful in future in His sight．In closing，let me say，A Dearest Brother Fujita，it will be a great joy to us if you kindly attend our wedding exercise at 長蛇亭，on Friday Evening，at 7 P．M．
J．K．U．
T．A．
(106) P．S．Write you a longer letter soon afterward．
3月28日 【宮部金吾殿行 札幌農学校 東京小石川上富坂町 内村鑑三】
Mch．28th，1884，Tokio．
Dearest Brotber Kingo：
It will be a great pleasure to us if you be kind enough to attend our wedding exercises this evening at 7 at 長蛇亭，Ikenohata．
Yours faithfully，
J．K．U，
T．A．
Thus will run，dear Kingo，our invitation to thee，to witness the vow we want to make before God and men．The story of the whole course since we met each other some 8 months ago in Annaka will be the topic of future conversations with thee．We let the circumstances run themselves，and they have brought us to the present relation．I thank God that we have been true to each other duriug our long struggle，and that suspicions，reproaches，etc．have gradually passed away．Neither worIdly honor nor position，much less our material wealth，have been the common object which joined our hearts；but ambitions to do good，both for God and men（if He allows）were only motives which drew us to each other．Pigmy in inteuect，deformed in flesh，each of us is；but dear Kingo，receive us for our hearts' sake if not for nothing else．Already I can see many hardships and trials awaiting us；but none of these things ought to move us，neither ought we to (107)count our lives dear unto ourselves，that we might finish our course with joy．
I thank thee for all thy kind exhortations，and I believe thy prayers，for our sake．Though I enter a new era in my life，I will never forget of the happy days，when we studied side by side，as“friends which are closer than brothers”．I will try all my best not to place myself in“a peculiar pot，to draw nourishment，propagate，and die”．Only 3 hrs．are left before I can hear my marriage bells，and I am alone in my room in deep meditation．The death of Fujita's mother is felt severely．While one is marrying，the other is sorrying．But my marrying is not“merrying”，but I take it to be a precious moment of serious consideration．May both of us be able to remember that many there are who are suffering without homes and clothings，and when I return home taking her hand in mine，may we be so disposed as not to run into wild joys，but to think of our futnfe when thus（i.e．hand in hand）we must work，assisted and assisting，strengthened and strengthening，for the sake of One who died for us，
Ever wishing thee to consider us as thy brother and sister．
JON．K．UCHIMURA，
Thy Chum．
3月31日 宮部金吾宛
Tokio，March 31，1884．
Dear Kingo：
I do not know how to express my sincere gratitude for thy endless kindness upon my brother， (108)thus showing thy unchanging love and regard for such a worthless fellow as Lon Shan．Chum，since thou left me in Tokio，many cases have occurred in my experience when thy absence was felt profoundly．“O！ if Kingo be here”has been my frequent exclamations．When I think of those past days when I enjoyed happy privilge of fleeing to thee in time of troubles，and of carrying the first fruits of my success，I always long after thee，and hope to live in the same land with thee．
Just 3 days have passed away since I became a complete man．Be assured，chum，that a newly married life is full of joys，consolations，and high aspirations．Future becomes brighter，and the present，easier．She is full of spirit now，and I have to exercise not a little energy to check her“constitutional enthusiasm”．Her warmest sympathy to thee，and her gratitude for thy kindness upon her brother．
Now with regard to the monetary affairs of my brother，I must confess thee that Mr．I− ought to have paid all his debt to me，till June last．I told him again and again that unless he would be prompt in payment，my brother must suffer；that he is helpless without money．I am rather astonished to hear that he paid only 10 yen．I cannot understand his motives．When I lent the money to him，I myself was in some financial distress；but thinking I must rescue him in such cases，I sacrificed almost all I had．He must be well aware of all this．But，Kingo，these words are to thee alone，and to none else．As thou canst easily imagine，almost every cent I had，was to be used for my marriage expense，and we fear that we shall be hungry sometime after．I want to forward the money to my brother very much；but，dear brother，may I ask thee to help my brother for a moment，for I shall willingly pay the money back to thee in books，papers，or anything else，if 17th come？ This is rather a bold step for me to take，but trusting in thy never-changing (109)heart，l venture this arbitrary process to humble myself before thee to ask thy assistance．
“Forgive me my debts，as I forgive my debtors”．Myself，What a great debtor．Debtor to friends in love，and in its manifold manifestations；the greatest debts to God that I cannot receive His crucified Son，as I ought to have done．O，Lord，teach me to say from my innermost heart，“ As I forgive my debtors”．As long as I have some one in the world whom I cannot love，I am not a disciple of Christ．
I want to writet hee a long letter，but I am busy now．So，please wait about two weeks after．
Ever thine，
LON．
5月27日 太田稲造宛
Funakawa Harbour，on
Board the Tamaura Maru，
May27th，1884．
Dear Friend：
Already 20 days have rolled away since I saw thee last：so I have finished about half of my long journey．The first part of my voyage，though not without the attack of that awful malady，−Nausea Mania，−was in general a very pleasant one，and about 50 hours after I left Yokohama，I was upon our homeland．Waiting for no steamer，I crossed the overland，and on the evening of 15 inst．I was received into the warm and brotherly hands of Sapporo friends．Thou canst easily (110)imagine our joy of seeing one anotber after absence of 1 1/2 years．How it was will be the subject of our coming conversation．Impelled by duty，I was able to stay in Sapporo only 3 nights，and after staying 4 more days in Otaru，I had to commence another long voyage，and I am now in a ship well known to thee in the comfortable harbor of Funakawa．
As thou mayest imagine，I am lonely；but herein I must thank thee for a sound principle
with which it has been my precious privilege to infuse my whole spirit largely through thy influence；and i.e．to believe that the best“dend※［oの上に長音記号］”for me，−at least at present，−is not to preach or to teach Sunday schooIs，but to do my appointed duty with Christian Spirit．So neither storms nor hurricanes could move me during my present trip，for I believe that I am on God's errand，and am doing just as noble a duty as Livingstone or Patterson was working as missionaries．Thanks be to that new idea！
One thing with which I was astonished while I was in Sapporo was that almost every body，even the maid of the hotel thou once lodged in knew of thy proposal to go to Sapporo．Of course，keeping my strict vow to thee I am entirely silent of that matter，and I cannot think of any means by which it has been diffused．I thjnk thou hast already heard from Kabo about thy probable position in Sapporo．Think carefully before thou takest thy bold step．Indeed，Sapporo is a good place to read；but let us always remember that reading alone does not make men．Is it not too early that thou shouldst retire to Sapporo？
I have plenty to write to thee，but I feel not well in the ship．I wish thee to visit my home in thy leisure，and lecture to my wife about the practical Xty．Please to tell her that there are many who dare to“work”for Christ by preaching and teaching Bible-Classes，but to work by ex(111)amples is as rare as it is important．I leave her entirely to God's mighty hand．Good night to thee，9 P．M．
Thine Jon．K．U．
My best regards to thy parents please．
Just reached Niigata，May 29th．11 A．M．
5月29日 【浅田信芳様 上野国碓氷郡安中旧屋敷内 北越新潟 内村鑑三】
拝呈 私事今朝当港ニ着仕候間乍憚御休神被下度候、家ヲ出テヨリ己ニ七百余里ノ海路ト一百余里ノ陸路ヲ経過シ、ハヤ已ニ愛兄姉ト距ル、僅カニ五十里、不日握手ノ快ヲ得ンコトヲ望ミ居候、明後日頃佐渡国ヘ渡リ該島水産取調ノ上又当港ニ帰リ直ニ御地方ヘ罷出ベキ積リニ御座候間、其節ハ又御役介ニ相成候間何分奉願候、独身ノ長旅ハ快苦無変、面白キコトモ沢山ニ御座候、御一同様御無異御消光ノコトト存候、皆々様ヘ万々宜敷奉願候、早々頓首
五月廿九日
9月15日 【宮部金吾殿 北海道札幌南二条西六丁目河原方 東京小石川上冨坂町 内村鑑三】
Zoological Laboratory，
Tokio University，
Sept．15th，1884．
(112)Dear Kingo：
Much thanks for thy kind letter．Glad to hear that thou art safely in our Jerusalem．Ota has gone to America，and I feel very lonely．The Sapporo triumvirate totally separated．No one to open hearts．Want to be in Sapporo very much to enjoy the society of“a friend that sticketh closer than a brotber”．Have studied considerable about human nature，−both social and domestic，and I believe I am now pretty well fitted for a pastor．Am enjoying the study of fishes here as usual．Am preparing the catalogue of the Vertebrate Animals of Japan．Office work very little．
I thank thee for a magnificent present to us as a marriage gift．The books will prove highly useful to us both，and will be our constant companions to spend our“digestion hours”．But brother，grant that we are not poets．Both of us are of buiki class，and I believe thou wilt be“twice-astonished”if thou wilt meet my“half-body”．
Great many are going to America．It is now very cheap to cross the Pacific，and every steamer carries a good number of Japs．Mr．Iwamoto is going soon．One great impetus for making the grand jump is the enforcement of the Army Laws．The best authority states however that“America-going”is not attended with as much benefit as we think in Japan，and only just a night before，I was kindly persuaded by an American friend of mine to suppress my ambition for a moment，telling me that the“study abroad”should have no higher aim than to“polish out”what we can get in Japan，when we have now such a goodly means to acquire knowledge．Myself stretches along the whole width of the Pacific，body in Japan，ambition in −．What shall I do？
How is the Sapporo Church going on？ I have no special church to attend in Tokio，but am experiencing all feelings of practical nature，and the effect of Xty upon the same．Yes，there are (113)more in religion than to be found in churches and pul1pits；more force in argnments than to be found in X'tian evidences；more sweetness than can be conceived by the“smooth voyagers”of the world．I studied for the first time the Psalms of David with interest，and I find them to be the true portraits of human nature in its varied aspects．I often got cast down，and thought that God is too harsh and merciless against me；but amidst the howling storms，the heaven occasionally opened for me，and when the sweet spirit rests upon me as a dove．O！ everything is perfectly clear to me，making me humble and patient under the mighty hand of God．I sought for consolation in the sayings of Saints，in the pessimistic ideas of some philosophers，but they are of no use to me．Only God in Christ is our refuge in time of trouble．Thanks be to God for his great gift to me in Christ．This world with Christ is tolerable；without him INTOLERABLE for such a weak fellow as myself．
I ordered Am．Naturalist for thee for 1 1/2 years through Mr．Hiroi，but hey do not come yet．What else shall I do for thee writh some ten yen more which I owe thee？
More to write，but good-bye till next．
Yours，
LON．
Many many thanks for all the love and kindness which thou hast shown to my brother till he entered the college．My wife unite with me in showing her best respect to thee．
(114) 10月27日 宮部金吾宛
Tokio，
Oct．27th，1884．
Dear Kingo：
Your welcome letter came to hand duly．I thank you for your long description about oysters of the Sarumako．You had a splendid opportunity to see Hokkaido．
Now，Friend，I must confess to thee something extraordinary in regard to myself．I wrote thee that I studied much about Humanity．For the past 8 months I was under a peculiar trouble，which none but my God knows．I sought for the cause of the trouble for a long time；but finding none I thought it to be my own fault．But recently matter so came out that the secret of the long disturbances of my family was disclosed；and alas！ poor me，she whom I trusted to be my helper，my cOmsolator，my coworker，was found to be a rascal，−a wolf in sheep's skin．Brother，be not surprised to hear such a news．It required all of my energies to scrutinize the affair，and by the testimonies of 4 or 5，the matter was found out to be so．You can easily imagine my condition under such a severe blow．Prayers for a good wife have received answers just as contrary as can be．Father，what have I done to thee to receive such a severe punishment？ Have I not been desirous to serve thee，and have not my prayers been to show forth Thy glories？ Is my God a deaf？ Such questions as these came up to my mind at a time，and in fact I was overwhelmed with glooms and disappointments．“The Lord mnst have forsaken me．There need be no more en(115)deavor on my part to serve my God”，−thought I．
I shall not write thee th eminutiae of the affir，for they are too long；but this much I tell thee that after deliberate considerations，asking my conscience and the Bible for the true solution of the problem，I dretermined to give her up．She is now in Annaka．
Brother，sympathize with me under such a blow．My parents are exceedingly sorrowful，and I have no words to console them．I feel much ashamed for my thoughtlessness in the selection of my wife；but I wish thee to pity me in this respect，for I did it because I thought it to be God's will．Trust me，friend，though others may laugh at me．Pray for me that I may not be cast down．
The storm is not yet wholly past，and bits after-influences threaten my family with continued disturbances．The way to avoid the shock was consulted，and the unanimous advice of parents and friends was to leave the country for a moment，and to find releif either in America or England．This I followed，and if God allows，I wish to leave Yokohama on the 6th of November．Dr．Whitney is exceedingly kind to enable me to take this adventurous step，and through his introduction，I am going to Philadelphia，and probably to London also．I sold up everything I had，and with but few dollars in my pocket，I have to plunge myself into the midst of strangers．I am like Naomi，driven out of the land of the Moabites out of necessity，knowig not what shall befall me in the land to which I am going．Friend，if you have tears to shed for me，shed them now．Bred up in poverty，crashed with family troubles from early boybood，health failing，and prospect darkening，I have to leave behind me my aged father and sickly mother，with but faint hope to be successful in the foreign land．Have my sins which I committed thus far，been the cause of so many sorrows to me？ Who of all my friends have tasted so many of such bitter cups？ Father， (116)I sink，I sink，unless thou liftest me up．Teach me to trust Thee during these horrible hours．Give me such a faith as to trust Thee even Thou killest me．
The meeting we had last year may be the last one we can I have upon this earth．If God will，I shall be able to see thee again；but at any rate，let us not fail to continue our friendship in heaven．Now accept my hearty gratitude for all thy kindness shown to me thus far．Pardon my misgivings；cast them out of thy mind I pray thee．Be kind enough to look after my brother as thou hast done thus far．Be my only friend and advocator though all others be turned against me．
Happy Kingo，thou art a blessed fellow，with nothing to blur thy vision of future，nothing to disturb thee in thy quiet study of Nature．To thy eye，the whole Nature is beauty，harmony，and love．Thou needest not to trouble thyself about thy way，for the outward circumstances guide thee smoothly．To me，however，there is nothing in the whole Universe where discord，contradictions and heartlessness are not found．The life is an illusion，−its outward covering is lovely and attractive；uncover the veil，and there we find awful menageries of all sorts of doleful creatures．Happy is he，whose vision is limited only to the lovely part，and whose determination is not to know the ugly features．But，Brotber，remember，thy knowledge is imperfect without the scrutiny of the whole．
I will write to thee from Philadelphia often．Perh1aps I shall be able to have a scholarsbip in Pennsylvania University．A man of sorrow needs not to fear anything in his way．Pray for me brother．
Wishing to see thee after the circumnavigation of the planet Earth．
Ever，ever，ever，thine，Kingo，
LON．
(117) 10月□日 【浅田於米様 安中駅旧城内 高崎ニテ 鑑三】
私義只今母并ニ弟一人ヲ引連レ当地ニ着仕候、コレヨリ直ニ伊香保ヘ向ケ出発致候、アナタニ御目ニカヽリ度存候間不速一寸ト御地マデ罷出候ヤモ不知、御話シ致シ度コト山ノ如シ、万事全能ノ神ニ任セ居候間御安心被下度願上候、
11月3日 【藤田九三郎殿 北海道日高国幌泉郡鹿野村 長岡正兵衛方ニテ 東京小石川上冨坂町 内村鑑三】
3rd，Nov．1884，
Tokio．
DeaT Friend：
Thanks for your kind letter．Glad to hear that you are as active as ever．
Now，friend，matter so came out that I determined to cross the ocean，and to renew my career in the English-Speaking countries．The reasons for taking such an adventurous step are numerous，and I wish you to ask of my brother in Sapporo for the same．I met with a trial hard as anything can be，for a Christian．All of my cherished hopes were blasted，and my domestic affairs were reduced to the most miserable condition．You can hardly imagine of my condition under such a severe blow．The reaction of all the pressures was the determination to leave the conntry for few years，thus to avoid the threatening shock．I tell you，brother，−My wife was a rascal，a skillful (118)wolf ［半角の空白］ in sheep's skin；and ∴ I determined to give her up．Take care in seeking for your wife．
I am going to Philadelphia chiefly through the introduction of Dr．Whitney．I advice you，brother，to come to America after me．Philadelphia is a good place for Engineers，I hear．There are already 6 Japanese in that occupation．Do not try to get a wife before you make a trip to America or Europe．After I am settled in Phd．I will write to you，and if you allow，I will try to find an occupation for you．Come！ Come，after me，brother．
Since I came to Tokio，several hardships visited me one after another．Indeed，I seldom passed a happy day here．There are many man-vonsolaters，and man-exhorters here；but how few，if any，of Christs-comforters！ How poor is the general standard of faithfulness and friendship in Tokio！ They join with me in time of prosperity and progress；but remain motionless in time of obstruction，Only using all kinds of murmurings．But，brother，trust me．Though I am worthless in every respect，and careless and forward in taking my steps，I wish yon to pity me as before，for I am trying to find out God's will．In case when I shall have to give up my ghost in foreign lands，be my advocator against the“howling wolves of the world”．You are among very few whose names are daily mentioned in my prayers，and whom I trust to be my future comforters and co-workers．Our lives are short，and the amount of actual works we can do during our life-time is，at best，very little；but we can bequeath our spirits，at least，to our posterity，so that our
“Forlorn and ship-wrecked brothers，
Seeing shall take heart again．”
Good-bye，then，brotber．Pray for me，as I will for you．
Yours ever，ever，in Christ，
(119) JON．K．UCHIURA．
In great haste．
P．S．The ship eill leave Yokohama on the 6th of this month．Only 4 days more in Japan．
11月四日 【宮部金吾殿行 北海道札幌南二条六丁目 東京小石川上冨坂 内村鑑三】
Tokio，
NOV．4th，1884．
Dearest Kingo：
I am now just on point of leaving my dear home for a strange land，and I wish to leave a word to you．The life with trials hard has pressed me．The human hearts and looks have deceived me．You can easily conceive of the heavenly blessings upon me when I tell you that I am very calm now，and though not without tears，I feel very near to my Savior．Amidst poverty and terrible confusions of the family，we are all singing songs of praise．I thank God that He has allowed me to partake of the bitter cups which He did taste for the human race．Dear Jesus，let I be Thine．Thou art my fellow sufferer；Thy bread and drink let me freely partake．I can realize Thy agony upon Gethsemane，and to Thy Cross I will come，bearing my own．
Inclosed is bill for Nat．you ordered．I will pay the said amount to Hiroi．AIso，I will ask you to buy Origin of Species and Descent of Man from my own library，for I am very poor now；and trusting that you will kindly do so，I will send them by the earliest opportunity．They are 5 yen in paper（original price 7 1/2 yen）．Thus I wish to reduce my debt to you to 5 yen．This I will (120)pay to you either by books or papers or anything which you want to order me in America．Of course，I should not compel you to buy these books；but as they are among your orders，I ask you to draw from my library at this great financial crisis．
Belove me，brother，and pray for me．I am thine，and thou art mine．None，to confess the truth，is dearer to me than you．So may I be to thee for ever．Good-bye，good bye．
JON．K．UCHIMURA．
I also send 3 copies of Nat．Jan．−March numbers，35 cts．each．They are to complete the volume for this year．Hence about 4 yen more debt to you．
11月5日 【浅田於ヨネ様 上州安中旧邸内 東京 内村鑑三ヨリ】
私義兼テ申上置キシ目的ヲ以テ、今日アメリカ国ヲ経テイギリス国ヘ出立仕候間此段申上候、万端主ニ委ネ、天父ニ耻ザル所置致候事故、左様御承知被下、私ノ為メニ御祈リ被下度願上候、
（行間余白ニ〕 私ノ決心ハ愚父ニ委ネ置候間、同人ヘ万端御掛合被下度、
12月22日 内村宜之殿行 【日本東京小石川上冨坂町十七番 Y．Ｕchimura Esq.No．17．Kami Tomizaka Machi，Koishikawa，Tokio，Japan
十二月廿一日米国ペンシルバニヤ州ヱルウヰン村ニ於テ認ム
家ヲ出テ已ニ四十余日ヲ経テ今日ハ五千里外ノ当地ニアリ、夢カ幻カト思フバカリニ御座候、桑港ニ留マル三日ニシテ有名ノ中央大鉄道ヲ取リ七昼夜ニシテ当州イリー府ニ着シ、ソレヨリ、ハリス婦ノ居住スル、ミードビ(121)ル府ニ至リ十日滞在仕リ、去ル十五日費府ニ着仕候、旅行中ノ記事ハ皆々奇ナル事ノミニテ何レヨリ書送致シテ宜シキヤ分リ不申、鉄道ノ旅行ハ汽船ノ旅行ヨリツラキコト幾倍ナルヲ知ラズ、当地ニ至ルマデ八昼夜半汽車ニ乗続ケ身体ハ非常ニ疲レ候ヱ共精神ノ強キ故カ別ニ苦労ニ思ヒ不申、至ル所支那人トマチガヘラルヽニハ閉口仕候、然シ一度日本人ト知ラルヽ上ハ甚ダ深切ナル取扱ヲ受ケ申候 〇今日マデ非常ノ深切ヲ蒙リシハ、ハリス婦ニシテ、児ノ、ミードビル府ニ着スルヤ婦ノ妹｜ムコステーション〔傍線〕迄迎ヒニ出クレ直ニ同婦ノ家ニ連レクレ、其夜ハ同所ニ留メクレ種々イタハリクレ、実ニ感謝スルニ余リアリタリ、翌日ハ近所ノ極ク便利ナル場所ニ連レクレ一週間二ドルニテ下宿致サセクレ候ニ付誠ニ都合宜シク、殊ニ、ハリス婦ノ配慮ニテ種々児ノ方向ヲ談ジクレ且ツ婦ノ朋友親戚ニ書送シテ児ノ事ヲ依頼致シクレ実ニ児ノ該地滞在中ハハリス婦ハ児ノ為メニ全力ヲ尽シクレ候、又種々慰メクレ児ノ米国滞在中ハ児ノ姉同様ニ出来ル丈ケ世話致ス由申クレ児モ力ヲ得ルコト不尠、実ニ同婦ノ心底ニ感服仕儀、又ミードビル滞在中ハ多クノ朋友ヲ作リ出立スル時ハ涙ヲ以テ別レ申候、費府ニ着スルヤ直ニ、ホヰツトニー氏ヨリ照会ノ人々ヲ尋ネ候処何レモ探切ニ扱ヒクレ少シモ外国ニアルノ心地ハ致シ不申、直ニ有名ノ、モーリス氏ニ会シ種々依頼致シ候処氏ノ申スニハ当時ハ非常ノ不景気ニテ業ヲ目付ケルハ甚ダ難キ由、尤モ出来ル丈ケハ尽力致シクレル由申クレ候、依テベン／＼トシテ費府ニ留マルモ無益ノ事ト存ジ費府ヨリ十六英里南ニ当リ｜ミデヤ〔傍線〕ト申ス処ニハリス婦ノ伯父ニシテグリフィス氏ト申ス者居住致シ居リ、ハリス婦ヨリ私ノ事ニ付テ種々依頼致シクレ置候故費府ニ滞在二日ノ後同所ニマカリ越シ同氏ニ面会致シ候処同氏モ甚ダ深切ニ致シクレ一泊仕リ種々世話ニ相成リ申候、ミデヤ〔傍線〕ヲ距ルヽ半里ニシテ｜エルウヰン〔傍線〕ト申ス処ハ当州育児院ノアル処ニシテ院長ドクトル、カルリン氏ナル者ニ面会致シ候処氏ハ実ニ深切ナル人物ニシテ面会ノ日ヨリ氏ノ内ニ留メ置クレ今日ニテ四日同氏ニ滞在致居候、当院ハ実ニ隆ナル者ニシテ在院ノ男女四百六十余名、教師、役員五十余名ニシテ日々院内ヲ巡視致シ居 得ル処甚ダ多シ、依テ先ヅ二週間程ハ当所ニ滞在ノ積リニ御座候間左様御承知被下度奉願候 〇先日ホヰットニー氏ヨリ彼ノ一件ニ付一寸申上候ヱ共、児ニ於テハ一度意ヲ決セシ事故今後如何様ニナル(122)トモ｜一所〔付○圏点〕ニハ相成不申、若シ教理上離別致シ難トナラバ児帰国ノ上ハ里ニ預ケ置キ生活丈ケハ致サセ置ベシ、夫ヲ偽ハリ父母ニ対シテ不呈ヲナシ何ノ面在テ再ビ家ニ帰ルト云ハンヤ、児ハ父母ヲ捨テヽ天国ニ入ルヲ欲セズ、児ノ不孝已ニ足レリ、今日ヨリハ精神ヲ尽シ前日ノ不孝ヲ価フノミ、故ニ若シ妻タル者ノ所置ハ他人ニマカス事能ハズトノ事ナレバ｜御両親ニハ決シテ御カマイナク一々私方マデ間合スベキ様〔付○圏点〕御申シ被下度、一時ノ誤トナレバ幾重ニモ許スベシ、前以テクワ立シ所業如何ニシテ許サン、児ハ天父ノ前ニ出ルトモ決シテ此点ニ付テハ恐レ不申候 〇不運ナル鑑三、今ハ異国ノ客トナリ頭ヲ枕スル所ナク青海ニタヾヨウ有様トナリ前途暗ク迷フ有様ニ至リ、思ヘバ涙数行血眼言語ナキニ至ル、嗚呼主ヨ、我ノ罪ヲ許シ玉ヘ、我若シ再ビ国ニ帰ルヲ得ズバ願クハ我弟ノ内一人ナリトモ我ニ替ハリ我父母ニ孝養ヲ尽シ我志ヲ続シ玉ヘ、我主ノ為メニ尽サント欲シ返テ主ニ向テ大罪ヲヲカシタリ、我主ヨリ恵ヲ受クルニ不適当ナルモノナリ、若シ御意ナラバ再ビ国ニ帰ルヲ許シ賜ヘ、只主ノ御意ヲ為サシメヨ、アーメン 〇明日ハ費府ニ参リ｜モーリス〔傍線〕氏ニ面会シ再ビ依頼致スツモリニ御座候、然シ如何ニ相成ヤ別リ不申、然シ決シテ餓死ハセヌツモリナリ、只正直ニ神ノ命ヲ待ツノミ、艱難ハ勿論前以テノ承知ノ事ナレバ別ニ意トナサズ是モ人生ノ一経験決シテ御心配ナサルマジク、事ノナルトナラザルハ一ニ神意ニアリ、只一ツノ事ヲ知ル、即チ心ヲ尽シ力ヲ尽シ神ニ事フレバ神必ズ我等ヲ拾テザルヲ 〇只今費府ニ参リ諸事周旋中ニ御座候、願クハ天父ノ恵ヲ御祈リクダサランコトヲ 〇昨夜日曜ニテ旧約聖書創成記ヤコブ家ヲ出ゾル処ノ記事ヲ読ミ大ニ慰ミ申候
十ニ月廿ニ日費府ニ於テ 鑑三
父上様
（大戸老母ニ宜シク、達三郎ハ近日書送致ス積リニ御座候）
(123) 一八八五年（明治一八年） 二五歳
1月4日 内村宜之宛
元旦ノ慶賀ヲ呈ス、懼ロシキ明治十七年モ無滞打過ギ又新年ヲ向ヱルヲ得シハ又無限神ノ恵ト感謝仕候、西言アリ曰ク人間一生ハ一通ノ旅路ニシテ最モ可悲事ハ一度通リシ道ハ再ビ践ムコトヲ得ザルニアリト、明治十七年ハ鑑三ノ疫年、嗚呼再ビ如新年ハ来ラザルヲ望ム
先日申上シ通リ私義ドクトル、ケルリン氏ニ泊リ居非常ノ深切ヲ受ケ一家挙テ私ヲイタハリクレ実ニ感盟ノ至リニ不堪、サテアル日ケルリン氏ト談話ノ後児ノ構神ヲ打明シ且ツ児今日ノ有様ヲ悉細ニ話シ候処、氏モ大ニ感ジクレ涙ヲ下シクレ申様、然ラバ氏ノ受持ノ ペンシルヴニヤ州病院ニテ九ケ月ノ間少シク米国ノ人情ヲ知ラン為メ働クベシ、給金ハ十六ドルニテ食事洗濯等ハ一細病院ニテ受持ツベシ、来ル九月ニ至ラバ如何カ法方ヲ目付ケ同州大学校ニ入学ノ法方ヲ立ツベシト、実ニ父ノ其子ヲ見ル如ク且ツ慰メ且ツ勧メクレ児モ不知／＼落涙ニ及ビ申候、実ニ如斯屈強ナル機械ハ得難ヲ知り堅ク依頼致候処承知致シクレ、一月一日ヨリ業ニ付候間先ヅ御安心被下度奉願候、当院ハ米国ニテモマレナル者ニテ入院大凡六百名ニシテ実二盛大ヲ尽セシ者ニ御座候、役員ハ重ニ婦人ニテ一同ノ深切言ハン方ナシ、皆々児ヲ愛シクレ誠ニ痛ミ入申候、給金ハ十六弗ナレ共食事其他ハ少クモ三十弗ハカヽリ候間四五十弗ノ給料ニ均シ、嗚呼恵アル神ハ児ヲ捨賜ハズ、家ヲ去テ万里ノ遠キニアルモ直ホ斯恵ヲ賜トハ実ニ感謝スベキコトニ御座候、御序ノ節父上ヨリドクトル、ケルリン氏ヘ一筆ノ謝状ヲ下賜ハラバ児(124)直訳シテ氏ニ呈スベク侯間同氏ヘ宛一筆御認メ御送リ被下度願上候
米国ニ着シテヨリ旅宿ニアリシハ僅カ二三日、余ハ皆友人ノ家ニアリテ役介ニナリ居レリ、之又大ナル恵ナラズヤ
ハリス婦ノ伯父グリフス氏ナル者モ実ニ深切ナル人ニテ一週間ニ一度ヅヽ参リ食事ヲ馳走ニ相成候、氏ハ五十歳程ニシテ児ヲ見ル矢張子ノ如ク御座候、氏ノ家ハ当所ヨリ十二町ノ南ニアリ
曾テ在京ノ節ヨリ手紙ヲ送リ居リシ マッカラ氏ナル者モ度々児ヲ訪問致クレ今朝ハ汽車ニテ氏ノ宅ヲ訪ヒシ処非常ノ取扱ヲ受ケ、ステーションニ達スルヤ馬車ヲ以テ向ヒニ出クレ帰途モ馬車ニテ送リクレ申候、留マルコト六時間種々馳走ニ相成帰宅致候、氏ノ一家皆々好人物ニテ誠ニ宜シキ一家ニ御座候、ミストル、ウチムラ、余ガ家ヲ君ノ家トナシ何時デモ来リ自由ニ為シ玉ヘヨ、何事ニモ出来ル丈ケ御世話致スベシ″ト皆々申クレ候
其他ホヰツトニー氏ノ友人ニテモ深切ナル人数多アリ、其内ニテモ モーリス氏竝ビニ氏ノ妻君、ブルース氏、サンド氏ノ如キハ日本国ニテハ見難キ人物ニ御座候
ソレ故当時ハ少シモ外国ニ居ル心地ハ致シ不申、親友モ追々出来シ言語モ追々分リ始メ誠ニ愉快ニ御座候、度々日本服ヲ着シ諸氏ヲ楽マシ候、明治十八年ハ一月一日ヨリ如斯慶報ヲ呈スルヲ得ルナリ、又楽シカラズヤ ○金子ハ未ダ八十弗アリ、之用心金トシテタクワヘ置候
サテ昨年ノシリヌグヒ事件ニ付テハ聞クモヲソロシ、思フモヲソロシク候ヱ共猪ヲ食ヒシ報ヒ已ムヲ得ズ、若シ万々一諸氏ガ離別ノ説ニ服セザルトキハ御両親ニハ一向御カヽリ合無之様願上候、私ヨリハ決シテ同人ヘ手紙等ハ送リ不申候ヱ共若シ何ニカ申度事アラバ私マデ申越ス様御申聞被下度、又万々一妊シンニ御座候バ何分願上候、児一生ノ大失策今日悔ユルモ甲斐ナシ只後日ヲ謹シムノミ、右事件ニ付テハ可成丈御報知被下間敷、之児ノ精神ヲ砕キ申侯、是甚ダ我儘ナル事ナレ共願上候
母上ノ御病気ハ如何ニ御座候ヤ、私儀無余金子ヲ持参致シ、サゾカシ御不都合ノ事ト存ジ御推察申上候、私儀(125)モ万事節□ヲ事トシ一日モ早ク業ヲ卒ヘ帰国ヲ祈リ居候、後来ハ暗クトモ神アレバコソ心安ク願クハ不絶御祈リ被下度願上候
私ノ用事ハ病人ノ監守ニテ隔夜ノ事ナレバ勉強ノ機ハ沢山有之候、当所ハ費府ヨリ十七マイル程ニテ実ニ瀞カナル所ニ御座候、太田氏、広井氏等トハ手紙ノヤリ取ヲ致シ居候
児ノ房ハ二間ニ三間程ノ美ナル者ニシテ、ガス灯アリ又熱湯ヲ以テ温メル機械アリ甚ダ便利ナリ、毎日洋食ニテ甚ダ愉快ニ御座候、然シ思フタ程ウマクハナシ、米国人ノ食事ニヲゴルハ世界一ニテ極々下等ノ人ニテモ日本人ノ中等以上ノ食事ヲ致シ居候
米国ニ来リシヨリ已ニ四十日ナレ共湯ニ入リシコトハ二度ナリ、桑港ニテ一度、当所ニテ一度、然シ余リキタナクハナシ
ケルリン氏ノ勧メニテ今秋ハ大学校ニ入ルノ用意ヲ致サン為メ毎日勉強致居候、然シ今日マデ学ビシ者ノ内ニテ聖書程役ニ立ツ者ハナシ、独リ外国ニアリテ事ヲ取ルニ及ンデハ精神ノ堅カラザレバ迚モ為難シ、今日ニ至リ益々基督ノ宝血ノ価ヲ悟リ申候、今時已ニ午後九時ナリ、東京小石川ノ家ハ五日ノ正午十ニ時頃ナランカ、一万里外ノコヽニアリテモ同ジ神ニ祈ルヲ得ルト思ヘバ別ニカナシクモナシ、嗚呼、神ヨ若シ御意ニ叶ハヾ我等一家ヲ再ピ一所ニ集メ玉ヘ、然レ共若シ主ノ御意ニ由リ地上ニテ相会スルヲ得ズバ皆々天国ノ悦ヲ得シ玉ヘ、アーメン
米国ペンシルバニヤ州デレウエヤ郡エルウヰン町ドクトル、ケルリン方ニテ 鑑三
〔余白ニ〕 二週間ニ一度ヅヽ書送スル積リニ御座候、別紙ノ状袋ニテ御手紙ヲ被下度、
〔余白ニ〕 大戸老母ニ児ノ心ヲ通ズル事ヲ御忘レ被下マジク候
(126) 1月7日 【宮部金吾宛 米国ペンシルヴァニヤ州エルウイン ケルリン博士方より】
C/O Dr．Kerlin，EIwyn，Pa.，
Jan．7th，1885．Dear Kingo：
I am happy to write this letter from the country，whose science，philosophy，and religion have been our mutual delight and consolation．The formidable '84 has rolled away，and the new year has come with better prospects of future．Away from home 10,000 miles，I am now deaf and blind to those horrible scenes which may beset me in my home-land．
“Far from the dear delights
Of friends and home，
Summoned by life's high call
A pilgrim I roam；
God makes my darkness light，
My winter，bloom，”
The trials of this life is too thin a covering；the providence of God breaks everywhere．On the night of the last day of 1884，I was alone in my room，meditating upon my future，and reflecting upon my past．The year was really the severest one I ever had．Drifted hither by a tempest，l was“ringing the old year away”，full of failures and disappointments．Firstly，what a frail creature am I！ With the utmost to serve God，what a mighty mistake have I fallen into！ What a (127)misery，what a sorrow！ God，search me．Has my heart been ever turned to“beds of ivory”，or“calves of the stall”，or“the sound of the viol”？ While l was thus murmuring，a wind touched my heart with a distinct voice
“Not the labors of thy hand
Can fulfill the Law's demand．”
“Stop murmuring，my soul”cried I；“thou，like Luther，hast been trying to justify thyself with thy works”．“Just shall live by faith”．“Look to Jesus upon the cross；trust upon Him，and cleanse thyself in Him，and in Him alone”．I bursted into tears．I had felt myself to be blameless because I tried my best，and with right intention．No，I am all unrighteousness．Thank God，for His mercy in Christ Jesus．
Brother，to me this world is nothing．Through the knowledge of Christ，I can inherit the crown of glory．Now，I can say with Simeon，Lord，let thy servant pass in peace，for my eye hath seen thy salvation．Thou knowest me，brother，very well．It is very improbable that my languid body may not allow me to see thee again u，pon this earth．But，brother，please remember thy weak friend，who，often，for thy sake，shed tears，and loved thee more than himself．In case I shall be no more，be kind enough to look after my brotber，that he may be able to cheer my aged parents，to whom I gave unspeakable troubles．Let thy energy be spent for our dear church in Sapporo，which is my joy and hope．Let this my ambition be fulfilled，i.e. when anyone is going to write an account of the church，to insert a name J．K．U．among its hearty patrons．With these 遺言，then I go to my work vigorously．
I am glad to report thee that I settled myself in the address of this letter．Here I met a very (128)kind man，Dr．Kerlin，and his wife，and I am now in his Hospital，seeking for an opportunity to enter Penn．University．I am studying physiology now．I，with Sydney Smith，“like the Study of man and woman more than that of trees and grass”．I have here many good friends，but not one like that“cactaceous fellow”，whom I left in Sapporo．Ota is in Baltimore about 150 miles away．Hiroi is in St．Louis．
I enjoy Quakers very much．They all like to hear about Sapporo church very much．They like our system of“unpaid-ministry”．Quakers are all good men，−deeply spiritual．They are going to send out their missionaries to Japan．
How is thy work going on？ When am I to congratulate thee and THINE？ I have already completed my course，and am now a graduate of that school．Write me no more about my diploma（!!）Let the wind blow wherever it listeth．
My best regards to all dear fellows in Sapporo．I think“the boys”are now grave and fatherly．Tell them that I am trying my best to plead the cause of Sapporo Church to many sympathizing hearts．Tell them that I do not forget Sapporo．Ten hours after the sun crosses the meridian of Philadelphia，my heart travels with its wlngs of love and imagination to that white-painted building in 南二条，when out of its deep regret for its inability to do anything for that dear HOME，it burst into earnest supplication for the support and growth of the Church．To Fujita，to whom I will write soon，my best，best regards．The bell has rung for my duty．Wish to hear from thee soon．My best regards to thine．May God bless you both，and not deal with you as He hath dealt with me．
Ever thine friend，
(129)
KANZ※［Oの上に長音記号］ UCHIMURA．
Tell brother please that I will write soon．
1月19日 【太田稲造宛 在米 米国ペンシルヴァニア州エルウインより】
EIwyn，Jan．19th，1885，Evening．
Ever Dear Monque：
Thine of Xtmas was duly received，and I need not write here the new emotions which thou awakened in my heart by that letter．There is one photograph which is ever so sweet to me，and，i.e. of the“Sapporo triumvirate”．The innocent“cactaceous”face of Kabo，Carlylistic，“empty-pocketed”face of Mr．Ota Tsuneteru，and equally empty+hearted look of myself，are too realistic as a picture．Methinks，that fine day in the Kwairakuen，when we 3 talked together of our future！ Ah！ what tremendous failures since that memorable day！ Out of 21 boys who occupied the cabins of the Gembu-maru to Sapporo 8 were providentially“differentiated”into one peculiar circle．But ever since，Kabo，thyself and myself commenced to study 立志編 and received a“severe criticism”from the cutting lips of the Uncle Fret，the differentiation went one step further，and finally evolved the Sapporo triumvirate．Brother，to my eye，the process did not stop there．The ardency of friendship seems to be inversely proportional to the member of friends．If 8 be reduced to 3，tbe spirit of Love is increased l/3−1/8＝5/8［sic］．Can'st thou recall to thy memory that serene scene in Ikao，When，after a calm prayer under the shades of Umoto，we two expressed our aim，hope，fear，and found them to be ONE？ The blessed be the tie that binds．And is it not rather singular (130)that within few months of our separation in different hemispheres，we are now so near to each other，only 6 or 7 hours by the steam！and for the same purpose．I do not mean to say by this that the FAMOUTHS［sic］is to be disregarded，muCh less that the Triumvirate be disappreciated．
I am getting along very well here．My duty is to be a night-watch every other night，and to such the lowest grade of Imbeciles 3 hours a day in walking，Climbing ladders，and using dumbbells．These are very interesting cases among them．I wish thee to visit us some day．Dr．Kerlin will be very glad to have thee come and stop with me．I have a small room 10 ft.square，and tolerably well furnished．Have abundance to read．Receive many letters，mostly from ladies（!!!!！）．Have a pretty good number of friends in Philadelphia．Mr．McCalla，the publisher of the Am．Natur．and one of my correspondents while I was in Japan lives 3 miles from here．He is exceedingly kind to me．Let me know something about thy circle．
I received a letter from Japan，which，seemed to contain many fascinating news．It was she who wrote me．I simply looked overit，and then consigned it to the sewerage．Cold as it may seem，the now is not the time to be moved by“tears and faithful words．”She wronged me to the greatest possible extent．Thou mayest be astonished to hear of her behaviours．I do not know what comes to me further．I have sinned to God，and to parents，and not less to thee．I have“no face”to write such a news to thee，wereit not for thy never changing friendship for me．I have no excuse before all．It may be that to err is mankind；but to err so much as I did，is sub-mankind．
“The mistakes of my life are many，
The sins of my heart are more；
I can scarcely see for weeping，
(131) But I will knock at the door．”
I am extremely glad to see thee in Religious earnestness．God and Christ are very clear to me now．Though I am imperfect in every respect，I am righteousness because of Christ．God created the earth in Seven days，where，not morning and evening，but EVENING AND MORNING were a day．We oftentimes pass into spiritual evening，and thence into darkness，“which dark is as darkness itself”（Job）and after due wanderings，He gives us a Morning Star．We are growing wiser every day，if God lead us．I am now reading Havergal's works．She teaches me a great deal．There are many good ladies in this Institution and they are all extremely kind to me．Mrs．Morris，a Quaker，and wealthy lady，is now my good friend．I am going to stop at her on coming Friday．I am still a 田舎モノ，even in America．I was in Philadelphia only twice．Ever since I have been confined upon the top of the EIwyn Hill，spending my times among“fooIs”．No wonder then that I am becoming a fool more and more．
Write me in thy leisure．Let us exchange letters，at laest once in two weeks．Answer this letter next week，and I wikk answer thee one week after．Pray for me，as I am ALWAYS praying for you．Ever thine，
LON．
2月16日 【太田稲造宛 在米 米国ペンシルヴァニア州エルウインより】
Elwyn，Feb．16th，1885．
My Dear Monque：
(132) Thine o flast week was duly received，and was read with great interest，and much benefit to myself．That little book“Infhence of Jesus”，has given me a wonderful light，and I thank God that my life has become very bright to me．In Jesus and his life，I find the explanation of many difficulties which buffetted me thus far．From the spiritual position which I now occupy I cast my eyes over my past life，and while feel exceedingly sorrowful for its enormous failures，I thank God that“hither by help I come”．I might have become the victim of my sins and mistakes instead of being raised from lower to upper atmosphere．I have no friend to hold spiritual communion，but I feel now very pleasant，always thinking upon man's holy capabilities，and salvation through Christ Jesus．The following is my night thought while I was on duty one night．Do not look from its literary point of view．
1．Softly thro' the calms of nighjt
Sounds the bell for sweet good-night．
“North home，2nd floor all right”，
Then to the rest go I might．
2．The restless mind the work counts
Of the day to what it amounts．
The world was busy all the day，
While my time was fleeting away．
3．The valor of the Soudan Black
(133) Kept the Queen's Army slack；
The Italia's fleet stopped the ebb
From the gate of Bab-el-mandeb．
4．The message from the East tell
To the band of Tri-color fell．
The stronghold of the“Son of Sun”
In the battle of Keenlung．
5．Call for arms echoes thro' the land
Of the Rising Sun，to stand
Against China's cruel demand
From the Sons of Coma land．高麗（Corea）
6．For me a work on EIwyn hill
Is appointed to fuufill；
To teach how ladders to climb
And to march by marking time．
7．Thrilling joys to see a boy
Playing with a fanciful toy，
(134) Or to hear a dumb girl talk
To the same disabled folk．
8．Am I not in prime of youth，
（Though in body and mind uncouth），
To fetch a prize in World's Fare
And its wealth and comforts share？
9．While my fath'r､−land is calling
For its youths to “Push a wheel”
On its onward march rolling
Forcing Kara's Kings 唐ノ大将 to kneel．
10．Why I stay here in strange land
Tears and sorrows to withstand，
Seeking for men of feeble-mind，
The most outcast of mankind？
11．Ah！ my wandering heart be still
Like that moon on Media* hill；
The creator of earth and star
(135) Knows what thy efforts use．
＊Just on opposite of EIwyn hill．
12．'Tis not then my life to dwell
'Mid the joys of home，sWeet home，
Nor for the wide world to spell
Mv name wherever I roam．
13．While the Satan devastate
The Earth with its sin and woe；
Till the Pre-Adamic state．
Be restored to man below，
14．By blood of Christ that was shed
On the Calvary's bold head，
Let me worldly joys and ties
For the moaning earth sacrifice．
Office is closing；so good-bye．Write me next week．
AIways Thine，
JON．K．U．
I will answer your questions on next letter．Remember，the“poem”took much of my time．
(136) 2月22日 内村宜之宛 〔□は欠損箇所だが、入力上の都合により一字文とは限らない〕
ベンシルバニヤ州ヱルウヰン町
明治十八年二月二十二日
今日ハ天気晴々トシテ実ニ好天気ナリ、日曜日ナレバ又患者ヲ引連レ会堂ニ参ル日ニ御座候、先便ヲ以テ申上シ通リ当所ハ田舎ノコトナレバ別ニ差シタル面白キ事ナク只日々ノ業ニ逐ハレ消光スルノミニ御座候、左スレバ家ヲ出シヨリ已ニ百日□上ニ相成候ヱ共未ダ一通ノ御便リナク□誠ニ心配致居候間早々一通ノ御花□ヲ玉ハリ度願上候
来ルニ十七日ハ費府婦人ノ会合日□シテ児モ殊別ノ招待ヲ受ケ候間出府致スツモリニ御座候、当地ニ於テハ紳士ヨリハ婦人ノ方ガ高尚ナル位置ヲ占メ居候故、婦人ノ招待ヲ受クルハ人ノ名誉トスル所ニ御座候、其節ハ博士サイル氏ヲ訪フツモリニ御座候、其他来ル三月十三日ニハ博士リーマン氏ヨリ招待ヲ受ケ居候間同氏宅ニ一泊スル積リニ御座候、訪問スルトキハ日本服ヲ着用シ申候
当院ノ事業ハ随分難ク朝ヨリ夕マデ心身ヲ苦シメ候、勿論家ヲ出ヅルトキヨリ艱難ハ承知ノ事ナレバ別□意トモナサヾレ共時々涙ニ袖ヲウ□申候、顧レバ本月十四日ハ児ノ生日ニシテ二十四歳ニ成リ申候ヱ共、世ニ差シタル業ヲナサズ、今日ハ身ヲ海外ニ投ジ病院ノ下僕トナルヲ思ヘバ心胆共ニ□ハツルバカリニ御座候、然レ共之ゾ□山ノ苦業ト思ヒ忍ビ居候、時々ハ□人ノ位置ヲ浦山敷思ハザルニハアラザレ□古ノ英雄ヲ思ヒ人間ノ一生ハ決シ□安楽ニ出デザルヲ悟リ独リ慰メ居候、只常ニ児ノ心身ヲ痛メルハ児十一歳ノ時ヨリ殊別ノ教育ヲ受ケナガラ一ツトシテ其恩ヲ報ヒシコトナキノミナラズ、己ノ勝手ニマカセ一家ニ非常ノ心配ヲ掛ケ今日ノ有様ニ成行、何ント申シテ免ヲ乞ハンカヲ不知、神ニ事ヘント欲シテ返テ神意ニ反キ、益々罪ニ罪ヲ重ネ、サゾカシ御両親ニ(137)ハ御不満足ノ事ト存ジ候ヱ共御簡免ノ程伏テ願上候
母上ノ御病気ハ如何ニ御座候ヤ伺申上候、当地ノ寒気ハ随分甚ダシク朝ヨリ夕マデ零度以下ノ事度々有之候、□故病人モ多ク当院モ多忙ニ御座候
別紙ハ当院ノ略図ニシテ建築費大凡五十万弗ニシテ其巧造ハ随分盛大ナル者ニ御座候、日本国ニテハ如斯病院ハ迚モ見ル事ハ難カシカルベシ
牛後ニ時、只今会堂ヨリ帰ル、路加伝十九章十節ノ説教ニテ実ニ感動□願クハ児ノ如キ信者ノ行ヨリ基督教□判ジ玉ハザランコトヲ願フ
家ヲ出テヨリ常ニ肉食ヲ致ス故カ心身ヲ労スルト雖ドモ益々肥大ニ赴キ申候、早ク完全ナル人間トナリ世ニ一大事業ヲナシ度ソレノミ望ミ居候
未来ハ如何ニナルカ知ラザレ共、心何ントナク安ク、今夏ハ当所ヨリ西北五百里ニ当テ、ミシガン州ノ一婦人児ヲ招キ候間罷出度存居候、金銀ハ持タザレ共一身ノ事ナレバ自由ニ奔走スルコトヲ得愉快ニ存候、一方ヨリ見レバ彼ノ難事ハ難事ナレ共、又一方ヨリ見レバ児ニ取テハ大幸福トナリシト存候、今日ハ欧州モ已ニ近隣ノ如クナリ、先日已ニ英国ニ手紙ヲ送リ置タレバ不日ロンドン府ニ赴クヤモ不□青年何ンゾ(138)区々タル事ニ心ヲ労シ大事ヲ量ラザル、西諺ニ曰ク菓物搾ラザレバ美味ナル酒ヲ生ゼズト、人間モ艱難ヲ通リヌケザレバ善人タルヲ得ズ、イザ社界ノ大難ヲ通過シ鉄石ノ如キ精神ヲ以テ国ニ帰ラン、神ヨ我ヲ□リ玉ヘ
西洋人ノ外部ヲカザルハ御存知ノコトト□候、然シ身体ノ清ケツナルハ迚モ日本人□及バズ、イヤハヤ雪イン等ノ不ケツハ驚入□候、故ニ病院ノ下僕ノ状御推察被下度シ
当地ニ来リシヨリ読書ハ沢山致候、別ニ深キ朋友トテハナキコトナレバ書物ヲ朋友トナシ朝ヨリ夕マデ読続ケルコトモ有之候、米国ニハ学者モ多ケレ共無学ノ者モ随分多シ、学術デハ余マリ尻ノ法ニ位スルトハ思ヒ申サズ、｜内村君、アナタハ余マリ書物ヲ読ミ過ギマス〔付○圏点〕トアル婦人ヨリ注告ヲ受ケ申候
余又後便ニ申上候 頓首
鑑三ヨリ
大戸老母始メ親類方ヘ宜敷願上候
□ノ一件ハ何分願上候 児ノ心決セリ □キ不申、手紙ガ来レバ火葬致シ候
3月1日 【太田稲造宛 在米 米国ペンシルヴァニア州エルウインより】
“Home of Crazy Folks，”EIwyn，Pa.,
March 1st，'85．
Dear Mon teki，
Thine of 26th ult．was duly received last night，when I returned from Philadelphia．To-day，I feel very lonely，and am now in my“dew”musing upon“past and future”．Awful past，one continuous blank of failures and mistakes！ Promising future，only in Christ! But amidst those dreary (139)paths through which I travelled for these 8 years，what a sweet recollection to think of those loving hearts，which time and circumstances gave no rusts．If to err is human，I am intensely so．Ah！ those crazy hours，when I found one whom I called my“elder sister”，and loved that sister more than my parents！ O！ those horrible time in Satan's devices，when I was a slave to my passionate love，which I mistook to be Divine！
年ヲ経テ浮世ノ橋ヲ顧《カヘリ》見レバ
如何ニアヤウク渡リツルカナ
Thanks be to Him who saved me from the danger．Thanks be to Him，who still preserves for me，a friend amidst my frequent indifference and even cold-heartedness to him！
I have nothimg very interesting from Japan．Dr．Whitney writes me frequently．I received no letter from home．I do not know the reason why“she”wrote me twice，but I throw the letters to the fre．I have 時事新報 and 自由−，and if thou wantest，I may send them to thee．Yesterday I was in Phil．and had a very nice-time．I spoke twice in Philadelphia about Japan．I saw Dr．Syle，the former professor of History at Tokio University，and found him to be an excellent old man，though somewhat eccentric jn manners．Mr．andMrs．Morris of Penn'a R．R．Co．is very kind to me．I also went to St．Mary's St．the poorest section of the city，and had a meeting with some of the poorest people of the place．The meeting was solemn and earnest．I was especially struck with the faith and earnestness of an old negrowoman．She is blind，has a drunkard husband，lost a child a few weeks ago，and the only remnant of her sons is liying in sick-bed up-stairs．But，O，the calmness of the woman！ When I went there，she was so much pleased with my visit that she stood out of the door，and commenced to call her neighbors to come to her house and see me．She (140)sung loudly“Come to Jesus”，and preached very eloquently for sometime．Her words were piercing，and I was greatly ashamed of my faith．I was convinced more than ever that the happiness of life does not consist in our position in the society，but in the possession of that precious faith，which is in Christ Jesus．The meeting had a great effect upon my mind．A lady told me that she has been blind for 26 years，and though often told by others to remove to more salubrious section of the city，She refused to do so，saying that she consjders it to be her duty to stay in that poorest section，to help the people．When thou comest to the city，I wish to take thee to her．
Notwithstanding many abuses and mistakes in American churches，there are many saints，Paul．Don't bark at them，and injure the feeling of a delicate lady．Rise up higher and higher，till those small hills and valleys below us fade into one level plane．The eagle flying thro' the sky does not care about rivers and rocks that lie below．Stop 例ノイジワルコン情鼻マガリ．銭ガナイト思テムヤミニ人ニカミ付テモ誰レモカマイハセナイゾ．
One of the greatest achievements which I made since I came to EIwyn is to have my eye single．When I look at what men say about the Bible，Christ，etc., I commence to sink．Only ONE thing to depend upon，even the Rock of Ages，and as long as I stand there，my“whole body is full of light”．I do not know how it is with thee；but with me，U．S．A．does'nt look like a new country to me．I cannot realize that I am 10,000 miles away from home．The reason is，I believe，that my inward world observes a large part of my attention，so that I don't care much about what is going on outside．I want to make myself“the same man thro' eternity”．If I make a complete world within myself，I have the world under my foot．Firmly fixed in His love，I can be sO made as to be unmovable，bold，and straight under any circumstance．The outward circum(141)stances may give different colors to my hfe，but the shape will remain the same．This is ∴ my present trial，and it is not hopeless．
How can I meet with thee？ Now the fare from EIwyn to Baltimore is ＄2.79 one Way，and there is two trains every day on Phil．Wilm．＆ Bal．R．R．Central R．R．So by earning ＄6.00，we can see each other．The amount looks“inconceivable”with thee？ I think I will write a short story about Japan，and sell it to get the said amount．Give me thy idea．
Spent an hour already in writing this．
Thine，thine，till death and thro' Eternity， LON SAMA．
My present condition is，
Crazy folks are always mad
Want of money makes me sad．
3月8日 内村宜之宛 【Mr．Uchimura Yoshiyuki No．17，Kami Tomizaka Machi，Koishikawa，Tokio，Japan】
明治十八年三月八日米国ペンシルバニヤ、ヱルウヰン村ニ於テ認ム
今日ハ雪天ニテ内ニアリ、人間一生ノ大事ヲ思ヒ消光致居候、在本国父母兄弟ニハ皆々御無事ニアランコトト推察致居候、一日モ早ク御手紙ヲ受ケ度掘手持居候
去ル二月廿七日ハ費府婦人会ヨリ招待ヲ受ケ参上致シ演説致シ大ニ愉快ヲ極メ候、其節ハ旧開成学校教師博士サイル氏ニ面会致シ種々本国ノ事ニ付テ談ジ、且ツ私身上ノ事ニ付テモ談話致候処、氏モ大ニ受納致シクレ、後(142)来必ズ助力致サントノ事ニテ色々教訓致シクレ候、其夜ハ、ヲバルブリックス村ト申ス処ニ参り、ホヰットニー氏ノ知人モーリス氏ニ一泊シ、日本人諸氏ニ会シ久振リニテ日本語ニテ話ヲ致シ愉快ヲ尽シ申候、
私身上ニ付テハ諸氏モ大ニ心配致シクレ候ヱ共、当院長ケルリン氏ハ殊ノ外能ク世話ヲ致シクレ、且ツ氏ハ私ノ事ヲ思フノミナラズ日本国ノ為メニ私ヲ世話致シクル事ニテ、永遠ノ思慮ヲ廻ラシ私方向ノ事ニ付テ誘導致シクレル事ニ御座候故、万端同氏ノ云フマヽニ致シ候方後来ノ為メト存ジ断然他ヲ断ハリ、先ヅ当院ニ在テ神ノ他ニ宜シキ道ヲ開キ賜フヲ待ツ積リニ御座候、故ニ昨日又々費府ヘ参り、モーリス氏并ニ婦人ニ会シ児ノ意ヲ通ジ候処大ニ満足致シクレ候、如斯身ハ海外ニアルト雖ドモ、児ノ為メニ思ヒクレル者沢山ニアルハ又神ノ大恵ト云ハザルヲ得ンヤ、御両親ニハ私ノコトニ付テハ決シテ御心配下サラザランコトヲ祈ル、由テ今日ノ考ヘニテハ当九月迄ハ当地ニ止マリ然ル後又前途ヲ定ムル積リニ御座候 〇昨日午後費府ヘ参リ候途中汽車ニテ児ノ左リニ居候人、児ヲ見、日本ノ事ヲ話シ且ツ日本語ニテ話シ候故、児モ大ニ驚キ其様子ヲタヅネ候処、其仁ノ申スニハ明治五年頃横浜ニ居リシ由ニテ種々岩倉大臣ノ事等ニ付テ談話致候、氏ハ当地ノ近所ニ住マヒ且ツ当院長ト心易キ由ニテ他日懇信ナランコトヲ約シ離レ候、人間一生如斯、明日ノ事ハ今日知ル能ハズ 〇児当地ニ来リシヨリ金銭ヲ費ス事甚ダ尠ナク、郵便切手并ニ汽車賃ノ外ハ稀ニ消費致シ候、ドウカ、コウカ消光致シ、寒カラズ饑《ヒモジ》カラズ居候間御安心被下度願上候
児来米以来心何ントナク惨然タル状ヲ現ハシ、一昨年以来ノ失策ヲ思ヒ心鬱々トシテ楽シカラズ、故ニ房ニ籠テ能々人間一生ノ大事ヲ思考致候処、当今ニ至テ大ニ得ル処アリ、漸々光ヲ見ルニ至リ申候、基督ノ言ユル我ハ｜這〔付○圏点〕ナリ｜光〔付○圏点〕ナリト申サレシハ斯事ナラント喜ビ居候、海外ニ在テハトテモ｜ウハキ〔傍線〕ニテクラス不能、宗教ノ如キモ一ツノ道徳学ト見ナシ或ハ世上運動ノ一機械ト見做ストキハ迚モ一生ヲ導ビクニ足ル者ニアラズ、｜饑テモ饑ズ、艱難ヲ見テ笑ヒ、人ヲオソレズ、大胆不敵ノ大丈夫〔付○圏点〕タルニアラザレバ迚ニ今日ノ社界ニ立チ永遠ニ送ルベキ事業ハ為シ難キ事ト存候、サテ世間ニハ世ノ才子ト称シ世上ヲ渡ルニ上手ノ人アリ、又ハ古ノ英勇ノ如ク心ヲ小事ニ留(143)メズ万死ヲ冒シテ敵ヲ退クル等アリ、然シ之基督信者ノ勇者ニアラズ、勇者トナルニ二途アリ、一ツハ世ノ苦痛ヲ見ズ聞カズ｜目ヲ閉ジテ〔付○圏点〕進ムアリ、之通常世ノ勇者ナリ、二ニハ徳川家康ノ如ク釈加ノ如ク基督ノ如ク、世上ノ艱難ハ悉ク感ジ｜然ル後〔付○圏点〕｜世ヲ通見〔付◎圏点〕セシ勇者、之真正ノ勇者ト称スベシ、児ノ今日務ムル事ハ真正ノ勇者タランコトナリ、人間今世ニ在テ人ノ名誉ヲ得ルモ失フモ決シテ意トナスベキニアラズ、鉄石ノ心ヲ持テル勇士何ンゾ人言ヲ要センヤ、永遠ノ生ヲ有セル者何ンゾ身命ヲ惜マンヤ、児今日一家ノ為メニ祈ルニ富貴モ祈ラズ名誉モ祈ラズ只真正清白ノ家トナリ、宝ヲ世ニ積マズト雖ドモ天ニ積マンコトヲ祈ルノミ、記シテ以テ御参考ニ供ス
日支ノ事件ハ如何ニ相成候ヤ、東京ノ新聞ハ一月廿五日迄ノ読ミ申候、願クハ平和ノ極ニ至ランコトヲ
彼ノ難事ハ如何ニ相成候ヤ、竹婦人ハ世ニ所謂｜道徳上ノマヌケ〔付○圏点〕ト申スタグヒニテ当病院ハ重モニ如斯人物ヲ取扱ヒ候故当今ハ大ニ我難ヲ悟リ申候、即チ面ハ天ノ便ヒノ如キ顔ヲ現ハシ徳義ヲ正クスルノ力ナキ者ナリ悪ムベキモ又憐ムベキナリ 悪魔ノ人類ヲ困メル如斯、嗚呼我若シ如斯艱難ニ会セシナラ世上数万人同ジキ困迫ニ会ヒ居ル者ヲ救フヲ得ザルカ、身ヲツミテ人ノイタサゾ知ラレケリ、
余ハ又後便ニ申上候 鑑三拝ス
大戸老母、大沼、田中、大島、様方ヘヨロシク、又三上於ワカ様ニモヨロシク
〔余白ニ〕 成ルベク丈ケ早ク御手紙ヲ賜ハレ度シ、先日願上シ新聞ノ義ハ偏ニ願上候
3月23日 【太田稲造宛 在米 米国ペンシルヴァニア州エルウインより】
Elwyn，Pa.，
March 23rd，1885．
Dear Fellow:
(144) Since last Friday，I have been confined to sick-bed，and am still far from being strong．Shut up in a Small room，with none to talk，andl ittle to read，the time has been spent with imaginations and recollections of the“wasted past”．This morning，thy letter came，and was assuredly a very pleasant visitor．The disease is a severe cold on its verge toward pneumonia．
My 25th birthday is at hand．A quarter of a century was wasted away．The agonizing heart bursted out in two stanzas：
Grass has grown and has wither'd
Twenty-five times，since from the womb，
This wretched vessel was launch'd
On its voyage toward the tomb．
Like a tiny mountain stream
Running from some bitter source，
Not an herb has life derived
From its flo for ※［斜体のhalf］its course．
Last night，being too lonesome，I took out some of thy letters．The one which I read was the longest letter sent to me near the close of last year．I read it over and over again，till“I could scarcely see for weeping”．Overwhelmed with emotions，I hastened into my bed，but there also，
“Ere slumber's chain has bound me，
Sad memories brought the light
Of other days around me．”
What is the object of my life？ A difficult question for me to answer．Miyabe has his Botany，(145)Hiroi and Fujita have their Engineering，Adachi has his“Kirby and Spence”，＆c.,but I？ Weaker than anyone of them in body and spirit，with larger family to support，what is my object in this life？ I cannot tell even by myself．Perhaps this much I can say，my object is to become the friend pf poor，as I am a poor by myself．If God allow，I may be able to see many other public institutions as this，that I may give some accounts of them to my Japanese brethren that they may be aroused to think more of humanity．With regard to my bread and shelter，I have DETERMINED to take NO thought．If I should starve to death，I am satisfied to do so．So I feel very light in this matter at present．I am willing to do anything if for the sake of Christ．Preaching，ministering to the poor，lecturing，or even fishing agin，if by any of these means I can gain immortal souls to Christ．I think that idea is very narrow which limits a man's service to Christ by only one of his faculties．Is not the Life itself the Lord's？ Hast thou read a little book called“Kept for Master's Use”by Havergal？ It is grand，It b主nk．It is a heavenly philosophy by itself．Ah！ Monque，thou canst hardly imagine the joy which is produced in my mind when I hear of thy convictions in both religious and social matters．Of our dear classmates，who have ever been drifted so far from the realization of the title we received，as WE．農学土 to become a servant of akind of an Insane Asylum？ Incredibie．But so Iam．−It is true that oftentimes，oid，fleshy nature revolts against my reason and conscience，and envice（!!）those of my friends who are under much more fortunate than myself in getting world's wealth．But，such a feeling（thank God）is but a passing thought，at present，soon to be melted into one strong desire“to sit by His side”，and“ask one thing needful”．Let us，friend，then walk with hand in hand，helping，consoling，singing to，praying for，each other，believing that we two are peculiar“set”of people．Few can sympathize with us．Few (146)can enter into the depth of our hearts．Even our parents are far from seeing，the fears and hopes，which agitate our heart．Even the stoutest heart is liable to fail；and what are our frail hearts compared with that of Howard or of Elizabeth Fry．If the so-called“natural law”is the only law in the Universe，I would rather commit a suicide，and go to the grave．
As to my domestic happiness，I have only one of caring my parents in a nice comfortable house．I wronged them very much by my last act，and I have to use my best possible means to please them．
“I have no sharer of my heart
To rob my Savior of a part，
And desecrate the whole；
Only betrothed to Christ am I，
and wait his coming from the sky，
To wed my happy soul．”−Wesley．
This is enough．
…………………………………………………………………………………………
This letter，I thimk，contains the very answers to what Mr．Sato wishes to know about me．（1）I will stay here or in England or forleast 4 years［sic］．（2）To study asylums，and what we call mission”as city mission，night mission，etc．（3）that I may be of some service to raise God's children，“especially the poorest”，in Japan“to the measure of Christ”．
In time of gloominess and pain−
Thine for ever
(147) JON．K．UCHIMURA．
Too early for answer，but on account of loneliness．
4月1日 内村宜之宛
二月二十三日出ノ御手紙三月卅日着致シ、実ニ待チニ待チ受ケタル御書面ナレバ取ル物モ取リ敢ヘズ拝読致候処、先以テ御一同ニハ異変無之由一安心仕候、私義ニモ先便以来差シタコトモ無之消光致居候間御安心被下度、母上始メ一家不余洗礼ヲ受ケラレ候由サテ／＼神ノ御欲召ノアル処実ニ感謝スベキコトニ御座候、私コト其報ヲ受賜ハリ終日涙ニ袖ヲ湿ホシ感謝ノ祈祷ヲ捧ゲ申候、私義国ヲ去テヨリ日々ニ其事ノミヲ心配致シ居リ、若シヤ私ノ失策ノ為メ母上ノ信仰ヲ落シハセマジヤト心痛致居候処、何ゾ計ラン今日此報アルトハ、万里外ノ客トナリテハ神ヨリ外ニ頼ム者ハ無之、宗教モ無事ノ時ハ信実デナクモ足リ候ヱ共、金モナク身体モ弱クシテ海外ニ旅行スルニ至テハ宗教程貴キモノハナク、之故カ当節ハ大ニ其深理モ分り、永遠ノ生アルヲ知リ、人間ハパンノミヲ以テ生活スルモノニアラザルヲ悟リ、心ニ大快ヲ覚ヘ申候、当地ニ於テモ偽信者ノ多キハ日本ヨリモ甚ダシ、教会ガドウダカウダト論ズル時ハ一日モ信者タル事ハ出来ズ、然シ宗教タルモノハ｜我〔付○圏点〕ト｜神〔付○圏点〕トノ関係ナレバ、世間ハ如何ニナルトモ決シテカマハズ、己自身ヲ神ニ委ネ、人ノ為メニ事ヲ為サズ神ノ為メニナシ、一己独立ノ精神ヲ養ヒ居申候 〇ケルリン氏ヘ御遣ノ書面ヲ直訳シ氏ニ示シ候処、氏ノ悦ビ無限、客人ニ示シ一家ニ示シ大悦ナリ、氏ノ云フ様、君ノ此処ニ来リタルハ決シテ人ノ為セシ事ニアラズ、万事神ノ為シ玉ヒシ事ナリ、我何ンゾ謝言ヲ受クルノ理ナシト、以テ氏ノ精神ヲ知ルニ足ル、氏ノ児ヲ見ル其子ヲ見ルガ如シ、風ヲ引カザル様用心スベシ、衣服ハ充分カ、寝衣ハ如何カナド実ニ心切ヲ尽セリ、別紙ハ氏ガ父上ニ送リクレトテ父上ノ手紙ヲ受取リテ直ニ認メシ返書ニシテ氏ノ親信ノ情ヲ見ルニ足ルモノナレバ原文共ニ差上候間御一読被下度候 〇警醒社ヘハ先日直(148)ニ手紙ヲ出シ置候間御出金被下ニ及バズ、出立ノ際取マトムベキ処早卒ノ際捨置ニ致シ御心配ヲ掛ケ候段御免被下度願上候 〇ホヰットニー氏ヨリ度々書面ヲ送リクレ且ツ常ニ時事新報ヲ送リクレ候、又先日ノ書面ニテ若シ生活ノ法方サヘ立テバ費府大学校ヘ無料ニテ入校ノ手続ヲ致シクレ候由申越シクレ候、右ハ今日考中ニハ御座候ヱ共、氏ノ不変心切ヲ知ルニ足リ候故申上置候、又ケルリン氏ノ世話ニ相成候モ元トハト云ヘバホヰットニー氏ノ週施ニ出シ者ニテ実ニ氏ノ児ヲ愛シクレ候事ハ常ニ感謝致居候、又ハ例ノ一条ニ付テハ氏モ未ダ内幕ノ事ハ不知、只児後日ノ事ヲ心配致シクレ候ヨリ種々父上ニ申上シ事ト存候間決シテ不悪御欲召被下度願上候 〇当地今年ノ寒気ハニ十年以来ノモノヽ由ニテ随分甚ダシク且ツ其変換ノ早キニ驚入申居候、朝ニ六十度ノ暖気ノ達スルカト思ヘバ夕ニハ二十度ニ降リ、ソレ故病人ノ多キニハ困リ入申候、然シ昨今ハ大ニ春暖ヲ覚ヘ申候、当地近方ハ大山トテハナケレ共四面小山多ク景色甚ダ美ナリ、夏時ハ殊ノ外宜敷土地ナル由 ○去ル四日ハ当地近辺滞在ノ日本人ノ会合日ニテ会スル者六名、久々ニテ邦語ヲ用ヒ愉快ニ存候、其内如何ニカシテ米ノ飯ヲ食ハント楽シミ居候、洋食モ慣レヽバ決シテウマクモナシ、菜漬ニ茶喰モ度々恋シク相成候 〇太田氏ヨリハ常ニ手紙有之候、氏ハ来月末ニ当地ニ来リ児ト暫時同居スル筈ニ御座候、其節ノ愉快ハ如何バカリナラント今日ヨリ楽シミ居候
〇来ル十日ニハ又々費府ニ出テ演説致ス筈ナリ、後便ニテ共模様申上ベク候 〇
今後児ノ身上ハ如何ニ相成候ヤ相知リ不申ト雖ドモ｜慥カニ〔付○圏点〕霊ナル神ノ守リ玉フ事ナレバ決シテ心配ニハ及バザルコトト存候、渡瀬氏ノ洋行モ一方ヨリ考フレバ羨ムベキナレ共、又返テ児ノ方ガ幸福ナランカト存候、如何トナレバ基督ノ幸福ト云ヒ玉ヒシ者ハ世ノ人ノ未ダ知ラザル未ダ見ザル幸福ニシテ迚モ人間ノ目ヲ以テ之ヲ見ル事能ハザルモノナリ、然レドモ艱難ヲ経、貧苦ニ過テ始メテ金銀ノ与フル所ノ幸福ノ無益ナルヲ知ルナリ、今日ノ富ハ明日ノ貧ト変ハリ、今日ノ大臣ハ明日ノ反賊トナリ、変換無限ノ幸福ヲ目的トスルトキハ人間ノ人間タル次閣ヲ失ヒ、食足リテ悦ビ食尽テ悲ムナラバ鳥□ト差シタル変リナキコトト存候、宇宙ノ造主世界ニ降リ玉ヒシトキハ大工ノ子トナラレタリ、基督ノ云ハルヽ富貴ノ人トハ家モナク金モナキ保羅ノ如キ人ニテモ宜敷コトト存候、(149)願クハ御両親ニモ深ク此意ヲ御了解被下、鑑三ノ為メニ祈ラルヽ青雲ノ上ニ座スル様ニトカ一家金錦ヲ衣ントカニアラズシテ、鑑三ハ正義ノ人トナリ義ノ為メニハ死スルトモ不（ル）惜ノ人トナランコトヲ御祈リ被下度、天国ナリ、永遠ノ生ナリ、皆仏法ノ所謂法便ニハアラズシテ｜実事〔付○圏点〕ナリ、然ラバ時ニヨリテハ食ヲ首陽ニ求ムルトモ心ノ慾ニ従ハズ、天帝ノ示シ玉ヒシ道ヲ守リ天下ノ難事ヲ己ノ積任トナシ、人ニ知ラルヽモ知ラレザルモ誉メラルヽ誉メラレザルモ一本ノ正道ヲ践ムコソ私ノ最モ願ハシキコトニ御座候 〇然シカク申シテ一家ノ貧ヲ省ミザルニアラズ、児床ニ付カントスル児一生ノ失策ヲ思ヒ出シ貧家ヲシテナホ貧ナラシメシヲ考フルトキハ、眼ニ血涕ヲ流スノ心地致シ眠ル能ハザルコト度々ナリ、願クハ父ナル神ノ我等ヲ導キ玉ハンコトヲ、アーメン
在日本 父上様 米国 鑑三ヨリ
4月18日 内村宜之宛
本朝明治十八年四月十八日米国ヱルウヰン町ニ於テ
先便ヲ呈シテヨリ已ニ又二週間ヲ過シタリ、嗚呼光陰矢ノ如シ、此割合ニテ行クナラバ再ビ富士山岳ヲ見ルノ日ハ決シテ遠カラザルベシ、顧レバ去年ノ今日ハ如何ナルトキナリシヤ、思ヘバ身ノ毛モ立ツ心地致シ穴ガアルナラ一時モ早ク入リ度思ヒ候、然シ又一失アリテ一得アリ、渡米ノ志モ此変事ノナカリセバ決シテ立ザリシナラン、神意ノアル所人目ノ知ル所ニアラズ、只後来ヲ械シムルノミト或ハ嘆ジ或ハ慰メ消光致居候 〇当節ハ当地モ殊ノ外春景色ニ向ヒ、不日、山青将花萌ノ快ヲ得ルナラント存ジ候、去国三派遠ノ情モ今日姶メテ感ジ申候、諸氏ノ心切ハ多ケレドモ何ンナク客タルノ心地致シ、日西山ニ入ラントスルトキハ度々家郷ヲ思フノ情ニ涙ニ袖ヲ湿シ申候 〇去ル十日ハ費府ノ人ヨリ招待ヲ受ケ午後五時三十分当地ヲ発シ日暮着府、直ニ ペチン氏ト申ス人ヲ尋ネ候処博士サイル氏ハ児ヲ待受ケ居、種々談話ノ上、夕食ヲ馳走セラレ、同八時会堂ニ参リ候処已ニ聴衆(150)ハ内ニ充チ居候、先ニサイル氏ハ簡短ナル演説ヲ為シ終ニ児ヲ衆人ニ導ク、依テ児ハ日本ノ事情再ニ後来改進ノ見込ヲ演ベ候処大ニ諸氏ノ賛成ヲ得申候、終ニ其夜ハ博士サイル氏ノ宅ニ一泊シ氏ト種々後来ノ事ヲ談ジ久振リニシテ愉快ヲ覚ヘ候、至ル所神ノ御恵ノ多キ＝恐入申候、後来如何ニナルカハ不知ドモ決シテ饑餓ニ至ルコトハアルマジ、御安心被下度願上候 ○ハリス婦ハ不相変心切ナリ、実ニ同婦人ノ深切ハ如何ニ感謝シテ宜シキヤ不知、他日志ヲ得テ必ズ同婦人ノ意ニ報ヒ度思ヒ居候 〇
先大統領グラント氏ノ大病モ幸ニ快方ノヨシニテ一国挙テ悦ビ居候、氏ノ事ニ付テハ之ヲ誹評スル者ナキニアラズ、氏ノ大失策ハ退職後ニ商法ヲ試ミシニアリ、然レドモ全ク国家ノ為メヲ思フノ念ヨリ之ニ従事セシ由ナリ、然レドモ当地人民ノ｜クセ〔傍線〕トシテ己ノ党ニアラザルモノハ何デモ悪シク云フコト甚ダシク、ソレ故何レヲ実トシテ宜敷ヤ不分、又新大統領クリーヴランド氏ハ思ノ外人望ヲ得シ様子ナリ 〇英魯ノ関係モヤヽ落付キシ様子ニ御座候ヱ共、未ダ判然セズ、イヤハヤ基督ノ名ヲ称スル国々モイザト云バ聖書ヤ真理ハ上部《ウハベ》ノ面ニシテ大砲ト軍艦デ御相談ト出ズルハ、嗚呼文明国トハ如何ナル者ナルヤト度々嘆息致候 〇
ヱルウヰン町景況 ｜ヱルウヰン〔傍線〕ト申ス所ハ｜町〔付○圏点〕ト云テハ甚ダ不適当ナリ、只数百戸ノ村民所々ニ散布シ居ルノミ、故ニ｜村〔付○圏点〕ト称スル法可ナラン、土地ハ小山多クシテ景色甚ダ美ナリ、児ノ房ノ戸ヨリ外ヲ見レバ先ヅ第一ニ目ヲ驚ス者ハ鉄橋ニシテ高サ百丈余、長サ七八十間ナリ、上ヲ※［さんずい＋氣］車ノ往来スル事一日｜五十回〔付○圏点〕余ナリ、｜ステーシヨン〔傍線〕ハ六七丁南ニアリテ費府ハ｜ボリチモーア〔傍線〕府（太田氏ノ居ル所）ヲ往復スル者ナリ、当地ヨリ費府マデ往復切符六十銭ナリ、急行※［さんずい＋氣］車ハ一日三廻、通常汽車ハ九廻（尤モ往復トモ）ナリ、故ニ夕飯ヲ食シ当地ヲ発シ費府ニテ夜十時迄談ジ家ニ帰ルモ決シテ遅カラズ、金サヘアレバ便利ナリ、当地ヨリ東ニアタリテ、ミヂヤ町アリ、凡ソ半里程ナリ、総テ買物等ハ同町マデ参ラザルヲ得ズ、人口ハ八分ハ白人種ニシテ二分ハ黒人ナリ、交際ハ甚ダ少シ、会堂ハ一ケ所アリ、教師ハ中々ノ人物ニシテ決シテ｜御寺ノ房サン〔付○圏点〕ニハアラズ、説教ハ心ヲ突ヌク事度々ナリ、故ニ集会スル者甚ダ少シ、以テ人心何所モ同様ナルヲ知ルニ足ル
(151) 畑ハ少クシテ牧場多シ、一日ニ二廻程牛乳ヲ運送スル為メ別仕立ノ※［さんずい＋氣］車往復ス、以テ米人ノ乳ヲ好ムヲ知ルニ足ル、余ハ後便 〇
近来当国ニ一ツノ有名ナル著述アリ、題シテ｜近来ノ基督教ハ偶像教ノー種〔付○圏点〕ト云フ、児未ダ之ヲ一読セザレ共、大ニ見破セシ書ナリト信ズ、米国人ヲ｜一般〔付○圏点〕ニ評スル時ハ迚モ日本支那人ノ及ブ所ニアラズ、其心切ト云ヒ其行ノ美ト云ヒ文明国ト云ハザルヲ得ズ、不信者ハ何ト申ストモ、基督教ノ米国一般ヲ感化セシ事迚モ言語ノ尽ス所ニアラズ、国家ニ永久ノ事業ヲナセシ人々ハ必ズ熱信ナル宗教家ニシテ、国会議員中ニモ不信徒トテハ僅カニ｜三人〔付○圏点〕アルノミ、｜然レドモ〔付○圏点〕一己人ノ信仰ニ付テハ感服シ難キ事多クアリ、其弊害ハ一々述ブルニハ及バザレドモ、何トナク矢張俗ニ云フ｜宗旨クサキ〔付○圏点〕事アリテ承知致シ難キ事多シ、之ハ東京等ニテモ度々教師諸君ノ内ニ見受ケシ事ナリシガ当地ニ来リ大ニ其真ナルヲ悟レリ、然レドモ基督教国丈ケアリテ眼目ヲ高尚ノ所ニ置キ広キ高キ志操ヲ持ツ人少ナカラズ、依テ此人々ノ著述ヲ少シタ過読致シ候処大ニ聖書ノ奥義モ分カリ｜神〔付○圏点〕ト云フ貴重ナル宇宙ノ主ヲ見ルコトノ出来ル様ニ相成リシ事ヲ悦ビ申候、顧ミレバ児十一歳ノ時ヨリ貧家ノ中ニ特別ノ教育ヲ受ケ、漸ク業ヲ卒ヘ将サニ国家ニ事ヲナサントスルニ当テ｜トンデモ〔付○圏点〕ナキ失策ヲ出カシ、信者ドコロカ悪魔ノ行ヲナセシコトヲ思ヘバ度々気力落チ再ビ立ツ能ハザルノ場合ニ立至レリ、然レドモ其失策ノ源因ヲ考フレバ全ク悪意ヨリ出デシニハ無之、イサヽカ国ノ為メ他人ノ為メニ為サント欲シ種々苦慮スル所ヨリ終ニ之ニ落入リシ事ニシテ、元トハト云ヘバ聖書ノ意味ノ取リチガヒヨリ生ゼシ事ナラント存候、聖書ニ云フ所ノ｜人ソノ父母ヲ捨テヽ其妻ニスガレ〔付○圏点〕ト云フ言ノ如キソノ儘ニ取ルトキハ人情ヲソコナヒ世界ヲ害スル甚ダ大ナリ、然レドモ近世非常ノ学者ハ之ニ貴重ナル意味ヲ与ヘ創成記ヲ解スル全ク今日マデノ註解ト異ナリ、児モ其説ヲ解シテヨリ或ハ驚キ或ハ悦ビ候、世ニ最モ入用ナル者ハ大益ヲ為サヾレバ大害ヲ為ス者ナリ、神ノ教ナカリセバ人生ハ無キニ増サレリ、然レドモ之ニ誤マリタル註訳ヲ下シ己ノミナラズ他人ニマデ之ヲ教ナバ、嗚呼其害懼ルベシ／＼、然ラバ害アルヲ恐レテ之ニ従ハザランカ、数万ノ貴重ナル生霊ハ死ニ至ルナリ、故ニ今日ノ為スベキ事ハ近来究理、歴史、文学上ヨリ研(152)究シ、且ツ祈祷ト真実ヲ以テ之ヲ己ノ心ニ正シ、聖書ノ正理ヲ有ノ儘ニ見破スルコソ最モ緊要ナルコトト存候、嗚呼今日マデ内ニ心ノナキニハアラザリシモ外ニ之ヲ導ク者ナク暗キヤミ夜ニ荒海ヲ渡リシコトハカヘス／”＼モ残念ナレ共、如何ニセン目ヲ開ク者ナクシテ迷ヒタリ、西洋詩人ノ云ヘルアリ曰ク｜愛ハ矇目ナル天使〔付○圏点〕ナリト、嗚呼意義ノ深キ言ナラズヤ、｜愛心〔付○圏点〕程愛スベキ天ノ使ハアラザレドモ智識ノ之ヲ導クアラザレバ度々失策ニ落入ルナリ、思フテ此処ニ至レバ涙数行、且ツ嘆ジ且ツ悦バザルヲ得ズ、今春ハ已ニ二十五年ノ春ヲ向ヘタリ、人生ノ半分ハ矇目ニテ打過ギタリ、余ル半分ハ、アヽ神ヨ、正シキ道ニ導キ玉ヘ、無用ナルキタナキ生命ヲ終ル事ナク無難ニ世ヲ渡ラシメ玉ヘ、アーメン
在本国 御両親様 一万英里外ニ客タル 愛スル 鑑三 ヨリ
皆々様ニ宜敷奉願候、於宜ヘ送ルベキ絵ハ未ダ買ハズ、少シク待ツベシ、今廻ハ状ブクロ三枚差上候間御間暇ノ節ハ御書状被下度願上候
4月19日 【太田稲造宛 在米 米国ペンシルヴァニア州エルウインより】
EIwyn，Pa.,
April 19th，1885．
My Dear Old Monque：
I was on duty all the day thro' and feel pretty tired to-nigjt．Went to church with my children．They give me a great deal of trouble．But now they are gone to bed，and so I commune with thee，my friend，brother，and fellow-worker in the Lord．
O！ sometimes“the shadows of life how deep”！ Doest thou not feel the same sometimes？ (153)Notwithstanding all thy brotherly admonitions and all my endeavors，the“black past”and wearisome future are pictured before my eyes，and I have often to follow Luther at Wurtenburg［sic］in driving Satan with inkstands or books in my hand．By following thy advice，I got Drummond's Natural Law，and I just delight in it．To me，his arguments are more impressive than to thee as thou canst easily imagine．Even in my capacity to read that book alonr，I do not regret few struggling years which I blindly spent in studying Biology．His arguments on Biogenesis is just what I want to have．Other chapters，though good，are not so elegant as that．AIso I take great delight in reading some of Swedenborg's writings．Though I cannot accept many of his doctrines，he helps me a great deal in elucidating many of the most difficult passages in the Bible．I think he is a great man，a lovable man，and undoubtedly a strong thinker．He is too mystical to many；but to those who understand his spirit he is not“a crazy”as a Methodist minister expressed to me．
Art thou coming to EIwyn within 6 or 7 weeks？ Grand！ Come，help me in surveying，in plotting ln calculating the area−all of which are thy specialities，and I will keep tbee fed on good oat-meal porridge and boiled potato．Stay many weeks instead of only one week，canst thou？ Thou art not rich．Don't dare to go to N．Y．or Boston to empty thy pocket（失敬々々）；but stay with me，and sleep with the bony frame of thy old Lon，and let us chatter a little with old-fashioned jokes．
Ink is gone．To continue．I send by this mail some copies of 基督教新聞．I hope they will interest thee．We can easily find in what a low state our Japanese Christians are．In saying tもis，I amn ot at all unconscious of my own low spiritual condition．Though it would be almost impos(154)sible for mortal beings to“work up”to our“Ideal”while we are upon this Earth，but is it not our duty“to hitch our wheels to star”？（Emerson）．I think there is much sense in the saying；“the modern Christianity is a civilized Heathenism”．O，how many of so-called doctrines，disciplines，and even aspirations of the Christian Public are nothing but developed forms of heathenish ideas．Brother，our country is neW to Christianity．Remedy must be done before it takes deep root among its people．A Uemura，a Kozaki，a Ibuka，may be good scholars and elegant preachers；but ah！ they have too much to do，and I do not know the reason why they are contented with the conditions of Japanese Christians．（At least，they seem so，judged from what they write in the Paper．）But，brotber let me stop here，lest subtle Satan make his way to my heart，taking the advantage of a proud tone with which I write．We must fulfill our duties to God，and we must not care for what others are doing．But this much，I believe brotber，that if thou and I are to preach our own views in Tokio，we will be seriously persecuted．We need great moral courage，brother．Government authorities are not what we depend upon；our friends are not influential enough to lend us their hands，and so-called Christians，I count，as among my enemies．Ah！ more，a part of my own nature is my enemy，and what is left for me to fight against my countrymen，my friends，and my own-self，but my Spirit．Spirit alone？ Nay，Spirit with Christ，the Lord of heaven and earth．Who can be against us，if God be with us．O！ how much I think of thee！ Thou，Ota，wast my friend during the darkest part of my life，and when many friends left me，thou art among very few．whose hearts still follow this“poor man”．Thou must remember that once I told thee，that I could prophesy somewhat to thy future spiritual life．My prophecy is now being fulfilled．Methinks，those hard hours I had with thee at Chitose on thy way to Tokio，at Oyafuru，and at many other (155)places when thou wast very cross＊ to me，my every proposition met with cool arguments and repulsive philosophies！ But，thank God，thou art now in Christ's fold，and in a position to console me in His name．But what are these when compared with thy self-sacrificing labors for my“unpleasant matter！”Ah！ when I consider how many times was I indifferent to thee，and even forgetful of thee，I cannot but go to prayer at once，and ask the pardoning mercy of my Heavenly Father．And，thou，Monque，will pardon me，I believe．Now，we set out in similar course in Life，if not the very same．“Our fears，our hopes，our ends are one．”Canst thou lend thy helping arm to me，in future，as heretofore？ This is not at all a fun or flattery，but a sincere，earnest，solemn request．Nothing comes by chance．Our first acquaintance in Mr．Scott's class，our innocent friendship at Uekiya，our common membership in 立行社，our communion at the cool-shade of Kwairakuyen，at the moon-lit hill-top of Ueno，at the Yumoto of Ikao，−are they for nothing but for the purpose of indulging in spasmodic feelings of the times？ I don't believe so．Be thou a Luther，and I will try to be thy Melanchthon．If I cannot do any service to thee，I will pray for thee，as I am now doing．I'll try to be thy faithful Lon，and notwithstanding all my impetuosities and faultful procedure，I will try to be sincere．In life，in death，I will never forget thee．
＊I speak frankly．
Kabo has not yet written me，tho' I wrote him immediately after I came here．Father wrote me that he is in Tokio，probably to marry．Ah!!!
Waiting for thynext letter，
Thine at all times，
LON．
(156) 5月17日 【太田稲造宛 在米 米国ペンシルヴァニア州エルウィンより
My best regards to Mr．Sato．Have no black ink．
EIwyn，Pa.,
May 17，1885．
My Honored Friend：
Since I received thy last letter，my heart has been in a state of great commotion．Never have I wept so bitterly over my self as I did for two days since the reception of that letter．I thank God that He used thy frank，open heart to reprove me so sharply of my wretchedness．I thank thee that thou wast sincere in prosecuting thy duty of friendsbip to me．That letter will serve as a life-long treasure to me，to suppress my pride，and to exhort me to true Christian humility．Not a word have I to say against thee．I was，have been，and am，just what thou hast depicted in thy admirable letter．Thou hast bleeded my heart，but nobly，Christianly，and friendly．Brother，don't think that I am offended at thee．On the contrary，out of my crushed spirit，I offr sweet incense of humiliating prayer and overwhelming gratitude to God，for giving me the very reproof which I need most．Thou art not a martyr to friendship．Don't fear brother．Go on with thy uprightness，encourage the good，and crush the wrong．Thus only can we follow the Master's path，−a straight，though narrow path．
Now，in giving little apologies for a new impetus to my soul，thou wilt allow me to offer thee the following：
(157) 1．It is not the nobility of the work of ministry over other occnpations that a Christian should enter upon it．In one sense，all Christians are ministers．If they do not hate this life，destroy their self，pride，love of honor，etc．they cannot be Christians．Be he a Biologist．a Sociologist，an Engineer，so long as he“clings to this world”，he is not a Christian，My“puffing up”is inexcusable on any ground．If it is mistaken to enter a ministrial work for the sake of its“nobleness”，it is equally mistaken to be a Biologist，because，I cannot conquer my propensity for pride，the latter must be destroyed at any rate．
2．I grant thy idea of true noble life．I know the value of“Miltiades' bloom”．“The carpenter of Nazareth”was honorable so long as it was God's will to be so；but w九en the“appointed time”came，he was to be no more so．It is not how much we do，or what we do，that determines the value of our life；but how much we obeyed“His will”，−this，this is the standard of Christian morality．In calling thy pity as to tbe real condition of my heart，I wish thee to hear from Hiroi what he saw and heard from me about the kind of life which I have been hacking for the last 5 months，here at an“Idiotic House”．I do not say tもis for my pride；but to open my friendly heart to thee．Brooms，and ゾウキン，have been my constant companions．I treated the urine and dungs of idiots，尻（I mean“kuso”）ヲ拭ヒタリ，飯盛リヲシタリ；not because Dr．Kerlin ordered me to do such works，but because I thought it is good for my moral discipline．Be it far from me to say tbat I did this from my desire to indulge in arrogance in future．I should not have written such to thee，had it not been for this special case．
3．With regard to“inspiration”，I must ask thee a question．How art thou going to distinguish between true and false inspirations？ How hast thou felt that the Spirit of God touched thee？ (158)How doest thou know that it is not a sympathetic calenture？ The whole world thinks still that the Pentecost was a kind of drunkenness．Quakerism loses its vital doctrine if it be proved that What they call“Spjrit moves”，is nothing but a“spasmodic feeling”．While it is true that fanatism and insanity have often been passed under the name of“inspiration”，it is also no less true that many“spirit were quenched”by disregarding the voices of God．This question，∴，is a hard one to answer for men．God only knows whether it be true or not，and as for man，it only remains to test it by his conscience and reasonings as much as he can，and follow a conviction which has the greatest weight．If he makes a mistake after these precautions，he“can't be helped”，because he cannot go any further．
4．There are many misconceptions about the true sense of word ministry，−hence great vituperations in criticizing about ministers．If it is simply to be a preacher，or a pastor，or a propagandist of one's opinions，or an occupation to fill one's stomach，let it be an anathema，and let no true disciple of Christ enter upon it．That it is really so in most cases，I do not deny；but this is not an excuse for a Christian to reject it，when the“Spirit moves”his heart to accept it．Now，my dear friend，a critical time came for our friendship．If I，thy beloved friend，cannot destroy his self，and crush his pride，ambition，love for the worldly honor，I do not wish to be called thy friend，−nay，if I cannot be brought to such a condition that I am“safe”from“puffing-up”，I will rather be an infidel than to be a hypocritical Christian．Love me，call me thy friend，thy brother，−yea，honor me with that lovely name，“Christian”，if by God's help，I am brought to that amiable state；but till then，only pray for me，but don't consider me as thy friend，（I mean in the true sense of the term．）I am really ashamed of the wretched condition of my heart．To be a pure (159)man before God，is IMPOSSIBLE for me；but thank God，I can be a penitent sinner in Christ，where
“may I，though vile as he，
Wash all my sins away．”
Brother，our life is getting to be“real”．It is no more to be an illusion．We must go on with lives in our hands．It is easy to sit down，and think，and write，and say our opinions．Fighting must be real．This is an age of practical work．Be it physical，mental，or spiritual，we must stand up and“be doing”．So then，dear old fellow，a beloved friend，a lovable classmate，let us fight on！ Let us not love ourlives if they are to be spent for the sake of God and men．Life is not cheaply lost，if it is lost for good cause，and with good motive．My life，thus far，has been a total failure，and will be so in future．But，“greatly begin”，sings a poet，“not failure，but low aim，is crime”．
I received many letters from home recently．One from Miyabe．He says he is“too busy to marry”!!!! A happy fellow！ He sends his heart to thee．My brother sends the same to thee．
I had very nice time with Mr．Neejima．He came just at the time to help me．I am now waiting for his letter．I am now a Sakya prince at 雪山．A physical debility，a deep meditation，a tumultuous conscience，a voluntary hermit．
Ever thine，
JON．K．UCHIMURA．
(160) 5月23日 内村宜之宛
明治十八年五月廿三日ヱルウヰ町二於テ認ム 午前九時
今日雨天所謂入梅ノ候ニテ鬱々タル天気、故郷ヲ思フノ情イヤ増セリ、只今四月廿四日出ノ御手紙拝読仕り両眼涙ニ溢レ再ビ読ムコトヲ得ズ、顧ミレバ児ノ不孝之ヲ言語ニ尽スベキモノニアラズ今又何ヲ言ハン、只平心底頭父母ノ免ヲ請フノミ、児幼ニシテ大人ノ殊別ノ愛ヲ蒙ムリ貧家ノ資産ヲ以テ最良ノ教育ヲ辱フシ漸ク成人トナルヲ得タリト思ヘバ、非常ノ失策ニ会シ貧家ノ上ニ貧ヲ加ヘ今日アルニ至リタルトハ、嗚呼不可忍ノ場合ナラズヤ、若シ児ニシテ適当ノ罪ニ当ラバ、如何ナル艱難モ決シテ難トスベキニアラズ、今又何ヲ言ハン、只大君ノ愛子タルノ資格□万事ヲ御委頼申スノミ、之ヲ思ヘバ精神塞ガリ、前途暗ヤム、只涙ニ伏スルノミナレ共、之又不孝ニ不孝ヲ加フル事ト思ヒ、万端ヲ神ニ委ネ、前日ノ耻ヲ雪グノミニ気ヲ励マシ居候ノミニ御座候、児今日ノ慰ハ旧約聖書耶利米書四十九章十一節ニ御座候 〇古今ノ歴史ヲ見テ又大ニ慰ミ居候、紀元三百年代ニ当テ名ヲ全世界ニ輝カセシ「ヲーガスチン」氏ナル者モ、青年ノ時一婦人ノ偽ハル所トナリ、大ニ一時ハ其名誉ヲケガシ、氏ノ母｜モイヤ〔傍線〕ハソレガ為非常ノ艱難ニ会シタレ共、之氏ヲシテ人トナラシムルノ一源因トナレリ、又欧洲中世ニ当テ上等社会ノ思想ヲ一変セシ有名ナル詩人「ダンテー」氏モ、一小婦ノ偽ハル所トナリ、終ニ殆ンド饑餓ニセマルノ場合ニ立至リシガ、之氏ヲシテ世上ノ艱難ヲ知ラシメ、「インフハルノー」、「パルゲトリヲー」、「パラデイシヲー」ト称スル万世不朽ノ書ヲ編スルヲ得セシメタリ、又伊太利国ニ於テ中世ノ改進者ト称シ、愛国、熱心ヲ以テ万国ノ史上ニ名ヲ轟カセル「サボナロラ」ト云フ人ハ、チウド児ノ如キ難ニ会シ、全く一少婦ノアヤマル所トナリ、非常ノ苦痛ヲ経シガ、之氏ヲシテ欧州改革ノ先立者タラシメシノ源因ナリト、嗚呼児ノ此難モ又児ヲシテ身命ヲ天下ニ捧グルノー具タランコトヲ、今朝「サボナロラ」ノ伝ヲ読ミ大ニ精神ヲ励マシ申候、「再ビ不(161)ニ山麓ニ家ヲ見ザルカ」等ノ言ハ決シテ家ヲ忘レシ心ヨリ出シニアラズ、児海外ニ在テハ大日本国民タルノ資格ヲ外人ニ示サヾルヲ得ズ、殊ニ児ハ他ノ日本人ヨリモ上等社界ニ接近スルヲ得ルノ位置ニアル事ナレバ、抜山ノ気ヲ彼等ニ示シ我大和霊ノ何物タルカヲ知ラスルコトヲ力メザルベカラズ、故ニ終日言行ヲ謹ミ、事アル時ニ至テハ、日本国ノ名誉ニ関スルコトトアレバ身ヲ捨テヽモ之ニ当ラントノ心組ナレバ、不思前文ヲ書送セシコトナレバ、決シテ不悪御欲召被下度願上候、大君御青年ノ時分ハ高崎藩ノ為メナラ何事モ為サヾルヲ得ザリシガ、今日ハ其掛念ノナクナリシヨリ、日本人民ノ心ヨリ愛国ノ情大ニ落チタリ、然レ共一度海外ニ渡ルニ及デハ、一身ノ名誉ハ一国ニ関スル事故、従テ愛国ノ情モイヤ増シ、旭日章ト見ルトキハ何モ彼モ忘ルヽニ至ルハ、之又人情ノ致ス所ニシテ又愛スベキ情ト存候、児不省ト雖ドモ、イカデ児ノ家ヲ忘ルベキヤ、只児ノ恐ルヽ所ハ、身体ノ常ニ弱キヨリ、今ニ於テ国家ニ為ス処ナクンバ後日ニ至テ悔ユルトモ甲斐ナカレトノミ思フナリ、児幼ヨリ大君ノ膝下ニ養ハレ、楠正成ノ話シヤ同正行ノ為成ヲ聞テ心ニ徹シ、丈夫ノ為スベキコトハ一国ノ為メニ身ヲ捨ツベキコトト思ヒ居レリ、然ルニ基督教ノ精神タルヤ、今日迄我国ノ青年ヲ励マセシ精神トハヤヽ異ナリ、依テ又之ヲ誤解スルノ恐レモ少ナカラズ、之ニ由テ一夢ノ中ニ児一生ノ失策ヲ来タシシ事ナレ共、又之今日悔ヒテ不及事ナレバ、深ク御免ヲ願フノミ、然レドモ今日ハ大ニ□眼ヲ開クヲ得、聖書ノ莫大ナル意味モ大ニ解スル事ヲ得ルニ至リシハ、之不幸ヨリ生ゼシ幸ニシテ、今日ヨリ児ノ進路ヲ転ジナバ又為ス所ナキシモアヲズ、幸ニ今日ハ文明国ノ中真ニアルコトナレバ、手ニ唾シテ進取ノ精神ヲ励マシ、早晩帰朝ノ後大ニ為ス処アランコトヲ祈ルノミニ御座候、天道決シテ非ナラズ、我内村家今日マデ難ノ絶ヘザリシハ、之冬気去テ春暖帰ルノ兆ニアラズヤ、人間ノ情トシテ父子兄弟共ニアル程愉快ナルコトハナシ、然レ共今一段高尚ナル点ヨリ考フル時ハ、一家拳テ義ノ為メニ尽ス程快ナルコトハアルマジ、昔時三浦義明其子ヲ送テ頼朝ニ遣セシノ情ハ、今日之ヲ大キク取ル時ハ日本国ノ為メ神ノ為メニ、時ニ当テハ此ノ愉快モ捨ズバナラズ、児義証タラバ大君又義明タランコトヲ願フナリ、今日ハ又戦乱ノ時ニハアラザレ共、先便ヲ以テ申上シ通リ実ニ我国安危ノ掛カヽル所、内村家貧ナリ児等愚ナリ(162)ト雖ドモ一塊ノ精神ヲ捧ゲテ我国ノ基※［石＋素］ヲ堅固ナラシムルノ一助タラザルヲ得ズ、若シ鑑三ニシテ酒色ニ沈ミ又ハ独身ノ快ヲ得ンガ為メニ一家ヲ忘ルヽニ至ラバ、天罪ナドカ児ノ上ニ落チザル、然レドモ家ヲ興シ国ヲ助クルノ一念ヨリー身ノ快楽ヲ忘ルヽニ至リシナラ、嗚呼愛スル我父ヨ、何故ニ鑑三ヲ不孝視セラルヽヤ、大君ハ鑑三ノ幼ナル時ヨリ何ヲ教ヘ玉ヒシヤ、楠正成、木造知康、鳥居翁、藤田滕湖ハ児ノ慕フベキモノナラズ、児ノ心中ハ神ゾ知ル、一日モ帰国致シタキハ実ニ万々ナリ、然レドモ、之ヨリ欧米諸国ヲ遊歴シ、世界ノ進路ヲ究メ、身ヲ立テ道ヲ行フニハ、随分艱難モ経ザルベカラズ、今年今日ノ鑑三ハ昨年今日ノ鑑三ニアラズ、昨年ハ殆ンド狂者ナリキ、今年ハ一丈夫ノ気組ナリ、弱キハ人ノ常ナレバ度々失望スルハ決シテ恐ルニ足ラズ、イザ之ヨリハ古今ノ歴史ヲ見破シ、今日ノ情実ヲ探リ、一腐青年ノ域ヲ去リ、復生シタル活発怡然タルノ一日本人タランコトノミ、大君又児ノ為メニ望ム処アレ、書シテ以テ大君ノ膝下ニ呈ス 鑑三拝ス
6月2日 新島襄宛 【Mr．Joseph Neejima，c/o Hon．Alpheus Hardy，No．4．Joy Street，Boston，Mass．】
EIwyn，Pa.,
June 2nd，
1885．
My Dear Mr．Neejima：
Your brotherly and hortatory epistle was received with unutterable gratitude．It served as a very substantial food to feed my hungry soul，and to embalm my wounded spirit resulting from frequent reflections upon the darkest part of my past life．I thank God，however，that I have been (163)led through such a thorny path，with really a breeding foot．My agonized soul often went into the very brink of total disappointment；but He who guideth my very step caused me not to stumble，and lo！“hither by His help I am come．”Neither Amherst，Dartmouth，nor Princeton can teach me all those precious lessons which I learnt directly from the hand of God．Submission，resignation，and sanctification are the sweetest results of well regulated trials．Recently I have been reading lives of great men whom God used in spreading His truth throughout the world（as you advised me to do so）．Among them，St．Augustine，Dante，and Savonarola are especially dear to me，especially the last．His youth was marked by the same misfortune as one which almost sent me to the Hell．I found that I am not the only one whom the Merciful Father hath visited with that hardest and almost unbearable trial，−the revolting of one part of the same flesh againstt he other．So，Mr．Neejima，I feel exceedingly happy that I can say to you to-day from the depth of my heart，in the words of St．Paul，“Brother，I do not count myself to have apprehended：but this one thing I do，forgetting those things which are behind，and reaching forth unto those things which are before，I press toward the mark for the prize of the high calling of God in Christ Jesus．”
I intended to go to Washington to-day，but it was postponed till Saturday．We had a meeting of the Japanese at Mr．Morris on last Saturday．Eleven Japanese were present，among whom were Mr．＆ Mrs．Takahashi of N．Y．We had a very interesting Bible class．Mrs．Morris，half fearing that the majority of us do not like religious teaching，prudently but earnestly closed the lesson．Then I took my turn，in rather an impertinent manner，and tried to convince them，at least，to look into their hearts a little．I was rather disappointed of our consul and his wife．I think it is a shame to the nation not to send the best specimen of the people to foreign lands，to represent our nationality．(164)One with pure 大和魂 often comes very near to a Christian，and if we cannot send none but heathens，let us send the best and purest heathens．No wonder that so many of Americans make such low estimate of the moral standard of the Japanese．I am convinced more and more of the paramount importance of taking care of the Japanese by ourselves．Lethargic Quakerish ＆ Conservative Presbyterianism have their respective positions of usefulness；but the Yankee-land of the Pacific need life and energy akin to those of Luther，of Savonarola，of Xavier，to lift it up to any respectable position in the world．The dungeon of Bedford，the fire of Bloomfield，and the trial at Worms will be inevitable in some cases．Can we not Christianaize our Old Yamato spirit？ Our forerunners sacrificed their lives for the country；can we not ours for God and the country？
I feel extremely thankful for your kindness in taking measures for my sake．Mrs．Kerlin urges me to enter Harvard to take a course in Political Economy，though she knows veryl ittle about my real circumstances．To confess the truth to you，Mr．Neejima，I have almost impoverished my family，and tberefore have no prospect to draw any further supply from home．Moreover，I have no ambition to educate myself in Politics，though I have no objection for mastering any kind of God's truth．My spirit longs after Amherst，there to pursue the study which I took up few years ago，viz．the interpretation of the Bible by the Biological and Geological facts．In case，I cannot enter the college，I shall be perfectly satisfied even to be a farm boy，if Ican enjoy few hours of quiet study．To me，nothing is so hard as to live by doing nothing．Philanthropic work I like best；but how can a man be a philanthropist when he is himself to be helped？ This impress me very conscientiously at present，and I feel very hard to live in this charitable house．Excuse me，my Dear Brotherin Christ，to trouble you by presenting my real case to you；but I look for your help (165)at this time of my“formative period．”In doing this，I expose my every thing to you．My selfishness and hypocrisy，if there be any（＆ I think there are many）are now under your observation．May my expectation be fulfilled，and your expectation for me（though such a miserable fellow）be fulfilled in me by doing the best I can for the cause for which you are now working so earnestly．
I wish to know how is your head at present．Since I came to this country，the name Japan sounds with peculiar sweetness，and a patriotic Japanese is almost an idol to me．But a Christian Japanese moves my whole being，and I often think that I would give my two eyes to get one such，to work and die for Japan．
“The land of lands for thee I give
My prayer，my heart，my service free；
Fort hee，thy son shall nobly live，
And at thy need shall die for thee．”
Ever wishing you for good success，and always remembering you in my prayer．
Your brother in Christ，and your countryman，
Jon．K．Uchimura．
乱筆後免被下度願上候、
6月6日 内村宜之宛
去ル五月十一日出ノ御手紙六月五日ニ拝授仕リ候処、先ヅ御一同ニハ御変ナク御消光ノ由安心仕候、陳バ彼ノー件ニ付種々御心配被下奉恐入候、私方ヨリ安中ニ申遣セシハ実事ニシテ、実ハ児モ妊身トハ全ク彼虚言ト存ジ(166)左ノ一言ヲ述ベタリ、即チ「私事ハ貴婦ト再ビ｜同居スルノ念ハ〔付○圏点〕全〔付◎圏点〕ク｜絶〔付◎圏点〕チタレバ愚父ヨリ離縁状ヲ相送リ候バ御受被下度、貴婦ハ私ヲアザムキ私ノ愛ニ報ユルニ数多ノ困難ヲ以テセラレタリ、故ニ今日私ニ向ヒ何モ御申越シニナルベキ理由ナシ、且ツ数度私ト離レ度様御述ベニ相成リ候故、今度私ヨリ離別ヲ申出候ハ返テ御本意ト存候、又ホノカニ伝聞致候ニ御妊身ノ由、若シ左様ニ御座候ハバ小児ハ直ニ私両親方ニ御渡シ被下度、私方ニテ幾重ニモ養育致候、然シドウシテモ御渡無之ニ於テハ後来小生方ニ於テハ決シテ関係致スマジク候云々」ト、然シ今日ノ場合ニ立至レバ如何トモスル能ハズ、彼小生ノ温和ナル勧メニ従ハザレバ之ヲ法ニ訴フベキノミ、然シ小生ヨリ今一応浅田信芳ニ向ケ懇々申遣スベク候間、何トモ恐入候ヱ共直ニ離縁状ヲ御遣ハシ被下度願上候、小児引取モ不取モ、彼ハ是ヲ手段トシテ再ビ児ト共ナラント欲スルナリ、故ニ其一念ヲ絶タン為メニハ公然ト離別スベキニアリ、聖書モ能々調ベ候ヱ共、決シテ良心ニ耻ズル事ナシ、世間ノ人ハ何ト申ストモ決シテ意トナスニ足ラズ、早々離縁状ヲ御差遣シ被下度伏テ願上候、大君ヨ願クハ決シテ児ノ心ヲ疑ヒ玉フ勿レ
児モ彼ヲ憐マザルニアラズ、又己ノ不幸ヲ嘆ゼザルニアラズト雖ドモ、真理ノ為メニ事ヲナスニ及ンデハ何事モ思ヒ切ラザルヲ得ズ、直曲ハ人間ノ知ル所ニアラズ、只祈祷アルノミ、何ゾ一婦女ノ為メニ上帝ニ尽スベキ義務ヲ怠タランヤ、今ヤ天下ノ大勢基督教ノ風ニナビカントスルニ当リ、差少ノ情実ヨリ区々タル注解ヲ聖書ニ下シ宇宙ノ大道ヲケガスベキヤ、曾テ波蘭国（今ハロシヤ領）ノ一青年謳テ曰ク
過ギシ時ニハ我モ又一ツノ己婦《オトメ》ヲ思ヒヤリ 愛スル丈ケハ愛《メデ》テケリ 然シ我身ノ行末ハ 真理ノ為メト国ノ為メ 若シモ我身ヲウラムナラ 来ルベキ世ノ共時ニ 我真心ヲ知ルヲ得メ 云々
然シ弱キハ人ノ心ニテ、断念スベキ時ニセズンバ又差少ノ事ニマケ易シ、故ニ此手紙御受取次第、離別状御差出被下度伏テ願上候 〇達三郎ハ出京ニ相成リシヤ宜敷願上候、其他御親類様方ニ宜敷願上候 〇基督教新聞ハ御送リ被下ニ及バズ、其他別ニ異事ナシ、御安心被下度願上候 〇封入ノ一葉ハ大切ニ御シマイ置被下度願上候 〇願クハ神ノ無限ノ御恵常ニ我等ト共ニアランコトヲ、当時益々神ノ有難キ事ガ分リタリ、我等殺サルヽトモ神(167)ヲ拾テル勿レ
6月14日 【内村宜之宛 米国ワシントン府P町西三千〇三十五番地ヨリ】
千八百八十五年六月十四日米国ワシントン府ニ於テ認ム
去ル六日午後二時四十二分ヱルウヰン町ヲ発シ、費府ヲ経テ午後八時当国首府ワシントン府ニ着ス、此行タルヤ兼テケルリン氏ノ誘導ニ依リ全国慈善者ノ年会ニ参ゼンガ為メニシテ、ケルリン氏ノ殊別ノ深切ニ由ルコトナリ、費府ヨリワシントン府迄ハ百三十八英里（我五十二里余）ニシテ沿道ノ景色実ニ美ナリ、殊ニ「ウヰルミングトン」ハヾデグレース、ボルチモール、ノ如キ都会ハ実ニ盛大ヲ極メタルモノナリ、※［さんずい＋氣］車ノ走ル事ハ矢ノ如シ、大河ヲ架スル長橋、山ヲ突ク「トンネル」等一々之ヲ記スル能ハズ、五十二里ノ長路モ四時間ノ内ニ通過シ夕刻有名ナルワシントン府ニ着セリ、直ニ「ウヰラード」ト称スル旅籠屋ニ至ル、一夜四弗五十銭ナリ、食事ハ一日ニ四度、何ンデモ勝手ニ食スルヲ得、其便利ナル事、実ニ驚クベシ 〇七日晴 曾テ津田仙氏ヨリ招待状ヲ送リクレシ当府有名ノ文人ランマン氏ヲ訪フ、夫妻共ニ深切ヲ極メタリ、市中所々ヲ散歩ス、至ル処皆目ヲ驚カスノミ 〇八日曇 午前九時日本公使館ヲ訪ヒ九鬼公使ヲ見ル、告グルニ今夕市中ニ於テ日本慈善ノ事ニ付キ演説致スベキヲ以テス、公使大ニ驚キ児ニ問フニ英語如何ヲ以テス、後種々談話シテ帰ル、午後四時ランマン氏ノ招キニ応ジ昼食ヲ馳走セラル、夕七時帰宿ス、ケルリン氏ノ申スニハ日本服ヲ着シ演説スベキヲ以テス、此夜会スルモノ当国有名ノ紳士貴女四百余名、内ニ文部卿、国務卿、其他ノ高官ノ人々モ見ヘタリ、第一ニケルリン氏ノ演説アリ、続テ慈善上ノ討論アリ、時ニ午後十時頃ナリキ、ケルリン氏ノ立テ児ヲ衆人ニ紹介ス、拍手室ニ満ツ、児大和魂ノ性質ニ付テ論ズ、大ニ衆ノ喝采ヲ得タリ、段ヲ下ルニ及ンデ多クノ貴女替ハル／”＼来テ手ヲ握リ演説ノ成功ヲ祝ス、嗚呼日本開国以来ワシントン府ノ中央ニ立テ｜大和魂〔付○圏点〕ノ何物タルカヲ弁解セシハ児ヲ以テ嚆矢トナ(168)スナラン、如此事ハ最モ謹ムベキコトナレ共、広ク交際ヲ天下ニ求ムルニハ時ニ由レバ少々大胆ナル事モナサズバナラズ、大君以テ意トナスナカレ 〇九日晴 終日諸氏ノ高説ヲ聞キ大ニ社界ノ景況ヲ知ルヲ得タリ、夕刻官衙ヲ通覧シ其拡大ナルニ驚キタリ 〇十日晴 朝飯ヲ食スル時ケルリン氏児ニ向テ曰ク、今日君ヲ大統領クリブランド氏ニ面会致サセ度思フナリト、児答テ曰ク児ノ衣服甚ダ麁ナリ之ヲ如何セント、氏曰ク君ハ日本人ナリ意トナス勿レト、依テ大胆ニモ昨年東京ニ於テ求メシ夏服ヲ着シ、ケルリン氏ニ尾シテ旅宿ヲ発ス、九時半有名ナル白家《ホワイトハウス》ニ至ル、別ニ壮麗ヲ極メタリトハ云ヒ難ケレドモ何ントナク五千五百万人ノ頭梁ノ住家丈ケアリテ見醒マシク覚ヘタリ、取続ヲ以テ名札ヲ出ス、待ツコト半時間余ニシテ内閣議員集会所ニ至ル、進デ大統領ノ房ニ至リ暫時ニシテクリブランド氏来テ手ヲ握リ大ニ渡米ノ志ヲ感ズ、ケルリン氏少シク談話、再ビ手ヲ握テ帰ル、実ニ自由国丈ケアリテ大統領間暇ノ時ハ誰レニテモ面会シ随意ニ談話スルヲ得ルナリ、白家ハ市ノ中央ニ当リ大蔵省ト内務省ノ間ニアリ、南面ニポトマック川ノ景色ヲ望ミ絶景無双ト称スベシ、午後公使館ニ参ル、九鬼公使殊別ニ人ヲ頼ミクレ児ヲ農務省并ニ水産調査所ニ連レクレ候、又有名ナルスミソニアン院長ベヤルド氏ニ会シ日本漁業上ノ談話ヲナシ甚ダ有益ナル事項ヲ得タリキ、其他大学者諸氏ニ会シ大ニ得ル所アリタリ 〇十一日晴 午前十時海軍省ニ参リ、カプテーン タンナル氏ヲ訪フ、氏ハ水産学者ニシテ調査船アルバトロス号ノ艦長ナリ、ベヤルド氏ノ紹介ニ依リ該船ヲ一覧スルヲ得タリ、其構造ノ精密ナル実ニ驚入タリ、日本ニテ水産調査ナドト云テサワグトモ迚モ当国ノ百万分ノ一ニモ及バザルハ又理アルナリ、タンナル氏非常ニ深切ニシテ種々講ジクレ大ニ得ル所アリタリ、午後博物館ニ参リ重ニ水産上ノ事項ヲ究ム、館員甚ダ丁寧ナリキ 〇十二日晴 午前十時ポトマック河※［さんずい＋氣］船ニ乗リ、マウント、バルノント申ス所ニ参ル、ソハ、ワシントン大将ノ墓并ニ住居セシ家屋ヲ見ン為メナリ、両岸ノ樹木繁リ景色殊ニ宜シ、十一時半着ス、将軍ノ墓ニ詣シ、其住セシ家ニ至リ、大ニ旧古ヲ思出セリ、何レ委細ハ後便ニ書送セント欲ス、午後三時半ワシントン府ニ帰ル 〇十三日晴 午前十時文部省ニ至リ、イートン卿ニ会ス、教育上ノ事ニ付テ談話ス、後省内ノ諸役所ヲ通覧ス、時ニ曾テ旧英語学□ニテ児ノ授教(169)タリシ服部氏ニ会ス、氏ハ官命ニテニュー、ヲリーンス博覧会ニ在リシ仁ナリ、午後当府ニテ有名ナル貴女スペンセル婦ヲ訪フ、婦ハ年四十八ニシテ其智識学才、等ニ至テハ実ニ国内ニ有名ナルモノナリ、重ニ貧者ヲ救フヲ以テ一生ノ務トナシ居ル者ナリ、依テ大ニ当府内ノ情実ヲ知ルヲ得タリ 〇十四日晴 日曜日故内ニテ休足ス
右ハ今般出府中ノ大略ニシテ其委細ハ後便ニ少シヅヽ申上ベシ、実ニケルリン氏ノ殊外ノ紹介ニ依リ不可得ノ学問ヲ致シ、ウレシク存候、明日ヨリ五日間当地ニ滞在ノ後一度ヱルウヰン町ニ帰ル積リニ御座候、去ル十日夕刻ヨリ当家即チ曾テ津田仙氏ノ娘梅婦ノ世話ニナリ居リシ文人ランマン氏ノ世話ニ相成居候、同氏ニ御面会ノ節クレ／”＼モ御礼被下度願上候、津田氏ト懇意ニナリシ利益ハ種々有之候ヱ共今度ノ如キハ実ニ得難キ幸ト存候、万事都合宜シ、決シテ御心配被下マジク候、之ヨリ又如何ナル場合ニ立至ヤ不知、後便御待受被下度候
6月16日 浅田信芳殿行 日本上州安中駅旧城内 Mr．N．Asada，Annaka，Kozuke，Japan．
基督ニ於テ愛スル在日本浅田信芳兄ニ書ヲ寄ス、愛兄ト離レテヨリ已ニ九ケ月ニ及ブ、御互ニ種々ノ艱難ヲ経テ今日ニ至ルモ未ダ天父ノ恵ハ絶ヘズ返テ暗夜ノ内ニ星光ヲ見ルノ心地致シ、基督ノ十字架ノ益々貴キヲ悟ルヲ得ルニ至リシハ嗚呼愛兄ヨ艱難返テ幸福ヲ生ジ、今世ノ不幸ハ遠永ノ生ヲ買フモノナルヲ知ル時ハ甘味又荊草ノ中ニアルニアラズヤ、小弟貴兄ノ心ヲ察ス、兄又弟ノ為メニ祈レヨ、心ニ悪意ヲ蔵シテ先般ノ決断ヲ為セシニアラズ、能々思慮ヲ回ラシ七ニ七ヲ乗ジ怠堪ヲ尽シタレ共、終ニ弟ノ意ヲ尊妹ニ通ズルヲ得ズ、度々弟ヨリ離レ度キノ御｜語《コトバ》アリシト雖ドモ之女子ノ小言ト存ジ、種々慰メント雖ドモ之モ無益ニ属シ返テ弟ニ難題ヲ掛ケラレ、且ツ云フニ云フベカラザルノ行状夥多有之、依テ能々思考致候処是夫婦ニシテ夫婦ニアラズ、タトヘ世ニハ一体タリシト明言セシモ心ニ弟ヲ離レタシ、或ハ已ニ越前トヤラニ手紙ヲ送リ弟ヲ離レシ後ノ御趣向等モ有之シトカ、又｜一日《アルヒ》弟ノ申セシニ、一度ビ家ヲ出シナラ之最終ノ証ト見留メテ宜シキヤト伺シニ、｜勿論〔付○圏点〕トマデ御返詞有之ニ於(170)テハ、是心ヲ読ミ玉フ神ノ前ニ於テ聖書ニ所謂濫淫ニシテ迚モ一生ヲ共ニスル能ハザルノミナラズ、是ヲ不問ニ置ケバ返テ小生ノ罪ト認メ申候、聖書ニ曰ク人ヲ悪ム者ハ人殺ナリト、又曰ク汝目ニ婦人ヲ恋ヘパ之密通ナリト、即チ聖書ノ最モ貴重トスル所ハ心ナリ、朋友タルモ心ニアリ、敵タルモ心ニアリ、心離レ、心夫ヲ去ラントシ（口并ニ行状ニテ示ストキハ）心、夫ヲ一生ノ一人ノ男子ト見留メザルトキハ実ニ止ムヲ得ザル事ナガラ馬太伝五章二十七節（女ヲ男ト変ジテ読メバ）ニ由テ決断セザルベカラズ、人或ハ云ハン、之通常基督信者ノ為サヾル所ナリト、弟云ハン、人ハ為ストモ為サヾルトモ基督信者ノ為スベキコトハ人ニ義務ヲナスニアラズ、神ニ為スニアリ、小弟ノ良心ヲ以テ聖書ヲ注解シ之ニ依シ万事ヲ所置シ以テ神ニ耻ヂザル様致スノミ、依テ｜断然於竹婦トハ離別致〔付○圏点〕ス決断ヲ以テ東京愚父ヘ向篤ト依頼致シ候間、離別状御受納被下度此段願上候也
嗚呼愛兄ヨ、書シテコヽニ至リ涙袖ニ満チ又何ヲ書センカヲ不知、法ニ強ク、心ニ弱キハ真正ノ勇者ニシテ、裁判ト恵トノ対議ニ至テハ基督信者ノ最モ難トスル処ナリ、如此所置ヲ施スニ至テハ後来貴兄ト弟ニ来ル所ノ難ハ実ニ明了ニシテ、御互ニ墓ニ入ルマデ此難ヲ負ハザルヲ得ズ、嗚呼浅田兄ヨ、兄ハ弟ノ一生ノ艱難ノ友ナリ、弟尊妹ノ為メニ決シテ兄ヲ忘レズ、他日神ノ御許ヲ得テ学修ノ復帰国スルヲ得バ、又親密ノ兄弟ノ情ヲ現ハサンコトヲ望ム、弟、兄ノ為メニ忍バント欲ス、兄又弟ノ為メニ忍ベヨ、罪人ヲ退ケ又ハ之ヲ罪スルハ法ナリ、悔テ之ヲ許スハ恵ナリ、若シ尊妹ニシテ後日ノ行状ヲ悔ヒ基督ニ於テ復生セバ神ハ喜テ之ヲ恕スルノミ、我等信徒ハ如何ナル罪人ヲモ免セザルヲ得ズ、然シ之ヲ心ニ免スルハ一ニシテ社界ノ関係ニ於テ免サヾル又一ツナリ、故ニ若シ於竹婦ニシテ真正ノ後悔アレバ彼一人ノ魂ノ復活シタルコトナレバ実ニ喜ブベキコトナリ、然シ弟ニシテ再ビ之ヲ娶ルハ宜シカラズ、且ツ御互ノ心ヲケガシ士気ヲ挫キ今世ニ目ヲ留メテ来世ノ思想ヲ害スルニ至ル、故ニ小弟ト御再縁ノ念ハ全ク断レカシ、而シテ小弟ヲ夫ト呼ブヨリハ基督ナル夫ヲ求メラルヽ時キハ其幸ナル何万倍ナルヤ知ルベカラズ、即チ小ニ捨テラレ大ヲ得シニシテ、何ノ幸福カ之ニシカン、然ルヲ小生ノ弱心ヲ頼マレ帰国ノ後御再縁セラレントサルヽハ第一、尊妹ノ心ヲケガシ、第ニ社界ノ法則ニ反シ、第三、小生ヲシテ再ビ艱難(171)ニ落入レラルヽニシテ何方ヨリ見ルモ小生ニ対シ、社界ニ対シ、神ニ対シ宜シカヲザルコトナレバ｜断然御諦メ被下度願上候〔付○圏点〕、且又小生ニシテ再ビ於竹婦ヲ娶ルニ至ラバ小生モ同ジ譴ニ落入ルナリ、「汝ノ一目汝ヲ害セバ取テ之ヲ捨ヨ、片眼ニシテ天国ニ入ルハ両眼ヲ以テ地獄ニ入ルニマサル」ナノ言ハ今日ノ用ニアリ、
又小児事ハ直ニ束京拙宅ヘ御引渡被下度願上候、先般於竹婦ヘ向ケ万々一御引渡無之ニ於テハ小生関係無之旨申上置候ヱ共、之大ニ小生ノ法律ニ暗カリシ事ニシテ当低母ニ属スル者ニアラズシテ、イヤデモ、ヲーデモ、小生ニ属スル者ナレパ、母子ノ情ヨリ考フル時ハ実ニ可憐ナレ共、之又不得止次第ニテ、之又御一念ノ下ニ御所置ヲ願ハザルベカラズ、若シ御不承知等ヨリ法律騒ギニデモ至リ候テハ御互ノ心配ニ御座候間、此旨篤ト御勘考ノ上拙宅ヘ御引渡被下度願上候
嗚呼兄ヨ、弟ハ決シテ如斯手紙ヲ書クコトヲ好マザルナリ、カリソメニモ一度夫婦トナリシ上ハ互の情ヲ推シ温和ニ事ヲ結ビ、解テ後再ビ基督ニ於テ善ナル友トナリ、共ニ天国ニ向テ歩ムノ助ケトナリ度思フナリ、若シ於竹婦ニシテ弟ノ今日迄尽セシ愛心（甚ダ足ラザリシガ）ヲ御記念被下ナラ今般ノ事モ能々御諦メ被下、弟ヲシテ世ニ立テ有益ナル人物タル様ニ御祈リ且ツ御助被下マジクヤ、然ルヲ御自身ノ御幸福（世ノ中ノ）ヲ得ラレン為メニ種々弟ヲ難マセラルヽハ嗚呼又何ノ心ゾヤ、彼蘭《ポーランド》ノー青年謳テ云ク
スギニシ頃ハ我モ又 一ツノ少婦ヲ思ヒヤリ
愛スル丈ケハ愛《メデ》ニケリ、然シ我身ノ行末ハ
真理ノ為メト国ノ為メ 若シモ我身ヲウラムナラ
来ラントスル其時ニ（【天国ヲ云】） 我真心ヲ知ルヲ得メ 云々
嗚呼能ク弟ノ今日ノ心ヲ言ヒシモノナリ、嗚呼浅田於竹愛姉ヨ、愛姉ニシテ弟ニ一滴ノ御恵心ヲ垂ラルヽナラ、今日断然弟ヲ夫トスルノ念ヲ断タレ小児ヲ直ニ拙宅ニ御渡被下、以テ小弟ノ心ヲ安スラレ、小弟ヲシテ安然ニ学ニ付クヲ得セシメラレヨ、是小弟今日愛婦ニ向テ最モ願フ所ナリ、小生ノ一生ノ目的ハ決シテ変セズ、即チ神ノ(172)御許ヲ得バ如何ニカシテ小生ノ如ク苦ムモノヲ救ハント欲ス、故ニ当国ニ在テハ随分艱難ナル位置ニアリ、病人ノ見病、其他ノ事等ニ至テハ迚モ紙筆ニ足スベカラズ、然シ艱難ハ救主ノ賜物、小生ノ妻タリシ者スラ小生ヲ非常ニナヤマセリ、マシテ他人ニ於テヲヤ、依テ喜デ其難ヲ受クルノミ、然シ拙宅ヨリ手紙ノ達スル毎ニ心消ヘ、精神挫ケ、一日モ早ク墓ニ入リ度思フコト数々ナリ、嗚呼愛姉ヨ、何ゾ小弟ヲ憐マザル何時マデ小生ヲ苦シントサルヽヤ
小生来米以来重ニ聖書ヲ研究シ、当時ハ大ニ其意ヲ解スルヲ得喜バシク存候、父母ヲ離レテモ妻ニスガレトの意味モヨウヤく解カリ一安心仕候、小生事ハ妻ヲ離レテ父母ニツガリシ者ナレバ、或ハ信者諸氏中小生ヲ不信者視セラルヽモアランケレド、小生ノ良心ニ耻ヂザルコト故、苦ニモ致シ申サズ、教会ヨリ逐出サルヽモ基督ヨリ逐出サレザル様心掛ケルノミニ御座候、故ニ今一応聖書ノ研究ヲ密ニシ、過ギニシコトハ悔ヒ、来テントスルコトヲ慎シミ、此不足ナル体ヲ神ニサヽグルノミ アーメン
六月十六日 米国ワシントン府ニ於テ 内村鑑三拝ス
在日本安中 浅田様 御内
安中諸兄姉へ宜敷奉願候、小生宿所ハ左ノ通リ
Jon K．Uchimura，
Elwyn，Pa．U．S．A．
当時ハ所用ニテ首府ワシントン府ニ滞在致居候、其宏大ナルコトハ実ニ驚クベシ、余ハ後便ニユヅル
我等互ニ後来ハ彼難事ニ付テ書スルコトヲ已メ愉快ナル国ノ為メニナルコトノミヲ書送シテハ如何ン
〔余白ニ〕 於竹姉ニ申ス、願クハ、ハリス氏ホヰットニー氏等ニ行テ小生ノ面ニ耻ヲ増ス勿レ
〔冒頭余白ニ〕 クレ／”＼モ於竹婦ヨリ御申訳ハ御断申上候、男子一度ビ心ヲ決シテ動キテハナラズ、此旨能々御承知被下度
(173) 6月21・24日 新島襄宛
EIwyn，Pa., U．S．A.,
June 21，1885．
Mr．Joseph Neejima，
My Vau1able Brother in Jesus：
After spending two weeks in Washington，blessed with new inspirations from devout hearts，stocked with valuable informations from the mouths of the best and ablest of Americans，and filled with bright prospects for my much-desired service for our common Master，−I am again here at EIwyn，surrounded with my weaker comrades．Your love for Christ and patriotism for Japan have been my hope and impetus while I dared to go amidst strangers，to learn something which may benefit my countrymen．God blessed my humble endeavors abundantly．Religiously，socially，and scientifically，I count my visit to Washington to be of immense benefit to me．The National Conference of Charity taught me a great deal．Subjects of Crime and its Causes，Pauperism，Kindergarten，etc．were doubtless very interesting，and very ably discussed．I leave them，however，for future discussion with you．My visit to Smithsonian Institution was of inestimable benefit to me．I had a long talk with Prof．Spencer Baird about fishery of Japan，and he was exceedingl ykind to me．Through him，I was introduced to many of most eminent naturalists connected with the Institution．We entered into a lengthy conversation about the natural History of Japan．They expressed their hearty consent to cooperation with me in future．All of their publications were furnished to (174)me，with a promise to admit my name to their“office-book”so that I can obtain any of their future publications．I also introduced“University of Kioto”to them．（!!!）She shall have the full benefit from this learned Institution in future．I also met with Gov．Eaton，President Cleveland，etc．Mr．Hattori（服部）of Japan came to Washington just at the time，and I was able to present the cause of idiotic children before him．He was very much pleased with all what I learned here．He expressed his hearty sympathy for the work，and encouraged me with a promise to try all he can to start up an Institution in Japan after he get［sic］home．May God bless my humble endeavor to wipe away some tears from the face of this earth；and if by His help，an idiotic institution be started in Japan，and some of this unfortunate class be cared for，what a great consolation it be for this dejected，broken soul！
〔余白ニ〕I met with Prof．Hitchcock of Amherst at Washington．He read a very interesting paper on“the Prevention of Insanity among students”I had a long talk with him．I found many men who know you．I was welcomed almost everywhere．Thanks be to God for all these．
24th．−I deferred to forward this letter to you，because I have been thinking about my future course．I saw Mrs．Morris a few days ago．She was cxceedingly kind to me，and asked me if I will not accept the help of her and her friends in educating myself in America．She told me that she went to Haverford College whether it has a Biological course for its students．The answer being negative，she asked to some of her friends whether the same cannot be taught in Pennsylvania University．This all she did for my sake，and I feel ashamed that I have not been able to appreciate her heart thus far．She said that she and her friends can furnish me ＄300 a year to support．O，Mr．Neejima，I am overwhelmed with gratitude to God for such kind hearts．May I look to Him (175)alone for all these blessings！
〔余白ニ〕The greatest drawback on my part to receive this help is what I told you last time．
However，it is not she，or she alone that are going to help me．I will try however not to receive it if possible，or as little help as possible．
As to the course of study I should take，I think I better take some definite branch．It is not a“vain-glory”，I think，to receive a honorary degree，especially in scientific studies；because it is nothing but a certificate for the certain amount of education which a man has received．All things considered，therefore，I better take a course，the completion of which wil confer upon me a degree（if this is possible）．Considering from all poiints，I think，I can very profitably spend two or three years in studying Medicine．The Reasons are：
1．This is usually the true way to get the best knowledge of Biology．
2．Medical knowledge will help me immensely，in case God allows me to preach His gospels．
3．It will serve to support myself，without the aid of Government or private societies，I consider“independent supportas one of the essentials for a Christian worker，especially in Japan．I am going to see Dr．Pepper of Penn．Univ．to-morrow morning，to ask whether I can have a free scholarship．By the help of Mr．Morris，and through the influence of Dr．Kerlin，I may be fortunate enough to have one．But，it is still very uncertain whether I can get an entrance to the UniverSity or not，there being still many difficulties to overcome．I wish you，however，to poStpone your kind endeavor，for my sake，for a moment，till I write you again．I may be able to place myself favorably，here in Philadelphia，in which case，I may relieve you from one work at least，amidst your manifold labors．
(176) I am exceedingly selfih，am I not，Mr．Neejima．If I look so to you，my apology is only in my trust upon you．I wish to ask your advice about me．You know，I am not mine，but Lord's．The greatest enemy to me at present，is not poverty or mean labor，but my selfishness，−my depraved，deceitful，haughty heart．Even my philanthropy is very frequently nothing but a cloaked form of pride and approbativeness．I get astray not so much because my temperament is such（as some of my friends accuse me）as the fear that I am going on my own way，and not the Lord's．“Speak Lord，for thy servant heareth”is my groan and prayer all the time．I want to have some distinct voice abont my calling，and I think，I have heart enough to take up any work without murmuring．As for the present，I will try to walk in tbe way which seems to be His way；and if all go well，I accept it with amen ；if not，resign with“Thy will be done．”So，I leave this matter wholly to God；and in case，it is not His will that I should take Medical course both as a way for the study of Biology and as a means of propagating His gospels，but that I should go to Amherst and study there，I wish you to look after me as heretofore，and make some arrangement to go there，if it be in your power to do so．（I am conscious of my impertinence in making such a selfish request to you．）
How is your health now？ Never have I forgotten to pray for you since I saw you last．Following your advice，I am still studying the lives of great men．Historical and Biograpbical studies are exceedingly charming to me．They teach me about Providence，Justice，Power of Love，the Ways of patience and perseverence，and the Immortal Nature of Righteous Men．Better leave a little work with Christ-like motive than 10,000 works with so-called“policies ＆ expediencies．”Lives of Henry W of France，of Mahomet,etc．all remind me that perfect Honesty and Sincerity are the only ways (177)for the permanent reform of this perverse generation．Many look up on Christianity as a means to civilize a nation，tO consolidate tbe government，to increase the material wealth of countries，etc.；and thus commit grand errors in after generations．Had Mahomet carried on his work through life，as sincerely as he did for the first seven years of his ministry，his religion might have prepared many to inherit the Christian heaven．He looked to“expediency”，and all became confusion．“Yea，yea；nay，nay”ought to be our only ways of serving God and mankind，I think．I look for that time，when our efforts will be blessed in Japan．How precious are Christian brothers to one another in Japan！ O，Mr．Neejima，pardon me if I call you a brother；but to me，you are really so，though I am totally unworthy to be counted among your brothers．Somebow，I am dreaming of coworking with you．I have given up any idea to unite with Government again，neither have I any wish to belong to any foreign sect or established church．I wish to live as a simple Christian Japanese，and die as a common Japanese citizen．Christ and Japan are my watch words，and to those who are working for these，my heart turns with a womanish love．But alas！ how few are those whose unselfish hearts are throbbing，and wbose eyes are pouring tears for these sweetest of names，−Christ and Japan！
Ever yours in Christ and Japan，
Jon．K．Uchimura． 〔余白ニ）Letters from home are extremely discouraging．A wicked woman trying to torment my parents．Come，whatever may come．Tears？ What are they？ They simply“drive me to the breast of Christ”．
〔余白ニ〕My head is exceedingly confusing：hence the bad Englsh and general confusion of the